Do You?
by Hungryeater
Summary: Nearly two years after making her choice and betting her heart all-in to Chuck, soon-to-be Blair Bass receives a letter in the mail that brings the emotions of that evening back to the surface in full force. Multi-chapter R&R please!
1. The Letter

**Nearly two years after making her choice and betting her heart all-in to Chuck, soon-to-be Blair Bass receives a letter in the mail that brings the emotions of that evening back to the surface in full force. The contents of the letter are the lyrics to Ne-Yo's "Do You," except for the last couple sentences. I haven't heard this song in a while but I heard this song on my ipod on shuffle last week and immediately thought DB and I suggest checking out this song. Just trying to cope after the _craptastic _S5 finale, so I'm writing my first fanfic. I'm still hurting and unsure if I can recover, but at least a lot of great writing is emerging! This is currently a one-shot, but with enough reviews to motivate me, I may make this a multi-chap story, as I do have a couple ideas in mind. R&R please!**

_**Disclaimer: Don't own GG or DB, if I did, the series would be Dair-centric and I would hire my friends and a bunch of awesome fanfic Dair writers to rule. Hopefully there are no mistakes, but if so, I own them.**_

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Nearly two years after making her choice and betting her heart all-in to Chuck, soon-to-be Blair Bass receives a letter in the mail that brings the emotions of that evening back to the surface in full force.

After another hard day's work in her Paris office of Waldorf Designs, Blair comes home to relax with a fairly large box of macaroons and a glass of wine beside the warm bubble bath that is drawn up every evening. While in the tub, Blair began to rummage through the useless pile of mail with an eyeroll, she was piqued with intrigue by an ivory white envelope addressed to her, sprawled in nearly unreadable writing, with no return address. Raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, she thought for what felt like an _eternity_ whether it could really be from _him_ with all of his anger and hurt and whether or not she actually _cared_ enough to read it. Losing the inner struggle, she finally relented and opened the envelope with mock haste. With bated breath, Blair began to read the letter which confirmed her suspicion that it was written by a certain brunette with muppet hair and chocolate orbs that had a certain knack with the written word.

_Blair,_

_Maybe this decision was a mistake_

_You probably don't care what I have to say_

_But it's been heavy on my mind for months now_

_Guess I'm trying to clear some mental space_

_I would love to talk to you in person_

_But I understand why that can't be_

_I'll leave you alone for good I promise_

_If you answer this one question for me…_

_I just wonder_

_Do you ever_

_Think of me anymore_

_Do you?_

_First off, let me say congratulations_

_Heard that you just had a baby girl_

_If she looks anything like her mother_

_She's the prettiest thing in the world_

_I swear that I'm not tryin' to start no trouble_

_Tell your fiancé, he can relax_

_I'll leave you alone for good I promise, _

_But there's a question I just got to ask_

_I just wonder_

_Do you ever_

_Think of me anymore_

_Do you?_

_I know what we have is dead and gone_

_Too many times I made you cry_

_And I don't mean to interrupt your life_

_I just wonder do I ever cross your mind?_

_I just wonder_

_Do you ever_

_Think of me anymore_

_Do you?_

_I just wonder_

_Do you ever_

_Think of me anymore_

_Do you?_

_If truth be told Blair, I think of you every day and wish things were different … but they aren't and I'm sorry for that. I've let go of the hurt I felt long ago and I am genuinely happy for you._

_Cabbage Patch_

After reading the most heartfelt letter, which she had not anticipated from Humphrey, as their last exchange was extremely bitter, tears poured down faster than a landslide. If she were being honest, _really honest_ with herself, there was never a day since she made her choice that she did not think of Dan. There was even a part of her, okay, a _big_ part of her that wished she was engaged to _him_ and that _he _was the father of her baby girl. Like Dan wrote though, as much as they both wished things were different… they clearly aren't. She made her bed nearly two years ago and now she must lie in it.

After checking on her baby girl, she lay on the bed next to Chuck, her fiancé, but Blair's only thoughts were of the writer back in Brooklyn.

_If only Dan knew how I really felt about him…_ _He asked me a simple question in his letter and that was if I ever thought about him. My answer, as simple as it is, holds the most truth than any long-winded soliloquy I could ever come up with._

_Yes… _


	2. A House is Not a Home

Groggily waking up at 3:00 am to the wails of a newborn through the baby monitor, Blair rustles herself out of the silk sheets of the bed and trudges down the hall, trying not to disturb Chuck's much-needed sleep.

Audrey, the ever-adventurous 2 month old, who is of course named after Blair's idol, Audrey Hepburn, continued to wail profusely much to the dismay of Blair. Knowing exactly what would calm her daughter down, Blair pulled out her phone just loud enough for Audrey's room to be filled with the tune of "Moon River" and began to sway with Audrey in time with the music. Swaying and rocking Audrey back and forth, Blair took this intimate time to enjoy the little bundle of joy wrapped tightly within her arms by observing Audrey's features: from Audrey's perfect porcelain skin that was the same shade as Blair's, to Audrey's precious coffee eyes that personified her father. Blair wished Audrey would not grow up and have those gleaming eyes filled with tears like her or with the cold and harshness that Chuck often possessed, though.

By the time "Moon River" came to end, Audrey was fast asleep on Blair's shoulder, her cute little fingers seeming to reach out to the stars in symbolism to her future. Sharing a silent chuckle with herself as she placed Audrey back in her crib, Blair couldn't believe at how far she had come from the bitchy Queen B at the Met steps to now – a mother. Motherhood had been far from her mind since the whole … Louis fiasco… but as she embraced it now with all of the joys and the struggles, she couldn't think of anything else but to be the best mother she can be in the eyes of her daughter.

Before leaving, in the softest whisper, Blair says,

_"False alarms and false starts_

_All made better by the sound of your heart_

_All the pain of the last time_

_I prayed so hard it was the last time_

_The most amazing feeling I feel_

_Words can't describe the feeling, for real_

_Baby, I paint the sky blue_

_My greatest creation was you"_

Instead of returning to bed, as she no longer felt sleepy, Blair wandered through the oversized house Chuck was insistent on buying. Though Blair grew up in the lavish extravagance the UES had to offer, she immediately scoffed at its size but eventually relented because this was Chuck of course, anything less than grandeur would be beneath him. Even after almost two years, Chuck was still very much Chuck. Of course in the beginning when Blair first proclaimed betting all-in, Chuck really tried to be there. He took time from trying to regain Bass Industries to actually hold a conversation with her and listening to Blair with his undivided attention and the grand gestures were ever present, once again. Like all good things though, they must eventually come to an end, which in their case was a measly three months later, when fall rolled around. The arguments and games returned, as well as the extended business trips Chuck partook in. Instead of making matters worse, Blair decided to put all her energy into Waldorf Designs. When Blair reluctantly gave Chuck the news of an impending baby Bass, he seemed bewildered, but not in a scared yet joyous way, more like resentment. Returning home from work the next evening, Chuck proposed in such a lavish way that Blair would be an idiot to turn him down. For a moment she actually hesitated but accepted anyways because this is what she has always wanted. As Blair questioned Chuck on his sudden proposal, his only response was

_"It would be good for potential investors to see that Chuck Bass is settling down and starting a family. We are ChuckandBlair, BlairandChuck, the inevitable."_

Walking down the corridors of their Paris home and glancing at the 10 other rooms that were desolate, feeling a rush of cold air sweep through her body at its emptiness, thoughts plagued Blair adding uneasiness to the coldness that stiffened her body.

_This isn't right. I have everything I have always dreamt of – a home. A house is certainly not a home, but those living in the house are my home… or at least what I thought was my home, with Chuck. ChuckandBlair. BlairandChuck. The inevitable. And now with Audrey, my life is complete… so why am I not happier?_

As if God was trying to tell her something without having it spelled in block letters for her, there sat on her study was _his_ letter.

_**Of course.**_

Hopefully Chuck didn't happen to chance upon the letter this evening, but she didn't really care at this point. Reviewing Dan's words over and over again, she needed to get her own words off her chest. Knowing she couldn't scream at the top of her lungs like she wanted to, Blair opted for a more reasonable way to express herself, in a way she could connect with Dan, through writing a letter. As she began, Blair caught her marvelous Harry Winston engagement ring glistening in the light of her study and suddenly the ring felt very heavy on her finger, so in one swift motion she removed it and stored it in her drawer during the duration of writing her letter.

_Dan,_

_Yes, I know I'm using your first name as I'm writing this letter so don't even think about rolling your eyes, though you probably have already. Your letter really touched me and I really need to get my words out to you in this letter, which will showcase the truth and if you continue to read this letter, no matter how you feel by the end, it will still be the truth. You deserve that much from me at least, which is also why you deserve to be acknowledged by your first name in this letter to state how serious I am._

_Minutes prior writing this to you Dan, Audrey, my daughter, was crying her pretty little head off. I figured out early on that the only way to soothe her is to sway with her while "Moon River" played. Our song. My daughter went to a blissful dreamland while listening to our song, Dan._

_In your letter, you asked me a simple question and that was if I ever thought about you. My answer, as simple as it is, holds so much truth._

_Yes…_

_No matter how things between us went down, I still think about you and the fact that I do care what you say though we always disagree and bicker, the fact I want to talk to you in person as well, and the fact that as much as I find your muppet hair annoying, I would love to rake my fingers through them, you Williamsburg Weasel. Like you said in your letter, you wished things were different… me too… but we both know that we can't turn back Father Time, as much as we would like to._

_Dan, you apologized in your letter so I think it is my turn to apologize though I know this is long overdue. Yes, this version of Blair, who is now a mother, is going to apologize. As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility. I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me so I want to take this time out to apologize for things I have done and things that have not occurred yet, and the things I don't want to take responsibility for._

_I'm sorry for the times I left you home alone._

_I'm sorry for the times that I had to go._

_I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know that you were sitting home just wishing we could go back to when it was just you and me._

_I'm sorry for the times I would neglect._

_I'm sorry for the times I disrespect._

_I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done._

_I'm sorry for the fact that I'm not aware that you can't sleep at night when I am not there._

_I'm sorry for the things that I did not say, like how you are the best thing in my world and how I'm so proud to call you my love._

_I understand that there are some problems and I am not too blind to know, all the pain you kept inside you, even though you might not show._

_If I can apologize for being wrong, then it's just a shame on me._

_I'll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me_

_If I'm being honest, really honest with myself, there was never a day since I made my decision that I did not think of you, Dan. There was even a part of me, okay, a big part of me that wished I was engaged to you and that you are Audrey's father._

_I care deeply about you and I know that however you feel, you still care about me – the letter you wrote proves it. However, I knew we couldn't stay together as long as your insecurities about Chuck were present. Being near me or just the fact that you loved me so much was putting both of us at risk. So, I used defense mechanisms and plausible deniability to lie to you. I was mean, callous, and completely disrespectful of your feelings. I did everything I could to you so you would hate me (and I know it worked), because I know that's the only way you could ever stay away from me and, in turn, from danger: I had broken your heart to save you, needing to be cruel to be kind. You gave me your whole heart and rarely asked for anything in return Dan and I really hope you don't regret that. All I did was end up grieving you far worse than any of the schemes and games Chuck and I played. Again… I'm sorry._

_Well, writing this long-winded letter has left me in tears, I've even spotted a couple of drips on the paper and in order to spare the rest of this letter and myself, I will leave you with one final, truthful, and most important thought._

_I know I couldn't say those three words that day at your loft after you did, honestly, because I was scared as hell, but I want you to know that I had always felt it._

_You need to believe that I mean this…_

_I LOVE YOU…_

_I,_

_BLAIR WALDORF,_

_LOVE YOU,_

_DAN HUMPHREY!_

_Blair_

Breathing a heavy sigh of relief, Blair stuffed the letter to a blue envelope and wrote Dan's name on the front with her eloquent writing. She contemplated her next move. Grasping the envelope with shaky hands, which carried the letter with the words of having her heart on her sleeve… Blair_ nearly_ ripped it up… but after several minutes of thought passing, she just couldn't bear to do it.

After a split second, Blair made a decision.

She vowed on the letter she had just poured her heart and soul into that she would find Dan. As much as Blair knew he did not want to be found, she needed to see him face-to-face and hand deliver this letter to him. Knowing there was a huge chance of him rejecting her, Blair risked the humiliation because she wanted, no, _needed_ this.

Somehow, someway, Blair Waldorf was going to scour the Earth's surface to find Dan Humphrey.


	3. He was Here the Whole Time

**Here is another chapter! Glad to see the reviews and support pouring in. I enjoy writing this but had a bit of writer's block, so this is probably not my best work. After some digging on the internet, I hear rumours of an impending CB wedding, which makes me pull my hair and roll my eyes. Well, this may be my last update for awhile as I'm going on vacation on Friday for two weeks, in New York. I also hear that the cast began filming S6, so I may spot the cast and get an inside scoop on what's going down and who's ending up with who and yell at those responsible for that _FAIL _finale. Anyways, when I get back, I promise to deliver some good surprises, so hold on! Mistakes, if any, are mine but feel free to spam Josh Schwartz' Facebook account (if he has any friends left, that is). LOL :P R&R plz! BTW, FYI I saw the movie Savages - Sex, Drugs, Violence = Good movie!**

* * *

Today, what began as a relaxing family breakfast ended as nothing but in sheer disaster. Chuck was to attend an early morning meeting with prospective investors from Dubai; there was a last minute cancellation though, which left Chuck completely free for the day. In other words, he was completely free for a whole day of _sex_.

Knowing Chuck's motives in his now predictable ways of seduction, Blair was making excuses for not wanting to be intimate – something she had been doing a lot of lately – mainly because caring for Audrey was physically and mentally exhausting her, not that Chuck would really know.

The topic of Chuck helping with Audrey seems to be dredged up quite often, most recently, their spat last week. Now, while trying to enjoy breakfast with an assortment of French pastries, warm fresh croissants, and fresh fruit, the subject is brought up once again.

"Chuck, you have the day off today, why don't you spend the day with Audrey while I go to the spa and shopping afterwards?"

"You know why I can't, I may have a meeting last minute and besides, I don't even know where to begin. I'm Chuck Bass – businessman not babysitter."

"For God's sake Chuck, you are not Audrey's babysitter, you're her _father_! When you proposed to me, you promised to be there for Audrey as well as myself. When I was pregnant you took time to read pamphlets and books and even attended pre-natal classes with me!"

Blair covered her daughter's sensitive ears for her next sentence.

"Since Audrey had been born, they have become empty promises full of bullshit! You are a grown man but I have yet to see you change a diaper on your own as the only time you ever tried, I basically did it for you!"

"Oh come on Blair, don't bring up this crap again! You know damn well I am tr-"

"Save it Bass! I deserve a day out for myself so I trust that when I get back that Audrey will be healthy, meaning: in one piece, diaper changed, dressed, fed, napped, and etc."

"Dammit Blair!"

Blair wore her black Marc Jacobs pumps and grabbed her matching purse and was out the door within minutes, slamming it shut with a resounding thud behind her.

Sitting on the cool leather seats of her town car as the beautiful Paris landscape went by, Blair reflected on the many arguments they've shared since the birth of Audrey – all starting in the same manner and always about Chuck not upholding his responsibilities as a father. Whenever Blair talks to Chuck, she refers to her daughter as Audrey and rarely ever says _"our daughter"_ unless at an event or gala with Chuck. It never sounded quite right when the words rolled off her tongue. ChuckandBlair and BlairandChuck were becoming more distant with each passing day, but Blair tries to and wants to work things out, for Audrey's sake, but it seems like she digs herself into a bigger whole, one she can't climb out of. But she puts all those thoughts aside, at least for now, in order to enjoy her day of being pampered. It was times like this Blair wished Serena was around, but knew better, as it would be certainly awkward for Blair pouring her heart out to her ex-bestie, when they both wanted Dan.

After relaxing at the spa and several hours of shopping for Audrey and herself, Blair needed to make one last stop before finally heading home. As per her request, the driver stopped and led Blair out to the main entrance of Parc Monceau, where a rotunda stands.

A mysterious elderly man with glasses and a gold Rolex watch, wearing a trench coat and fedora, held a suitcase and had been waiting for Blair for a while at the rotunda. As soon as he heard the familiar sound of heels clicking towards him, he need not to turn around to know who it was – his client.

"Ms. Waldorf, I found him."

Finally turning to face the woman who hired his P.I. services, he was met with a look of astonishment on the face of Blair Waldorf.

"Well Walter, where is he and what do you know?"

Blair hired Walter Chartres, a Private Investigator, two and a half weeks ago, when Chuck traveled to Shanghai on business, making good on her vow in finding Dan. She told Walter everything he needed to know about Dan and she even started by looking up recent posts on Gossip Girl to see if he had been spotted. There were no posts on Lonely Boy since he was spotted leaving for Italy with _Georgina_ that summer. It was like he had just fallen off the face of the Earth.

"He was actually a lot easier to find that we had originally thought, Ms. Waldorf. He is actually living here in Paris."

"WHAT? Are you serious, Walter? What are the odds? Why haven't I come across him? What else do you know?"

"He does some freelance writing and is trying to get a new novel published, and has apparently written a few articles for French newspaper _Le Monde_. He lives an alright life and has a condo close to the Opera House. He frequents a coffee shop named Café de Flore an-"

"Café de Flore? I go there all the time! Oh my god, why haven't I seen him there?"

"And… what I was about to say before you interrupted me, was that he often goes to Café de Flore with a woman by the name of Sienna. I have a folder of information and pictures for you to keep."

As soon as she heard the woman's name, Blair's heart sank all the way down to her feet. She was beyond crushed… and to mention that Humphrey finds a woman whose name closely resembled Serena or even Sabrina from _Inside_ for that matter… made her angrier than she should have been. As Walter was pulling out his file on Dan, she inwardly swore that she would go ballistic if this _Sienna_ character looked anything like the tall, leggy blonde that was Serena.

Staring blankly at the dossier on Dan Humphrey, she couldn't help but curse at how beautiful Sienna was – tall, leggy, though a red-head, but beautiful nonetheless. She silently commended Dan on his choice because she was clearly no Vanessa or Georgina.

Humphrey looked better than Blair remembered, starting with his hair. He finally got a decent haircut probably from the insistence of Sienna, removing most of his muppet hair, but leaving enough to still make him Brooklyn. He had a bit of a writer's scruff going on, making him a bit older but sexy as hell for a writer. He looked less pale and had more muscle on him that was definitely toned and sculpted at the gym.

Walter had left moments later to let the information soak in, so Blair Waldorf was left standing in the rotunda at Parc Monceau to a dossier of information and pictures on Dan Humphrey and Sienna. Walking back to her town car, Blair clenched to the dossier like a life-preserver, but took in the view of the park, which she loved. The park is unusual in France due to its "English" style: informal layout, curved walkways and randomly placed statues distinguish it from the more traditional, French-style garden, but lovely as always.

Upon returning home, Blair immediately went to her study and locked the dossier away in her filling cabinet amongst some work from Waldorf Designs. Without a moment to spare, Chuck's arms enveloped her waist in a calm fashion, leading Blair to believe he had calmed down considerably since this morning. She too had relaxed a bit knowing Humphrey lived in the same city as her, but couldn't help the pang of jealousy in the back of her mind and _heart _because of this _Sienna_ woman.

The day was long, filled with turbulence and surprises; Blair found Audrey in her crib sleeping soundly without too much damage done, though she could say otherwise for the house as Chuck explained the day's events. Blair tried to pay attention but she would need her sleep now, because she had to make a very important visit tomorrow.

The next day, Blair took Audrey in her stroller and went for a little field trip while Chuck played squash with an associate of his. They ended up standing in front of Dan Humphrey's condo building, which was listed on the dossier. The doorman watched them for several minutes; after much "persuading" (more like threatening), the doorman relented and let them in. So here Blair was, with her daughter, in front of an oak door with the condo number 864 displayed, her fingers hugging her written letter to Dan.

Blair stood frozen in place, the large door served as the barrier for what could be her (and his) dream or nightmare. She was thinking of leaving before anything could happen, but Blair Waldorf is no coward. She did not know what or who would be behind the door, but she needed to face this head on. So… with a deep breath and a glance to baby Audrey, she took a fist and flicked her wrist to knock, with sharpness to it.

_Once._

_Twice._

_Three times_.

For a moment all was quiet. There was no sound, not even a breath. To Blair, the silence was deafening. The air thick with tension.

Blair Waldorf standing in front of Dan Humphrey's home – what did she expect?

The door slowly opened to a surprise that neither Blair nor the individual behind the door had expected…


	4. Who is Really the Third Wheel?

**Hello fellow Dairers! I'm baaaaaccckkkk! LOL! NYC was cray crazy but amazin! YOLO! I got to spot the GG cast on two of their shooting days. The first I took pics of Blake Lively, Chace Crawford, and Barry Watson and got a group photo with Penn Badgley after his scene with Georgina (Sry, I forgot her name). The next day was all Ed Westwick and Leighton Meester photos. I stil don't know if I'm watching S6 especially since I'll be a University freshman, but all I know is that the ish is going down! If you want to know more about my NYC trip if it's GG or non-GG related, plz feel free to PM me! **

**Back to the story... some cray cray things are going down in this story as well, but I feel it is a bit rushed as I am tired and I was trying to get this new chapter up fairly fast for those hanging on for the ride. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own GG, but mistakes are mine! As always R&R plz! **

* * *

The door slowly opened to a surprise that neither Blair nor the individual behind the door had expected…

_Sienna._

"May I help you Ms.?"

Blair opened her mouth to try and form a coherent sentence, but the words just wouldn't come out.

Instead, she stood rooted in place looking at Sienna up and down. Those photos did not do her justice at all. Like the photos, Sienna is tall, leggy, and red-headed. Sienna spoke with an Italian accent that sounds so angelic. She is like the Italian red-headed version of the marvelous model Sienna Miller (which would mean Dan is Jude Law, not that she would _ever _tell him that).

As Blair finally got past at how beautiful Sienna was, it dawned on her – for the first time since she had left her home and called for the town car – she had no idea what to say. She was so hell-bent on finding Dan that she had neglected to take the time to figure out what she was going to say once she arrived. This was how beside herself she was, how far away from normal this whole mess had tossed her. Blair Waldorf without a plan.

"Is there something I can do for you?"

Sienna's voice pulled Blair out of her jumbled thoughts, which helped Blair muster up the courage to finally say something. With one hand on Audrey's stroller and the other clenching her letter to Dan with such intensity that her knuckles began to turn white, Blair blurted,

"I'm here to see Dan Humphrey."

"Umm… he's at work but he forgot some papers and is stopping by in a little while. Would you and your daughter like to wait for him inside with tea and crumpets Ms.…?"

"Waldorf. My name is Blair Waldorf."

"Okay. Hello my name is Sienna Vattani."

Stepping into Dan's home, Blair felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her because even after all these years and having been living across the pond, Dan still made his home feel and look like Brooklyn. From his dad's collection of guitars and the records hangings on the wall to even the tacky picture frames, and oh god, the flannel and plaid clothing that lazily laid on the sofa.

Sienna came back from the kitchen with a piping hot cup of tea and a side of crumpets, as Blair put her letter in her purse making a mental note of why she was at Dan's condo in the first place. Sienna wore a smile that seemed almost forced as her teeth gritted a bit. Blair thought Sienna was either really insecure in her relationship with Dan or that she was quite alert of a threat found in Blair, or maybe both even. Blair did not give this another thought though because she knew soon enough Sienna would be out of the picture and would no longer interfere between her and Dan.

"Look, I'm sorry for being blunt Blair, but who are you and how do you know my fiancé?"

"FIANCE?"

Blair nearly spat out her tea all over Sienna (which would've slightly pleased Blair) but it was just a millisecond to late as the tea scorched down her throat.

"Yes, Dan Humphrey is my _fiancé_. He actually proposed to me just last night."

Sienna emphasized on the word fiancé by lifting up her left hand, revealing the dazzling engagement ring that Dan picked out, which nearly blinded Blair as it glistened where the sun shone.

_Not bad Humphrey. Not bad at all._

"I didn't mean to intrude it's just that… Dan and I were old friends and I learned that he lives in Paris, as do I, so I just wanted to catch up on old times."

Sienna didn't seem to buy her story, though for Blair it was kind of the truth, but Sienna let it slide. From there, the two made small chit chat, mostly about how adorable Audrey was, but for the most part of the wait, it was spent in awkward silence with the occasional cry from Audrey trying to break the odd tension.

"Would you like more tea, Bl-"

"Babe, I'm home! Where's my sexy as hell Sienna, who happens to be my Italian fiancé?"

At the sound of Dan's gruff and sexy voice booming throughout the condo, Blair had to contain herself from running into his arms as she was sitting across the counter from Dan's fiancé.

"We are in the kitchen Dan. There is someone here looking for you."

"_We_? Well if it's Mrs. Parnell, tell her I didn't mean to knock over her antique vase the last time I visited and that I will pay for all of the expen-"

_There he was finally, after all this time._

Blair had to catch her breath at the sight of him and she noticed that Dan did the same. They spent a very intimate moment just staring into each other's eyes, each drinking in the sight of the other. Blair noticed how relaxed Humphrey seemed and like his letter to her had said, he no longer felt bitter about their circumstances. Still locking eyes, they were finally pulled away by the obvious and very unsubtle throat clearing by Sienna who looked lost and uncomfortable as if she were the third wheel in _their_ relationship. Sienna's throat clearing set off a chain of events as Audrey began to start wailing.

"Is this your daughter, Blair? She looks just like you."

Walking towards the stroller, Dan asked "Do you mind if I hold her Blair, maybe I can calm her down?"

"Well normally I would say no, but you are a friend. Though only a select few are able to calm Audrey dow-"

She was proven wrong before finishing her sentence as Dan held Audrey close, soothing her back, and was out like a light. Dan seemed like a natural with her daughter; he would be an amazing father, he did take care of Milo for a summer, after all. Blair, seeing Dan with Audrey made her think of those thoughts of wanting Dan to really be Audrey's father, in which she wrote in her letter.

_Oh crap. The letter._

After slowly putting a sleeping Audrey back in her stroller, Dan turned back to Sienna and Blair and could only say,

"Hi Blair."

His voice was sweet, which matched the look on his face, and was not at all what she had expected from him, but at least he was not hurting, well not visibly, at least. So she returned his tone with hers.

"Hi Cabbage Patch."

"Cabbage Patch?"

"Yeah, it's a nickname of mine. Look, Sienna, do you mind if I have a moment alone with Blair."

"Sure, I'll take a shower I guess. Maybe the three of us could have dinner some time to catch up. Don't forget your papers and have a good rest of the day okay, babe."

With a sweet kiss, in which Blair had to shyly turn off to the side to, Sienna left and now it was just her and Humphrey.

"Blair, first off, how did you find me? Second, why are you here?"

"I may or may not have hired a PI to find you. And to answer your second question, I missed my Cabbage Patch friend. Now that I'm here, I don't really know what else to say, except that I have to give you an important letter that I wrote that says everything I want to say."

Taking the loaded letter from Blair's fingers, their hands grazed and the two looked at each other longingly, but only for a split second as Dan caught sight of Blair's engagement ring, throwing a bucket of ice water on whatever fire was spreading between them.

"Seriously Blair, you basically called a manhunt on me just to hand over a fucking letter!"

The boom in Dan's voice startled Blair; she hadn't seen Dan like this since, well not since she chose Chuck over him. But she would not let him get the upper hand, not today, and certainly not after all of these years; her own temper was starting to flare as Dan's self-righteous façade was covering up the bullshit he was hiding.

"Humphrey, stop with the self-righteous act, trying to make others beneath your pedestal because we both know it didn't work then, and it is certainly not working now!"

"Oh please Blair, do enlighten me with your all-knowing wisdom of me. You were never one to shy away from the unbridled truth, so why start now!"

Clearly, he spoke with sarcasm dripping from his voice and the added eye roll emphasized his obvious distain.

"You know what… never mind… I don't want to know and I don't have to explain anything to you either because we haven't crossed paths in nearly two years! I need to get back to work; I just had to pick up some papers. You've seen me now and have met my fiancé, so I suggest taking Audrey back to that huge mansion I know Chuck spoiled you with!"

Blair turned around to face Audrey still sleeping soundly in her stroller and groaned in frustration just as Dan slammed the door shut behind him. In his haste, Dan accidently let the letter flutter to the ground, hidden by a batch of his flannel clothes.

It seems Sienna has perfect timing, as she strolled out from her shower towards Blair, who was busily getting ready to leave, as she had done what she had planned on doing with her visit.

"Okay, Blair, I have no idea who you are and what exactly you are doing here, but I just heard my fiancé slam the door, which he has never done before. So I advise you to please take your things and leave and hopefully not come around again to disturb us again. You have a newborn to take care of and I have a wedding to plan, and by the looks of your left hand I suggest you do the same."

With a daring glare to Sienna that could melt steel, Blair left, purposely flipping her brunette locks in Sienna's face, not realizing Audrey's stroller drove right past her letter that lay on the ground.

Once Blair left, Sienna thought,

_Who the hell is this Blair Waldorf? Why does she think she can just waltz into mine and Dan's home with a baby girl like she owns the place? And why does she seem to get under Dan's skin? Whoever she is, she will never come in between me and Dan, especially once we get happily married and have our own kids!_

Picking up some of Dan's clothes that he likes to leave on the floor, Sienna comes across a blue envelope with Dan's name written on it.

_Oh this Blair bitch better watch her back!_

Sitting on the couch, Sienna played with the envelope in her fingers, contemplating her next move.

_Will she open it….?_

* * *

**Cue the drum roll...so will Sienna open the letter? Your guess is about as good as mine! If you have any complaints, criticisms, or suggestions, let this Hungryeater know plz! **


	5. Where Doth that Letter Be?

**Hello! I know this is updated a lot sooner than I thought because I usually update on a weekly basis, but I couldn't help myself! I'm patting myself on the back right now! I'm so proud of myself because this is the longest chapter yet because I was in the zone. Anyways, I noticed that barely any reviews were left for the previous chapter. Was it really that bad? I'm sorry! But I have this theory that helped me work on this amazing chapter on overdrive. If I post this chapter sooner, than maybe more reviews will pour in, hopefully! I'm crossing my fingers! Even if there are little reviews out there though, I'm still continuing this fic, so don't worry for those who read, but are too shy to review! (I'm sometimes like that myself!) **

**Still don't own GG or Dair, but I will own up to my mistakes! As always R&R plz!**

**There are two songs featured in this chapter, "Heartbreak Coverup" by Jesse Labelle & Alyssa Reid (Canadian artists), that is full of heartache and "Words I Couldn't Say" by Leighton Meester, herself, basically what the title implies. Leighton's song is from the movie _Country Strong_, which I have not seen but heard the soundtrack on itunes and instantly fell in love with this track. She is a good country singer and I think she is awesome! **

* * *

Dan, who had rushed out of his condo like Flash, made it back to his glass windowed office and sat on his brown leather chair taking slow steadying breaths. Swiveling his seat around, he began staring hopelessly through his window into the abyss that is the Paris landscape with a pale, blank face. He continues to stare out to the city as if an epiphany would somehow occur and solve his current predicament. After minutes of complete and utter nothingness, Dan's eyes revert to the stack of papers that he picked up from home that now sat on his desk, carelessly in disarray.

When he came face to face with Blair Waldorf about 20 minutes ago, it was like he saw a ghost. Out of all the people from the UES that he could have come across in his new and much improved life, it had to be _her_ than haunted him. She was sitting on a bar stool in the home he built with his fiancé, whom she sat across from, sipping daintily on her cup of tea, as if Blair did not destroy him then uproot her whole life to be with that **Basstard**.

Upon seeing Blair, the only thoughts that ran through Dan's mind was that she still looked as lovely as ever and knew that would never change, no matter her age. Dan acknowledged that he did share a private moment with her as they locked eyes, but quickly filed that away as shock and nothing else.

Getting so lost in his thoughts of the past and present, Dan didn't even realize that his right leg was shaking at a hysterical pace and that he was absentmindedly fidgeting with a special figurine that sat on his desk. No, this miniature and antique figurine of a young boy slaving away on a typewriter was not a gift from Sienna, but from Blair Waldorf herself.

When Blair gifted the figurine to him, Dan was speechless, which was a rarity for him as everyone knew he was such a rambler, as the figure quickly became a sentimental value of his. But he would always laugh like a hyena at that memory because he would never let it down that Blair Waldorf stepped into an antique shop and bought a figure for her Brooklyn boy. When they were supposedly finished though, he savagely grabbed the figurine from his room, which oddly weighed a lot heavier than normal, and nearly hurled it at the wall with all of his force, wanting to watch it shatter into pieces on the floor, like his heart, but he just didn't have the cold heart like Blair to do so. In fact, he kept the figurine and when he was hired at _Le Monde_, that figurine would be the very first thing he sat on his desk. His coworkers who stopped by and congratulated him seemed to adore the miniature antique. They even tried to coax Dan into telling them where he found it and each time his answer would be the same.

_It was a gift from somebody that I used to know._

The figurine had actually been broken once. Sienna accidently knocked it off his desk one day after an impromptu _"stress reliever"_ with Dan. As the figure fell to the floor, the boy's head broke off clean, like a decapitation. Sienna was plagued with guilt almost immediately and offered to get it fixed or better yet, buy him something else that resembled it. As soon as she offered, Dan, in a tone that sounded harsher than he would've like it to be, explained that he would get it fixed himself and that nothing could replace it. He had lied to Sienna and said the figure was a going away gift from his father, when in actuality, it was from the woman he gifted his heart to and in return she brutally battered him emotionally and left him to fend for himself.

Again, Dan was lost in memories but this time he managed to shake himself out of it before his memories would let him venture to those he stowed away long ago. At that moment, he suddenly remembered the purpose for Blair's visit… she needed to hand deliver an important letter to him… and that he reacted by scolding her. That moment, with Blair boring her big brown doe-eyes at Dan, peering deep into his eyes all the way down to his soul, while spurting insults that mask her insecurities… that's what did Dan in. He nearly forgot about the past couple of years and just wanted to envelop Blair in his arms and cup her face for a slow smoldering kiss, reiterating his love for her the way he declared it to her in his letter… but of course that did not happen, because he couldn't, shouldn't, and wouldn't let that happen. Dan likes to think what could've been and that's what hurts the most, like a punch to the gut that is so forceful you can feel and hear the bones breaking inside your body.

Dan frantically searched through all of the papers at his desk five times, but he couldn't seem to find that blue envelope. He wanted to know what Blair had written and why she was so pressed to hand it over to him, but it just wasn't there and he couldn't believe it!

He decided to call Sienna at home to see if she had any luck finding it, but it went to voicemail. He left her a message leaving out the fact that the envelope was from the woman who made him storm out of the condo earlier; instead, he said it was from his sister, Jenny.

* * *

Sienna, still with the blue envelope in her hand, heard the phone ring but couldn't be bothered to pick it up because her other hand was being used to hold a glass of red wine that was filled to the brim. She heard Dan's voice on the other end, leaving a message inquiring about the envelope but could hear the lie in his voice about the sender being Jenny, when they both know Blair Waldorf wrote it.

She's had about a full bottle now and is drunkenly staring at this envelope. With one last gulp to finish off her glass, she thinks _to hell with it_ and finally opens it. Her eyes flick left to right all the way down, inspecting the delicate writing and more importantly, the heartfelt words. Finishing the letter, Sienna, filled with wine and ire, wanted to rampage through the house but knew that wouldn't solve anything… she knew better. So she needed to somehow ensure Dan would not leave her and to somehow exterminate the pest, known as Blair Waldorf. Instead of ripping up the letter to shreds, she placed it back in the envelope and hid it in a box that held her fiery red Christian Louboutins heels. She needed to knock Blair down a few pegs and teach her a very valuable lesson, in messing with her and Dan, when clearly Blair has her own life to live.

* * *

Still galloping around his desk like a madman searching for the letter, Dan's face falls flat as he figures that letter, whatever is written on it, may or may not be a defining moment in his life. As he loses hope in finding that all important letter, his coworker and good friend, Brady stops by.

"Dan, married life hasn't started for you yet, so why do you seem so stressed out? Is the pressure of planning for the future getting to you, because if it is, than I'm sorry to say that it won't get any easier from here on out. Trust me, I know!"

"No, not at all Brady! But thanks for the wise but highly unnecessary advice."

"Ouch! Really Dan, you threw an eraser at me! We are not school kids anymore, so throwing things at me is no longer acceptable."

"Says the guy who whines after being hit with an eraser. Now who's acting childish?"

"That's beside the point and you know it. Besides even if we were still kids, you usually throw things at the boy or girl you're crushing on. And in all honesty Dan, you're not really my type because I have a thing for fun-loving blondes who… well… have a lot of junk inside their trunk, that seems to get me drunk, which clearly isn't you Dan. And I do have a wife remember? Her name is Evangeline and she's a sm-"

"And she's a smoking hot, fun-loving blonde, I know Brady. I set the two of you up for success rem-..Wait... Did you just deride me using lyrics from 'My Humps'?"

"Did you just understand that reference to that Black Eyed Peas song?"

"Whatever, that's not the point! Anyways, I'm kind of freaking out because I've totally dropped an envelope that could either be my sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare, from a certain feisty brunette that I have mentioned to you before."

"Okay we really need to drop references to chart-topping songs, but nice choice with Beyoncé though. Even after giving birth, Beyoncé is still _fine._ Back to you though… Dan, you're engaged…to Sienna… who is an amazing woman and really, in all honesty, if you let her go and if I weren't married, I'd tap that in a heartbeat. So Dan my point is, you are in a good place in your life and my question is why are you beating yourself up over a letter written by this Blair Waldorf that you describe as and I quote, "a 95 pound package of girly evil" that once had your heart but left it shattered all over your loft floor? Seriously dude, I'm normally not the voice of reason because it's the other way around with us, but speaking from a man that had been once tempted to go off the path of marriage, IT'S NOT WORTH IT!"

"Yeah! I think you're right…for once, Brady! I really needed that wake-up call, thanks man."

"It's no problem, but don't think I didn't get that backhanded insult. Look I've got to go, but before I do, Evangeline is stopping by and she and I are going out for drinks, and after this conversation I strongly believe you need one too. Feel free to bring Sienna, but I think you should go solo on this one. Don't worry, Evangeline and I won't make you feel like a third wheel… much."

"Sure I'll go, let me just call Sienna and I'll meet you outside the building."

As Dan dials Sienna, he takes another eraser and chucks it at Brady as he turns the corner from his office and he can hear Brady laughing all the way down the hall because of it.

This time, Sienna picks up and he informs her of his plans and invites her. Sienna turns him down though because she feels a bit lightheaded and although Dan offers to stay home and pamper her, she dismisses him and says to have a nice night with Brady and Evangeline. Once the two hang up, Dan, though he never wants to admit it, was secretly glad she declined, so that Dan could get all of his thoughts clearly in check without his fiancé hovering around him. What Brady said to him seemed to have stuck and resonated with him, because after all, the letter had come from Blair Waldorf, so how much truth would that letter really hold. He needs to move on… _he has_… so why is it that the mere mention of Blair made his body tingle and rise with heat.

_God, why did Blair have to show up in my life once again? More importantly, why does it seem like she still has a strong hold over me?_

* * *

After a couple drinks at a local bar that Brady and Dan normally hang out at, Dan felt looser than he had in a while. The three would buy a round of drinks, laugh, drink, laugh, and order another round and laugh some more. This night in particular was amateur talent night, where anyone who wanted there few minutes of fame could go onstage and do as they please. Normally, Brady would sing a song or two with Evangeline and then offer Dan, who would decline immediately with a laugh, but not tonight. He felt loose and good, so why the hell not, right? After downing his shot, Dan strode onstage confident as ever and much to the surprise of everyone, he sang… brilliantly. Though many were surprised by Dan's song choice, Brady understood perfectly why he made his song choice.

_It's just another lonely night  
They happen all the time  
Now that you're not around.  
Like picking up a loaded gun  
Holding the telephone  
And I should put it down._

_Watching you walk away_  
_Even though I know I never should have let you out of sight_  
_I play the game even though I go up in flames and I'm burning down tonight._

_You keep from me, but I'm drowning and slowly sinking in a bottle of patron.  
I can't let go-oh oooooh I can't let go, so_

_It's just another lonely night_  
_They happen all the time_  
_Now that you're not around._  
_Like picking up a loaded gun_  
_Holding the telephone_  
_And I should put it down._  
_It's just another wasted call full of alcohol,_  
_Another night I know that I won't recall,_  
_And it's never enough, it's another heartbreak cover-up._

_It's there beneath all the shattered, broken pieces I've been trying to let go-oh._  
_Hiding away in the places to see distant faces of the love you used to know, oh._  
_To keep from me and I'm spinning, I feel like dying, I got one foot on the floor_  
_I can't let go-oh, oooooh I can't let go, so_

_It's just another lonely night_  
_They happen all the time_  
_Now that you're not around._  
_Like picking up a loaded gun_  
_Holding the telephone_  
_And I should put it down._  
_It's just another wasted call full of alcohol,_  
_Another night I know that I won't recall,_  
_And it's never enough, it's another heartbreak cover-up._

_It's another heartache, mistake, waiting for the rain after the knife_  
_Cause crying won't be enough to brush the blood after the fighting,_  
_You see the pain I'm feeling,_  
_Isn't less, than the moment till I get you mine I'm still standing until I call the fight._

_It's just another lonely night_  
_They happen all the time_  
_Now that you're not around._  
_Like picking up a loaded gun_  
_Holding the telephone_  
_And I should put it down._  
_It's just another wasted call full of alcohol,_  
_Another night I know that I won't recall,_  
_And it's never enough, it's another heartbreak cover-up._

_It's just another wasted call full of alcohol,_  
_Another night I know that I won't recall,_  
_And it's never enough, it's another heartbreak cover-up._

When Dan finished, he fumbled off stage to which everyone gave applauses, including Brady and Evangeline. After high-fiving almost everyone at the bar, the three left in order to drop Dan home. As they began to leave, Dan thought his eyes were deceiving him, as he saw a mirage of Blair Waldorf standing in the corner all by her lonesome with a drink in her hand. Dan brushed this thought off though and felt he had a lot more alcohol than he should have… it was going to be a rough morning with this nasty hangover.

In reality though, Dan was witnessing no delusion, no mirage, because Blair Waldorf _really_ was standing in the same bar that Dan had just rocked out on, in the corner by herself, with a strong drink in hand.

* * *

After leaving Sienna in a huff, Blair and baby Audrey returned home to find Chuck slurring his words on the sofa with a near empty bottle of Cristal in tow. He kept bitching about a deal that didn't go through which started a yelling match between her and Chuck. Not wanting to go through their vicious and toxic cycle once again, Blair left again with Audrey, but not before sneaking in the portfolio all on Dan, to the inside of her coat. Audrey was dropped off with Eleanor and Cyrus seeing as they had spent not enough time with their granddaughter. Blair walked along the streets where she ended up by a pond that made her think of her duck pond back home in New York. Sitting on the bench, she pulled out the file and looked over each point that Walter took down, over and over again.

She found out that he likes to go to a bar with a friend of his not far from where she was now. For some reason, she took a chance to see if they had shown up at the bar this evening… and she was absolutely correct. She watched Dan rock out on stage in astoundment, like she knew his father had many years ago, but her heart broke as she listened to the lyrics he sang. Blair watched him leave, wondering if he had spotted her or not. After she made sure Dan and his friends were gone, Blair took another chance and decided to go onstage and sing her heart out herself, in response to Dan's song.

_In a book, in a box, in the closet  
In a line, in a song I once heard  
In a moment on a front porch late one June  
In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon_

_There it was at the tips of my fingers_  
_There it was on the tip of my tongue_  
_There you were and I had never been that far_  
_There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms_

_And I let it all slip away_

_What do I do now that you're gone_  
_No backup plan, no second chance_  
_And no one else to blame_  
_All I can hear in the silence that remains_  
_Are the words I couldn't say_

_There's a rain that will never stop fallin'_  
_There's a wall that I tried to take down_  
_What I should have said just wouldn't pass my lips_  
_So I held back and now we've come to this_

_And it's too late now_

_What do I do now that you're gone_  
_No backup plan, no second chance_  
_And no one else to blame_  
_All I can hear in the silence that remains_  
_Are the words I couldn't say_

_I should have found the way to tell you how I felt_  
_Now the one I'm telling is myself_

_What do I do now that you're gone_  
_No backup plan, no second chance_  
_And no one else to blame_  
_All I can hear in the silence that remains_  
_Are the words I couldn't say_

_What do I do now that you're gone_  
_No backup plan, no second chance_  
_And no one else to blame_  
_All I can hear in the silence that remains_  
_Are the words I couldn't say_

_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No backup__ plan, no second chance  
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear in the silence that remains  
Are the words I couldn't say_

By the end of the night, Blair laid her head on Eleanor's lap and held Audrey close to her, as she cried a river to sleep. She felt somewhat closer to Dan after singing onstage, but knew there was really no progress made. She just wondered if he had read her letter…

* * *

Sienna crawled into her bed, replaying what Blair had written in her emotional letter to Dan. Sienna, having the house to herself, researched everything little thing on Blair, from Gossip Girl to Inside to anything other source, and was flabbergasted at what she found out about Blair Waldorf. This Queen B was a schemer of all sorts, but Sienna needed to outscheme the schemer in order to keep Dan away from Blair's claws, especially since Dan already took a liking to little Audrey. Sienna knew only one person who could tell Blair where her place was, so before going to bed, Sienna made an important call…

* * *

Sienna was fast asleep by the time Dan shuffled into bed. He had way too much to drink this evening, even imagining Blair at the bar… _how crazy is that?_ Dan instantly collapsed on the bed, but felt Sienna stir and hoped he did not wake her. He didn't, which was good, but Dan couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt because his last thoughts before having sleep drift over him was not of Sienna, his fiancé, but of Blair, the woman who destroyed him, but also, the only true love of his life. He still hadn't found her letter but he needed to know what she wrote…


	6. Confrontation

_Hi! Sorry for the delay! I've been dealing with some pretty heavy stuff in my personal life as of late and as much as I want to punch, kick, scream, throw, and break things… I can't! In order to vent my frustrations, I use a different outlet and like Dan, writing is my medium, it's very therapeutic. This chapter will heavily feature Dan and Blair really clawing into each other. Their dialogue will be quite long. Dan may seem quite harsh, but that's what I kind of want to see from Dan, it's only been about 2 years so the wound is still pretty fresh, and I'm putting my own emotional turmoil into his characterization, as well. The next chapter will focus on Sienna, and I know there are a lot of Sienna haters out there (which was the plan because what can I say, I'm a Dair girl at heart), but bear with me on this. For those of you wondering where the other character are, like Chuck, Serena, Nate, and even Vanessa (I like her, plz don't hate), don't fret because they will all be making their appearances soon. All in due time… all in due time. Thank you as always for all the support that keeps me motivated. As always R&R plz! Mistakes are mine!_

* * *

Groggily stepping out of the elevator, Dan was still suffering from the world's worst headache ever. His morning only got shittier due to the stampede of security personnel trying to calm down some woman howling and hollering her head off.

"…Get your disgusting, germ-infested hands off of me! Do you know how many times I'd have to shower in order to wash off your filthiness? I'll probably have to call the Health Department to inspect this God-forsaken building! "Juste parce-que tes femmes ne vous donnez rien, il n'ya pas d'excuses de me toucher. Surtout depuis que vous êtes gardien de sécurité!" * Do you know who I am? I run Waldorf Designs… I'm Blair Waldorf! I am here to see Dan Humphrey! I will see him, even if I have to tell all of your wives that you've been participating in _"activities"_ that go beyond security training."

Rounding the corner, he did not see the woman's face, but Dan didn't have to in order to know that the only woman that dare utter threats like that would be… _Blair Waldorf_. Dan stopped dead in his tracks at the sound of that distinguishable voice. _Her_ voice.

Quickly turning on his heel, Dan managed to shove past the mafia of guards to firmly tug on Blair's arm to help her break free from the chaos.

"Zayne, Jacque … I'm really sorry for this inconvenience but I can take over. Ms. Waldorf _here_," accenting the here by jerking on Blair's arm and speaking through gritted teeth "came by for a chat with me but I guess she must have forgotten to make an appointment."

The two speedily traversed down the hall to Dan's office, wasting no time at all to observe the mess Blair had made and Dan having to rescue her, once again. Blair tried to look at the office surroundings but to no avail with Dan forcefully yanking her along. Dan on the other hand, dismissed the looks and murmurs of his fellow colleagues as he only knew how odd the picture looked. Dan, in rapid pace, is dragging along a beautiful woman to his office, who was _certainly_ not his fiancé. God knows what's circulating the rumor mill at this point.

As soon as they finally made it into Dan's office, Dan immediately let go of Blair's arm. Although neither would admit it, both were slightly disappointed at the loss of contact. Dan chalked that moment as nothing in his head but his body seemed to betray him a bit, having reacted embarrassingly below the belt. With the annoyance of Blair's sudden reappearance into his life, Dan felt the need to go on the offensive as he shut his office door.

When he turned around, Dan found Blair fully immersed in observing his spacious office. Her eyes examine the cherry desk that seems almost superfluous, since there's little to no paperwork to be seen. She awes at his deep burgundy leather desk chair, which reclines to an almost obscene angle. She notes and makes a dig that there are only two small table lamps - one near the door atop a wicker table that clashes with the rest of the room's executive motif, and another on the cherry wood desk with a long brass pull-cord. The absence of overhead light casts shadows into the corners, spilling under the desk and over top the framed black-and-white pictures on the wall. And she scoffs at the absurdity of the deep purple curtains that had been drawn to one side, allowing the light from outside the eight story window to paint the eastern wall. It highlights a lone filing cabinet, suspiciously locked and coated in dust. Those same colored curtains were also drawn on his windows that out looked to his coworkers' offices. Dan took the opportunity to situate the curtains to block the windows from his peers that he knew were lurking around for a viewing party.

As Blair surveys his office, Dan inspects Blair and her motives. Physically, Blair hasn't changed much, which isn't necessarily a bad thing to invade Dan's thought process. Dan, who has a knack with the written word, likes to go beyond the physical, in terms of beauty… but he does appreciate it. To him, being pretty is entirely conceptual. Beauty is an abstract thing that cannot be described in words, as it means different things to different people. As cliché as it may sound, beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Blair's brunette locks continuously flow down her back with shine and bounce that seemed to turn Dan into a trance, as he liked her hair best when it was down, showing a playful yet sexy look. She would always unknowingly fix her hair in his presence and today she did not disappoint. Her flawless alabaster skin was highlighted by the vibrant, dramatic, and daring little red cocktail dress she wore. The raven-black belt with a sliver of polished gold that hugged her waist almost effortlessly was a nice touch, too. What made the outfit complete and stand out to Dan were her heels. A woman's pair of heels was always Dan's kryptonite. Blair strutted around his office, like she owned the place, in a pair of Manolo Blahniks. They were shiny patent leather, fire-truck red, platform heels that went sky high. Her face showed determination but he could sense a slight hesitance in her features. The rest of her demeanor was as feisty as ever, which slightly turned him on. Overall, Blair glowed like a picture-perfect princess… sans tiara though. With that observation, it brought back the memory of him adorning her head with a plastic tiara on the Met steps, the last time they were visibly blissful with each other. That would make him mentally kick himself for the rest of the day, for even bringing up that memory in the first place.

He could only imagine what subjects would be brought up in this exchange of theirs. As if she knew he was staring at her, especially at her legs, longer than an ex should… she decided to clear the air by speaking first, using her fake sugary sweet voice to underlie her true emotions. To anyone else, it would seem that Blair was genuinely congratulating Dan, but to those close to her…they knew better.

"Well look at you Mr. Big-time, you're working an office job that requires you to wear a suit and tie! Oh… I see you've kept the figurine I had given you. Frankly, I expected it to be broken and forgotten."

"I'll have you know it was a close call." In a more serious tone, Dan bluntly conveys his displeasure with her. "Well, I guess Congratulations are in order, when will it be on page six? What do I refer you as now? Is it supposed to be Mrs. Waldorf-Bass or my favorite… Mrs. Blair Bass?"

"I'm still planning to be Blair Waldorf, if you must know. You know what, speaking of page six, I should go ask your boss to personally have you cover the wedding of the century… just to torture you like I did back in high school. Wouldn't that be nice Dan, for old time's sake? Dan's stomach churned at the sight of Blair's signature devious smirk… because no one enjoys torturing others the way Blair Waldorf does… well maybe with the exception of Chuck.

"What the hell do you hope to accomplish by being here Blair? I can't believe you…you have the _audacity _of waltzing up to my place of employment and cause a scene by either terrifying the guards by spewing threats or by batting your eyelashes in order to speak with me! I don't even know why I'm so surprised. You haven't changed…you're still scheming your way into my life, I see! You probably found out I work here thanks to your friend the PI, am I right?"

"Yes, I did" says Blair matter-of-factly as if it were the most obvious answer. "Well I did visit you at home but you wouldn't talk!"

"_Because there's nothing to say!_ By the way, you showed up at the condo unannounced and uninvited. Sienna had every right to slam the door on your face but being the amazing woman she is, she let you in. That is one of the many reasons why I love her."

"Well she isn't as rainbows and butterflies as you'd think Dan because she ended up throwing me out… right after you stormed off, to be exact. If I hadn't brought Audrey with me, she would have gladly man-handled me out the door! Instead, Sienna just gave a cryptic message to stay away from the two of you, to give way to your saccharine sweet marriage."

"Well kudos to Sienna then! You should have listened Blair. You know Waldorf, I find our predicament quite hilarious and ironic because when we were together, I would have done anything to have kept you by my side but you left me without so much as a proper goodbye to run back to that _**Basstard**_. Now, when I want you to leave me the hell alone, you keep showing up and don't intend on leaving!"

"You're right! I don't intend on leaving… because after everything you are still the only person who knows me, and I mean _really_ knows me… and seems to accept it! By the way, did you happen to read my letter?"

"Ha! No one can tell me that Blair Waldorf doesn't make jokes! As for the letter, I burnt it in the fireplace without even opening it" He lied to Blair as he didn't want to notify her that he actually lost the letter and had scrambled to find it because he actually planned on reading it.

When Dan admitted he burnt the letter without so much as opening it and taking a quick glance… it tore Blair apart. Maybe he really is moving on from her… with _Sienna_… so maybe she should suck it up and do the same with Audrey and Chuck.

"Blair, I really thought I knew you, with all of your greatness and flaws… and I…I tried to accept them as best I could for as long as I could… but…"

"But what Dan?" Of course Blair had to cut him. "_Please_ tell me how you _really_ feel." She just needed to punctuate that sentence with her trademark eye roll, didn't she?

It was hard to remain impassive, but it was harder not to say anything.

"But nothing! What do you want Blair? I have a limited amount of time to talk and I'm not planning to waste my breath all on y-"

"I miss _you_. I miss my _best friend_. _I'm…I'm sorry. _The hardest lesson to learn in life is which bridges to cross and which to burn… and I know I've burnt ours in order to cross Chuck's, but I really hope we can slowly rebuild our friendship."

Scrutinizing how genuine her admission was, Dan was clearly not buying what she was intending to sell.

"Well, you'll be hoping for the rest of your life then because that ain't happening… I can't even believe that you think it's possible to return to our witty banter as if you did not destroy me and leave me for that _**Basshole**_! Do you really think I'm easier to be played on than a pipe? Are you here just to absolve your guilt? To be exonerated? If I really was your best friend, like you say you miss, you wouldn't have done what you did to me. Don't say that you miss me when you were the one who ran away. And don't apologize for making me watch you walk away, because that one's on me. Can you give me a straight answer as to why you returned to him…hmmm? And don't give me a half-baked answer like YOLO, you only live once!" By this time, Dan was venomously spewing out his words, his tone jarring himself and Blair; from there they both knew it was only going to get worse.

"Yes I ran! Do you know why I left? Sometimes I'm scared of you and that I'll never be enough in your eyes, like all of my suitors before… that we'd be like all those other couples in the world who weren't equal. Instead there would always be a submissive party and a dominating party, you and me, respectively. Foul is fair and fair is foul. What's done cannot be undone. But all I really want is to hold you tight, treat you right, and be with you day and night. And that's the truth!" Blair says matching Dan's tone with a spiteful one of her own.

She said it with so much conviction that it almost seemed to convince Dan himself. "How dare you use the word _**'truth'**_ as your justification for anything that comes out of your mouth, Blair? How's the view from your mountain of lies… because on the ground the view… sucks! Stop making this all about _you!_ I do applaud the performance you gave in your well-rehearsed, dare I say, memorized monologue, though. A couple of spotlights here and there, a few tears strolling down your cheeks… there wouldn't be a dry eye out there, you could fool anybody in the room….except me."

"Your accusations are only making you sound pathetic, Humphrey. I left… I admit that, but you know what, so did you! You left and moved far away, granted, you were exiled, but you ran, too! You think you're so morally superior to everyone else, don't you? You think you're some big intellectual savior of the masses, especially now that you work in this building for a French newspaper, am I right? Wasn't sleeping with Serena or writing your pathetic novel, _Cast Out_ enough for you?"

"That's what was great about us. We weren't like everyone else… we were equals in the relationship… at least… I thought we were. I couldn't handle it anymore though, and I knew I'd hurt you, the way you hurt me, by touching on _your_ insecurities… the biggest one being Serena. You put on a mask with all your make-up in order to hide yourself from your insecurities. You have always been envious of everything she does, so it was a no brainer that of the women to sleep with, I chose Serena. As for_ Cast Out_, the critics threw the book at Chuck and Blair's relationship; it was an abomination to them and I feel the same way."

"Well… we really should get everything out in the open then Dan, get it over with. We need to hash this out now and get down to the nitty gritty of your bitterness."

"**Wow**… _my_ bitterness! Fine! If you insist! Where would you like me to start? Ohhh… I know… I became so engulfed with the UES and _you_ that I didn't who I was anymore… I hated the man I became because of it… I was drowning in your world and do you know why I did it? I stupidly gave myself up for what I believed was love."

"_Puh…leez!_ Stop wallowing in your self-pity Dan, it's not very becoming of you. Besides, you squirmed your way in to the UES, like the way your sister _tried_, like an insect squirming for its life before my Manolo Blahniks ended their misery, or have you forgotten that already?"

"Leave Jenny out of this!"

"Sure… doing your duty as a protective older brother, right? Go on… what else do you want to say that needs to get off your chest so badly."

"You put a seed of doubt in my mind and exploited my one nagging insecurity about our relationship: me feeling and thinking like I was just a fun rebound, an interlude, a stopover even… before I made you stronger in order to run back to being the inevitable couple. You may never admit it Blair, but I was your consolation prize until you found strength to bet your heart all in, once and for all… to Chuck. Now that you've captured him, what will happen now? I really hope your lives together are marred with misery. If _"Happy Ever After"_ did exist, my arms would still be wrapped around you, but all those fairy tales are full of shit. And If I hear one more fucking love song on the radio, I'll be sick."

"Just stop being the douchebag you currently are Dan and stop with the ranting or ramblings… or whatever the hell you call them! I won't believe that you've changed into some sort of ass! Not you of all people! What happened to the Daniel Humphrey I'd feel safe and secure with and lean my head against his shoulder when I drift off? If you see him… tell him to make a reappearance ASAP because I'm not a fan of this version! I am not here to stroke your ego while you judge everyone else and let them crucify for their mistakes!"

"That's…that's rich Blair! You think I've changed… why don't you have a doctor examine you first before you decide to harp all over me?! Do you know that it _killed_ me that I had to become that guy… that guy that needed to give an ultimatum just to know where he stood with his girl? You know you've never lied to me. All those years in high school….all those years you **HATED** me…you never lied. So, I'm sorry but I'm done listening to all of your bullshit, Blair. I hold a cold and pure anger towards you, Blair Waldorf. I am not the sensitive Humphrey I once was that everyone could lean on as an emotional crutch… at least not to you or the rest of the UES."

"God, why are you so prissy? Are you PMSing or something?"

"You were always a woman craving power and I stood by you with no questions asked… and that's my fault."

"You never asked questions because you were just so desperate to be an elite lap dog, following us around… wanting to be on the inside."

"Maybe so, but even the most loyal dog can only take so many kicks."

Blair could not believe that the Williamsburg Weasel was getting to her so much.

"You're in love with a masochistic moron who is a failure in the eyes of both his father and uncle… and even his mother who deserted him!"

"Says the sadist anxiously awaiting to be awarded with a Pulitzer Prize. It'll never happen if you keep writing insignificant fiction of a brooding lonely boy falling helplessly in love with the girl from the other side of the tracks, trying to forge a forbidden love amidst controversy. Even fanfiction writers and readers could tell you that! I don't even know why you're an author because you're a clueless prick with mediocre words. Stop trying to degrade me with your snide remarks… I am an independent woman who was not compelled into making my decision!"

He had listened to her without any interruption, watching her with his dark brown eyes intently. She found his silence offensive, but then he finally spoke.

"Oh… here comes the '_I am a strong woman'_ anthem… do enlighten me Blair. You look up to strong, powerful women such as Michelle Obama, Hilary Clinton and Audrey Hepburn, but look at yourself in the mirror; you are a terrible representation of all females."

"'Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot.' That's what you gave me Dan… confidence. I owe you a lot for that so I'm trying to return the favor. I know that you've _supposedly_ moved on with Sienna"

"I have!"

"But it's apparent with our bickering that you still hold a grudge. I'm worried that you'll spiral out of control and lose everything… but you know what… you'll still have me."

"Oh my god! Did you actually just quote me? And don't feed me lines of bullshit… this ain't _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ Blair… you're no saint; you're no Holly Golightly or Audrey Hepburn, either. See… that… that right there is another point! You wholeheartedly believe, as a romantic, in the classic movies you watch and the classic literature you read… that the girl will get her sweet ending and ride off into the sunset with the good guy… but in reality, you run away with the antagonist, instead."

"I didn't know you could be so vengeful, Dan!" enunciated Blair.

"You always think you could get whatever you want by uttering threats or batting your eyelashes… is that what you're teaching Audr-"

"Don't you _**ever**_ talk about Audrey in that manner ever again!"

Dan, who had now sported an apologetic face and lowered his tone, apologized profusely. "Look… I'm sorry; I know I've offended you as I crossed the line by mentioning Audrey in that way and in that tone…but…I…I… I just want to know…was any of it real? Were we real or was I just deluding myself? Was I really just a charity case that you decided to slum with? Did your warped logic make you believe that you were in a state of denial because you could actually love me?"

"I…I don't know what you want me to say, Dan."

"Now you're going be ignorant with me? Tell me that I was just a phase, that you were using me, and that I was a social experiment. Blair, if you can't even tell me the truth about that, then luckily for you, after this conversation, nothing more will have to be said."

She took a few bold steps forward, needing to be close to him even when he wished her away. She noticed the slight movement of his body turning away from her.

With a deep breath, in his most even voice yet, Dan continues his tirade. "Chuck is the Dark Knight of Manhattan. Granted, he can match Bruce Wayne's fortune in monetary funds but he would never dawn a mask and cape to take a bullet and be acclaimed as a self-less hero. Even so, he'd reap the rewards and beckon a statue be built in his honor. But unlike Chuck, Bruce would've given it all up for Rachel. Though Rachel's gone, I think Bruce Wayne would've done the same for Selina Kyle. Could the same be said for you? Would Chuck throw it all away, for you?"

"That's such a _compelling_ argument Cabbage Patch. Batman… really? I'm assuming you've just watched the Dark Knight Rises and are on some sort of Dark Knight kick by that comment. By the way pauper, aren't _you_ supposed to be the _white knight_ around here?"

"Blair, I'm not going to be around when the weight of your broken fairytale crashes around you all over again. I am out of the white knight business; having to save the damsel in distress … I'm done with that complex… I've moved on. By the looks of that engagement ring that's glaring at me… I suggest you do the same and plan for that extravagant wedding of yours."

"That's funny because that's exactly what your fiancé said to me before I left yesterday!"

"Well, this time heed our advice. But I'd really like to know something, Waldorf. When the game's over and the fun stops, what's next for… or should I say, _who's_ next for him? Blair, without your games or Audrey, you would have absolutely nothing with Chuck."

There was a long pregnant pause in which Dan and Blair just peered at one another, trying to see who would storm out of the office first. Moments passed where it felt like time stood still but the clock's angry ticking would remind them of where they were and what they were in the middle of doing. As Blair eyed the clock for like the umpteenth time, Dan muttered and cursed under his breath, before he gained enough courage to speak again. Coughing to get her attention, she seemed startled.

"You always stand by waiting for Mr. Right to sweep you off your feet… but in the mean time you switch between several Mr. Right Nows about as accelerated as Serena going through boxes of pregnancy tests."

There was no time for Dan to prepare for what would happen after he said those malicious words. A quick, yet heavy-handed slap to the face. Though he liked coming into contact with Blair's skin… this was not what he meant.

"What the FUCK Blair? That stung like a bitch!"

"Serves you right!" She practically yelled that through a hoarse throat before lowering her voice again.

"You know, in the future, I'll always refer to you as my friend and as the one that got away."

"The _one that got away_? Really Blair? Really? You've stooped so low, even by your standards that you've resorted to using a Katy Perry quote to make a point."

"You're relationship with Chuck is so far from Pacey and Joey's that I don't even know what to do or say to get through to you, Blair!"

"Okay… you _just_ chewed me out for using a Katy Perry song lyric but here you are, making a point using Pacey and Joey's relationship… from _Dawson's Creek_. While you're at it… why don't we examine relationships from _One Tree Hill_, _The Vampire Diaries_, _90210_, hell… why don't we even look at _Glee_ or _The Big Bang Theory_?"

Only stopping a quick minute to regain a bit of breath, she returned again.

"I didn't think that you were so in tune with pop culture, Humphrey."

"I could say the same for you, Waldorf. In the words of Charlie Sheen, it looks like Bass is "_winning"_, but I honestly don't care anymore! His cockiness blows Kanye West's ego out of the water, without a doubt. The arrogance displayed on Chuck's face wants me to deck him a few more times and I would gladly do so… right here right now."

Fiddling with the pens that were on his desk, Dan took a moment to regain his composure and to mull over the words he would say next.

"When I see you with Chuck, you hold back from happiness. Why is that Blair? By staying with Chuck, you've committed yourself and Audrey to a never-ending vicious cycle. You'll be stuck in an inevitable tragedy that will reoccur and each time you will strive to change the end. You'll be stuck thinking the outcome will be different… happier."

"Stop exaggerating everything! As a writer, you take pride in these scenarios so you can take the plot and twist them any which way you choose to. _Don't you have the flair for the dramatics?! _You're escalating the drama more than need be!"

"Why are you so concerned if I'm blowing this all out of proportion?"

She ignored his question and turned the opposite direction to avoid his questioning and to tone down the blush that crept her face.

Shooting daggers at her, Dan couldn't help but realize the capacity they were in… about an arm's length away. "You've lost your self-respect and that is something I can't and _won't _tolerate or sympathize with… I'd rather see you alone than with that _**Basshole**_ who enjoys making you feel like shit about yourself all the time because it's all a game to him. That's all that it will ever be to him… a big game, trying to claim you as his prize. He never takes you into consideration unless it benefits him, like as arm candy or in a takedown. The saddest part of it all though… is that you let him and I don't understand why. I knew you'd choose him over me, I expected that much, but damn, I'd I least thought you'd sit me down and tell me to my face. I didn't expect you to be a _cowardice_, sending me apologetic emails and phone messages! Ha! I'd never thought I'd say those words in the same sentence… Blair Waldorf and coward." He laughed cheekily, his lips curling in a mocking smile.

"You were always desperate to keep him around, weren't you? That's why you stalked him to that casino? You were vulnerable… but in the _worst_ possible way. With Chuck, you make the quote _'a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets'_ come to life! "It's nothing but a recycled story and a recycled lay!"

That earned him another slap to the face… which stung more so than the first.

"Stop romanticizing Chuck and Blair, dammit! Even if he's passionate, sexy, even _epic_… he disrespects you as an individual. If he loves you like he says, Chuck would walk to Mars before mistreating you, Blair. I'm not him…I'd never do that to you, Sienna, or to any other woman! And I thank the heavens that I'm not a doppelganger of Chuck Bass because if I were… I'd pity myself. I always thought Chuck was better with Eva because at least we got to see a different side to the non-feeling Chuck Bass. That's exactly how I felt about you when you and I were together! I always thought that we'd be those people defying our two very different worlds to be together while enduring the stereotypes and negativity from our worlds! I guess I was damn wrong about that, like a bunch of other things, too! Now I guess I've seen the _real_ Blair Waldorf… or maybe I've always seen her but just chose to ignore her or replace her with the version I thought she was!"

_There was a kind of cold-hearted selfishness on both sides, which mutually attracted them; and they sympathized with each other in an insipid propriety of demeanour, and a general want of understanding._

_(Sense & Sensibility)_

"Blair, what do you do when you spend your nights alone because he never comes home? What do you do when every time you call him, all you get is a busy tone? Do you use Audrey as a distraction? What do you do when Audrey is crying but she won't calm down in your arms and her father is nowhere in sight? He hurts you, leaves you, and doesn't treat you or Audrey right. You're crying when he's lying and it keeps you up all night. Why would you ever settle for that kind? If that's the way it's going to be, then you and I will clearly never be. The love we once shared Blair, it no longer remains and it was hard… the pain, because you never really knew, you wondered. You wondered if you were being untrue or if I was being a fool. But now I'm gone and I'm never coming home, so don't call because I won't answer the phone. Stay out of my life Blair, just leave me alone. It's such a shame to say that we'll never be the same…again."

His barbed words were cutting her into shards, because if anything, they were all true. She pledged that she wouldn't cry… at least not with him around because she needed to put up the old bitchy Queen B front, but her resolve failed her dearly.

"I can't stand by while you're hopelessly in love with him, nor can I take you back and play pretend. I'm tired of being taken for granted! With my feet firmly planted, I've given all of me, the affection I gave, you couldn't see. So I ended up empty handed, yet again. With every little footstep that you made, it was bigger than the last one you take and with that, another little heartbeat of mine seems to break. It took so much out of me, to finally realize that what we used to have, we don't have anymore. When you disappeared, I said to myself 'I hate liars; **fuck love** because I'm tired of trying.' My heart's big but it beats quiet… until I met Sienna. I eventually found someone that helps me build myself, in order to just leave your memory on the shelf."

By the time he had finished, she was way too close to him, his face mere inches away from hers. They stared at each other with intensity, one trying to make the other look away but neither was succeeding. She wondered what he would do if she kissed him and then she wondered why she would even kiss him. She was supposed to be mad at him. Why couldn't they move away from each other? She had been the one to seek this proximity but it seems he had wanted it too. She stared into his hazy eyes that pleaded with her to just walk out the door and never return.

"What do you want me to do to get it through your stubborn head Blair? Are you seriously that dense? Should I put my words on billboards and place them in Paris and all over the UES for you and all of the UES to see? I'm gonna be real blunt with you! **I never wanna kiss you again. I never wanna walk through the park holding your hand. There's no more talking all night until the early morning** with our witty banter about the arts, whether it is a clever line in your favorite movies or the subpar writing of modern books that I like to mock, like, _The 50 Shades of Grey_. **There are no happy endings in our future! I never wanna love you again, Blair Waldorf!** Is it crystal clear now?" Stepping back to observe the mess they were in, Dan, in a gentler tone said, "Look…Blair…_you are the one I will always adore… but I just don't love you anymore._ So go back to Chuck, the womanizer, because I'm with Sienna… meeting my new future. I may have said I'd always be there for you, but that was a lifetime ago, so go home Blair. Go home to your _perfect _life and take care of Audrey… for her sake, being as she is a Waldorf-Bass heir. So again I ask you Blair, what are you still doing here?"

Focusing on Dan and with a shaky voice, Blair replies with "Why do you care, Dan?"

For the first time, he had no answer. She felt a surge of satisfaction and she smiled in victory. Dan looked away from her, trying to hide his fluster. Dan, with clenched fists, glanced sideways at her once more and remained under her gaze, although he watched her with much confusion, wondering why she wanted to know.

The door opening in a rush brought the two back to reality as Brady barged in. "Oh… sorry…is this a bad time? I'll come back, then."

"No, it's fine… Ms. Waldorf is about to leave… right Blair?"

"Uhh… yeah. Do you ever intend of locking your door, Humphrey?"

"No. What do you need Brady?"

"Dan the man, our boss wants to know when the story on Savant's murder trial will go up online. It was supposed to be due last night, Dan. This is a newspaper company; news travels fast and changes so often, especially in this era of growing technology. I've been covering your ass, so I need your ass to get to work or _both_ our asses will be handed on a silver platter."

With an exasperated sigh, Dan furiously ran his hand through his hair having completely forgotten about the article… let alone the deadline. "Tell Colette, I'll have it done and online by tonight… I'll work overtime if I have to."

"Okay… again, I'm sorry for interrupting… it seems your discussion was pretty intense."

"Brady… do you mind escorting Ms. Waldorf out of the building please? She may need to take a stop at the ladies room to fix herself up, though."

"Sure…. it's no problem. Please follow me Ms. Waldorf."

"Before you go Blair, one last piece of crucial advice that I hope you abide by: with Chuck Bass… tread the waters lightly because if you don't, even in water you'll get burned. Don't do it for me or anyone else… do this for yourself and for Audrey. She may not be mine," though Dan honestly wished she was "but I can't bear to see her or even you in pain and I know you don't want that, either."

"As you are being escorted out of the premises, please let me serenade you with a song. I hope you won't hate me for it, but this is how I feel. With a hand waving goodbye in her direction, Dan began to mockingly sing, _'Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye'_."

When Dan was sure she was gone, Dan let out a lengthy breath he had not realized he held. Only encountering Blair Waldorf could make him so annoyed and yet, make his knees nearly buckle. After their exchange, Dan was as determined as ever to find her letter… it must have been really serious for her to have shyly asked about it. Normally she would demand a reaction or wait for the other individual to mention it first. Pulling back his curtains and looking out at Paris, Dan found a certain calmness in the relentless movement of cars and people.

Like describing Elinor in Jane Austen's _Sense and Sensibility_, Dan felt Blair…

_She was stronger alone; and her own good sense so well supported her, that her firmness was as unshaken, her appearance of cheerfulness as invariable, as, with regrets so poignant and so fresh, it was possible for them to be_.

_(Sense & Sensibility) _

But like Boris Pasternak's _Doctor Zhivago_…

_No deep and strong feeling, such as we may come across here and there in the world, is unmixed with compassion. The more we love, the more the object of our love seems to be to be a victim._

_(Doctor Zhivago)_

His thoughts were once again interrupted by Brady, who nonchalantly strolls into his office.

"So that was the infamous Blair Waldorf? She is just like how you mentioned her to me. She's hot, fashionable, and stubborn… coming in to see you at work like that, even though she knows you're engaged. She's pretty ballsy, and I commend that… no offence to Sienna, but I can't believe you let her slip away."

"I know… me too."

"She seems like a keeper, that's for sure."

"That she is…that she is, Brady."

In his mind, Dan's thoughts were _she's all that… and much more_ and he meant them_._

"Brady, I want you to know, Blair Waldorf…. she… she is _something_…"

* * *

_Thanks to Google translate for this English to French translation… though I'm not sure how accurate it is. I hope it sounded good._

_*Just because you're wife isn't giving you any, that is no excuse to cop a feel on me, especially as a security guard!_

_I also hope that I haven't offended anyone by somewhat mocking the novel, _The 50 Shades of Grey_. I have not read it myself, but my friend has and she did not like it, so it was kind of a shout out to my friend. If I have, I'm sorry and hopefully it does not deter you from reading my fic. _


	7. What I Have and What I Could Lose

_This was delayed a bit longer than I would have liked! I'm hitting a bit of a writing rut at this point. Everytime I write a story, I always have a beginning and an end, but the middle is what I'm always stuck in. Anyways, this is in Sienna's POV, not much is really happening but I kind of wanted to establish how Sienna and Dan met. This entire chapter is set during the time Dan and Blair have their big confrontation at his office, so this is what Sienna was doing in the meantime. This shows what Sienna has and what she could potentially lose. I'm going to try and get the next chapter up soon but I'm thinking the next chapter will be my last update for awhile because I'm starting to pack everything for my dorm in University, which starts in only 2 weeks! I will try and update as much as I can while at Uni because I'm dedicated to this story. I've actually written the ending already, which is split into 2 chapters. I'm trying to work on an epilogue as well! The next chapter will feature another face-off, well actually there will be 2 face-offs and an appearance by a certain character that you will know by the end of this chapter! _

_R&R always plz! Mistakes are mine!_

_Don't own GG or their characters! Song used in this chapter is "I Am" by Mary J. Blige._

* * *

_**(Sienna's POV)**_

I woke up this morning to the clatter of pots and pans. Rushing out to the kitchen I find Dan, groggy as hell, amidst the commotion, trying to make waffles.

"No offence baby, but you look like hell. Did Brady make you drink more than you should've?"

"Uhmm… yeah I guess? I'm sorry about that and I'm sorry about this mess that seemed to have woken you up."

"It's no problem Dan, I was about to start my day anyways. Maybe you should leave waffle making out today and pick-up a bagel or something on your way to work."

"Yeah, I guess I could really use a bagel with cream cheese today."

"Good. Now come here, you haven't given me my morning kiss, yet."

After a much too quick kiss, Dan, still pretty hung-over, took a slow shower and changed.

Before he walked out the door, I somehow felt compelled to say,

"Dan, no matter what happens I want you to know that I love you so much. I want you to promise me that when we are married, that I am the one and only person in your heart."

I don't know why I said it like I was foreshadowing something, but I did. Dan looked at me confused for a minute but shook it off and replied,

"I know you love me and I love you, too! You are the one and only person in my heart, now and always. Does this have something to do with Bla-?"

"No, this has nothing to do with your old _acquaintance, Blair Waldorf_. This is just about you and me. The future Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Humphrey. You know I love the sound of that! I just needed some reassurance to know that this is not some fairytale dream I've dreamt up and that this is real."

"Well, I assure you Sienna that I'm not going anywhere, unless I'm going with _you_."

At this point, Dan was already on the other side of the threshold as I was leaning on the doorframe. In between a few more pecks I coyly said,

"Aren't you a sweet-talker, Romeo? I think you should get going before my fiancé sees you, though."

Pulling away, Dan walked down the hallway and before I shut the door, I could hear him yell back,

"Maybe I should stay for a bit longer to meet this guy… I hear he's a real handsome fellow but I'd like to see for myself."

I tried to stifle a smile but I couldn't help but laugh at his comment.

**But now…down to business. **

As a TOC for an elementary school, I'm often not working... which is good for my current predicament. As I sit in front of my laptop, the morning sun bounces off a picture frame to the right of me.

Picking the frame up, I see that it is a picture of Dan and me smiling like kids in a candy store, in front of the Trevi Fountain in Rome. With the photo in my hands, it brought back the memory of how we met and how we came to be.

* * *

**Flashback – **

_(Summer 2012)_

_Wandering aimlessly around the warmth of Rome in tears and mascara streaking down my face, I know I look like the hellacious day I've been having. I was fired from work, warned for an eviction from my landlord, and was thoughtlessly dumped by my so-called boyfriend. Things couldn't get any worse today, right? Well, I was certainly proven wrong! I was about to throw a coin into the Trevi Fountain to make a much-needed wish, when some incompetent jackass nudges me into the fountain as he walked by! _

"_I'm so sorry!"_

_Clumsily getting out of the fountain, soaking wet, I turned around to face the man ready to bite his head off about not knowing his manners. I assumed it was some old perverted man with glasses and a receding hairline trying to get his libido revving but I did not expect him to be anything but. This mystery man seemed so guilty and apologetic with his mop of dark-haired curls and a thick jawline that would swoon any woman._

"_No, it's fine… I've had a terrible day so a swim in the fountain is actually quite refreshing."_

"_Haha! Again, I'm sorry! My name is Dan by the way, Dan Humphrey. To be honest, I think you've added to the beauty that is the Trevi Fountain." _

_He sticks out his hand thinking that I would just accept his apology – and I did because he was so damn cute._

"_Hello Dan. My name is Sienna Vattani. If I wasn't soaking wet and if I didn't know any better, I would have thought that was a pick-up line."_

"_Uhh….umm…I…I" _

"_It's okay! I didn't mean to get you all flustered and blushing. You know what, in order to save you from further embarrassment why don't I buy you lunch?"_

"_Umm... sure? Though, shouldn't I be asking you because I embarrassed you by making you take a swim in the fountain?"_

_With Dan, I had the best lunch date as far as I could remember. Dan, like me, had a tendency to ramble. He said that he was a writer and that he was actually on a writer's retreat in Rome. He was roaming around Rome to find inspiration and just happened to bump into me, which actually gave him an idea for a new story plot. _

_I guess you could technically consider our lunch date as our "first date" but when I tried to ask Dan for a real date he said that he was still majorly hung up on some girl who hurt him pretty bad. I gave him my number anyways, if he just happened to have changed his mind. _

_After a week, he called and I was ecstatic! We decided to meet for every date at the Trevi Fountain where we met. Everything was great and steady for about a month, until I found out his writer's retreat was coming to an end, which of course saddened me. _

_So, during his last week in Rome, we had one last date… a lunch date at Trevi Fountain. _

"_Sienna, I know this is kind of last minute, but… I'm headed to Paris when I leave Rome and… and I'd like for you to come with me!"_

"_WHAT?!" I must've looked like a hot mess as I was practically choking on my sandwich. _

"_Yeah! I mean it! Come with me, please? Look, you've told me you've always wanted to visit Paris – you can try to become an elementary school teacher like you've always wanted to be, you can eat French food at a dainty café, awe at the designers during fashion week, explore Paris – all with me by your side."_

"_Isn't that a bit reckless, to ask some girl you met a month ago to move to another country with you?"_

"_I'll take that as a yes."_

_To capture that moment, taking a picture in front of the Trevi Fountain seemed like the only logical option. _

_So, that's how I find myself packing my whole life in Italy to move to Paris with a guy who made me take a swim at Trevi Fountain… and I couldn't be any happier!_

**End Flashback**

* * *

Remembering that memory clear as day, it fueled me more than ever to keep Dan. The only way to do that is to get Blair Waldorf out of the picture, which means I need to outscheme the so-called Queen B.

Researching Blair Waldorf has been a piece of cake – this website known as Gossip Girl has an entire archive dedicated to her. I've also been rereading both _Inside_ and _Cast Off_. I didn't think about it at the time, but damn, this Clair woman is definitely Blair. Dan had told me that he had written a lot about the girl he had once been so hung up on, but since he met me, she has been put on the backburner. That's all a lie now because even though he wrote those words a long time ago, I know that he still means every single word of it – both the good and the bad. Dan was never a good liar to begin with – the fact that he claims he's looking for a lost letter from his sister proves that. I can't believe how much Blair has a hold on Dan… even after all this time after she destroyed him.

_Ain't nobody gonna treat you better  
Ain't nobody gonna touch you better  
Ain't nobody gonna love you better  
Boy, than I am, than I am_

_When you're out at night and you're in the streets_  
_And you have time to yourself_  
_Think of all the love that you get from me_  
_That you can't find nowhere else_

_When you're far away and I'm not around  
And temptation fills your heart  
Think of all the ways that I'm faithful, babe  
And to replace me would be hard, 'cause there's nobody  
_

_Ain't nobody gonna treat you better  
(No, nobody)  
Ain't nobody gonna touch you better  
(Nobody)  
Ain't nobody gonna love you better  
(No)  
Boy, than I am, than I am  
_

_(Nobody, nobody)  
Than I am  
(Nobody, nobody)  
Than I am  
(Nobody, nobody)  
Ohh, nobody's gonna treat you as good as I am_

_You can try to act single if you wanna_  
_You can go ahead and mingle if you wanna_  
_You can even behave like_  
_You don't care_

_But you know  
(But you know)  
Like I know  
(Like I know)  
That you ain't that foolish, who you foolin'?  
You won't ruin what's been here all along  
You ain't movin' from what you got at home  
_

_Ain't nobody gonna treat you better  
Ain't nobody gonna touch you better  
(Ain't nobody gonna touch you)  
Ain't nobody gonna love you better  
Boy, than I am, than I am  
_

_(Nobody, nobody)  
Than I am  
(Nobody, nobody)  
Than I am  
(Nobody's gonna touch you)  
(Nobody, nobody)  
Ohh, nobody's gonna treat you as good as I am  
_

_I just want you to know, baby, I love you so  
There is no need to go lookin' for nothing more  
'Cause I've got everything you'll ever need right here  
But if you feel that you need to leave, just know  
_

_Ain't nobody gonna treat you better  
Ain't nobody gonna touch you better  
(Ain't nobody)  
Ain't nobody gonna love you better  
Boy, than I am, than I am  
_

_Ain't nobody gonna treat you better  
Ain't nobody gonna touch you better  
Ain't nobody gonna love you better  
Boy, than I am, than I am  
_

_(Nobody, nobody)  
Than I am  
(Nobody, nobody)  
Than I am  
(Nobody, nobody)  
Ohh, nobody's gonna treat you as good as I am  
_

_(Nobody, nobody)  
Than I am  
(Nobody, nobody)  
Than I am  
(Nobody, nobody)  
Ohh, nobody's gonna treat you as good as I am  
_

_As I am  
As I am  
Ohh, nobody's gonna treat you as good as I am  
_

_(Nobody, nobody)  
As I am  
(Nobody, nobody)  
As I am  
(Nobody, nobody)  
Ohh, nobody's gonna treat you as good as I am_

Thanks to Gossip Girl, I found out that Blair unceremoniously dumped sweet Dan, like the bitch she is, to return to her socialite life and to Chuck Bass, the scumbag of the Earth. Now, the two are living in some Paris mansion, have a daughter and are apparently engaged… for a while, which speaks volumes about their relationship. Even as they live the seemingly perfect life, it's still not enough for Blair as she wants more! More, in this case, is seeking comfort in Dan, my _fiancé_!

From reading all the posts from Gossip Girl and from Dan's novels, there seems to be only one person in the world that knows what makes Blair Waldorf tick. I've known my good _"friend"_ for a while now… we actually go way back. I'm expecting a call from this individual today, so hopefully the first part of **Operation: Hands Off** will go off without a hitch.

The phone ringing shakes me out of revenge mode as I believe my contact is on the other end.

"Hey Sienna. I'm in! I have everything you need to go beast mode as your heart's content on Blair Waldorf!"

"That's great to hear! You better get ready because we are going **H*A*M**! Jersey Shore better watch out because this _"situation"_ is going to be way bigger than that GTLing Guido!"

"Well, remind to get ahold of MTV… we could our own reality tv series on taking down bitches! Look...uhmm… I got to go but I'll talk to you soon ok?

"Bye… _Serena_."


	8. Coffee & Unexpected Company

_**OMFG THAT STUPID PROMO! WTF WAS THAT?!**__ I can't even begin to believe what was going through the crew's mind when they spliced that shitstorm together! I don't really blame the cast, because they are just doing their job as actors – but I wholeheartedly blame the producers, writers, directors, and any other part of the crew that allows this series to end without dignity! Seriously, they need to watch the One Tree Hill ending because that is how you end a series – with character growth, maturation, and dignity. It makes you feel like watching all those seasons weren't a total waste of time, which is what GG has come to - a big, fat waste of time and energy on an abomination of a show! If it ends the way I feel like it will with Derena and Chair, __**especially**__ Chair, I'll either ignore it and read awesome Dair fanfics or go on a rampage, then go read fanfics. I really want to go up to Blair and slap her first, then shake her like a madman and just ask "WHY BLAIR, WHY?!" Some people are so blind when it comes to this epic Chair love that it truly makes me want to hurl. I also heard another rumor about… Ivy kissing Rufus?! WTF?! Can someone confirm that, please?_

_Anyways, besides the rant, like I said in my previous author's note, this will be my last update for a while because of University! I'm sorry to leave you hanging but hopefully this long and charged chapter will more than make-up for it! 8 is my lucky number so this is a really special chapter for me. When I do get a chance to update, I got something good brewing so please don't fret! _

_Mistakes are mine! R&R always please! _

_Song lyrics featured in this chapter are: "Ooh It's Kinda Crazy" – Soul Decision, "The Girl is Mine" – Michael Jackson & Sir Paul McCartney, and "The Boy is Mine" – Brandy & Monica._

* * *

It's finally Saturday. It's the long-awaited weekend in which Chuck had promised Blair a day of just the two of them, including making some plans for their wedding – like any normal engaged couple. They had left Audrey in the very capable hands of their housekeeper, Gisella. Blair, in many ways felt that Gisella was like the French version of her Polish housekeeper and oldest friend, but knew that there would always be one Dorota, whom she misses dearly.

Staying true to her perfectionist nature, Blair took this opportunity to self-indulge and plan out a perfect day with Chuck, right down to the last possible minute. She had been planning this excursion for days, which served as some sort of therapy for her. Normally, retail therapy would do the trick but that was when Blair was still that insecure girl that would binge and hurl and max out dearest mommy's plastic cards. This refined Blair Waldorf found satisfaction in making use of a daily agenda and partaking in business acquisitions. Looks like the days of scheming and plotting revenge at Constance paid off in abundance.

Today would be a day that Blair very much needed. Audrey has been incredibly fussy and uncooperative since their visit to Dan's condo. It's like Audrey could sense her mother's unhappiness and reacted accordingly. When Chuck was not around, Blair would find solitude in her room and bawl her eyes out uncontrollably. That day… that visit to Dan's office made her outlook with a future with Dan meek and almost dead. _Almost._ The tone in which Dan spoke to her was one out of pure hatred which she has never seen from him. Even during their high school days when neither could ever imagine being mutual friends with the other, those days pale in comparison to that one hour visit. The points he made, the pinpoint questions he asked – they were all pushing the right buttons. Dan wanted to evoke Blair's emotions of guilt and disgust for leaving him for an all-consuming love – he sure as hell got it, though he just doesn't know it. Yes, they would bicker – constantly – but that was out of Blair proving her point once and for all that Audrey Hepburn is better than Katherine Hepburn. She would just need to wear Dan down enough for him to concede, as usual of course. The questions Dan asked her in his office though, she had no answers to any of them. This irritated her most – that she was left without words in front of some forgotten, germ-infested hoodlum from Brooklyn.

_God, how can his mere presence send heat and irritation throughout her whole body, all at once?_

Chuck and Blair had a very pleasant but somewhat quiet breakfast although Audrey was being a handful this morning…again. Blair felt a pang of pain leaving Audrey when she was needed the most but another part of her – though it sounds cruel – needs the separation, in order to rebuild her relationship with Chuck. At least, that's what she keeps telling herself, immensely trying to believe it. According to Blair's mind, the rest of the day would run a lot smoother than the morning. After breakfast, the power couple would head to the opening of a new Harry Winston, where they would be all (fake) smiles for the cameras. From there, Chuck would tag along (though he'd consider it suffering) to the Gerhard Richter exhibition at The Centre Pompidou, where Blair would spend endless hours admiring Richter's work of creativity in the face of modernity's extreme pressures. Lunch would be eaten at Café de Flore, where Blair secretly hoped Dan would be there. When they've finished Blair's favorite activity, Blair would join Chuck on his favorite activity – lingerie shopping for Blair. The two would then meet up with their wedding planner, Isla, to obviously plan their wedding. The day would end with Chuck buying Blair a box of her favorite macaroons and Chuck getting lucky or having to watch _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ with Blair…again – though Blair doubts the latter scenario would occur.

Blair was convinced that this special bonding Saturday would run smoothly and that she and Chuck would regain that spark that they had years ago but that is easier said than done. The Harry Winston opening was unpleasant; the art exhibit was boring and awkward as Chuck wanted to do anything but be there. Lunch is when the landscape had changed… for the worst. Blair did not foresee the atrocity that would ensue when having lunch with Chuck at Café de Flore.

As Chuck and Blair nibbled on croissants and other French pastries, with cups of coffee in tow, in nonchalantly walks Dan with a completely smitten Sienna wrapped in his arms. Luckily, Blair was the one facing towards the entrance so only she was the one to spot Dan and Sienna. Though Chuck's back had been turned to them, he couldn't help but notice his fiancé was staring past his shoulder, off into the distance. Sensing something slightly amiss, Chuck snuck a quick glance into the direction in which Blair was fixated on and found of all people from their UES past, _Humdrum Humphrey_ enthralled with some red-headed woman at the same café as Blair and himself.

Dan and Sienna had not yet noticed their presence and Blair prayed it would stay that way, but of course… things never go Blair's way – which would definitely make for a great soap opera or teen drama on the CW network. Without any time to stop him, Chuck made a quick beeline to the counter to acknowledge their unwanted company.

_Great! If things weren't already bad enough between Chuck and myself. Now we are being thrust into this awkward situation with Dan and Sienna. Why did I decide to have lunch here of all places? Why did Dan show up… with Sienna? Why did I actually want Dan to show up in the first place? _

"Well if it isn't Humpty Dumpty Humphrey? I didn't expect you to be here in this café in Paris… actually… I didn't exactly expect you to be anywhere. I thought you'd be drinking yourself to a dead stupor, nursing your wounded heart and whatnot – it's what I would do…well maybe getting a whole lot of action first, then drinking."

Flashing his signature _**Basshole**_ smirk and extending a hand out to Sienna in the creepiest of fashions – as if he was going to devour her – Chuck, in a low and rough voice introduced himself,

"I'm _Bass_. Chuck Bass. And you, an angelic red-head are…?"

"Lay off Bass! She's my fiancée! And no, I'm not drinking myself into a dark depression like you would. I'm alive and well and thanking heaven and Earth that I'm nothing like you!" As Dan squinted around the crowded café he drawled, "By the way, where's _your_ fiancé?"

That earned Dan a vicious sneer and deadly glare from the Dark Knight himself.

In turn, this gave Dan a slight smile in victory knowing exactly what to say to acquire that anticipated response from Chuck.

"I'm right here. I didn't want to get left out of this awkward festivity. Hi Dan. Hi Sienna."

Blair's greeting was a little timid perhaps but how else would she address them, with a cheery voice and smile?

Chuck turned to Blair, albeit confused, as to why she knows Dan and Sienna but decided to let it slide… for now. There were more pressing issues that needed his attention than Dan Humphrey, such as blackmailing a prime investor about his little transgression during his last vacation to the Bahamas.

"Isn't this just a merry meeting? If you don't mind, Sienna and I were just getting some coffee an-"

"Why don't you join Chuck and me?"

That forced everyone to peer at Blair with their eyes wide and mouths gawking open. Sienna looked oddly calm, pleased even, with the invitation; Dan was beyond suspicious; and Chuck – well he was seething, but that would be the understatement of the year – you could feel the heat radiating from the tips of his ears. There is no reasonable explanation as to what possessed Blair to randomly blurt that invitation out but there's no taking it back now. She was now playing the waiting game with their answer.

Before Dan, being the protective and doting man he is, could answer with a clear no, Sienna jumped and said in a much too preachy voice and accent "Yes! Dan and I would love to… show us to your table."

Trying to make the most of this inconvenience, Blair needed to make a step in the right direction for even minimal progress with Dan. She needed to be _"nicer"_ and somehow bade Dan into having an adult conversation with her, like the way it used to be – relaxed, not hostile.

It wasn't as easy as Blair had anticipated though. Every subject she tried to approach him with was either answered promptly or shot down entirely. Every now and then, Dan would send Blair a menacing look her way, trying to be subtle with the company they had but failing miserably.

Chuck would not speak; just sit there with his coffee in one hand and his Blackberry in the other. He only looked up to grab a bite of scone or give a compliment to Sienna while scowling at Dan.

Sienna, however, was in some sort of rambling zone where she would drone on and on about her life before meeting Dan and how Dan miraculously changed her outcome in life. Ugh… she was too fluffy for Dan. Blair hated Sienna more and more by the minute… Dan this…Dan that – it was so obvious Sienna was making a bold statement and warning Blair to stay away. Sienna stole Dan away from her and she was too perky and optimistic… qualities Blair thought were not suited in a woman for Dan. By the sound of it though, it doesn't seem like Sienna knew about Blair's unwelcome visit to Dan's office, which brought some relief to Blair.

Sienna was acting like Blair would be intimidated by her and run away with her La Perlas in a bunch, but only a pitiful fool would think Blair Waldorf would fall for this kind of stint. Please, if anything, Blair Waldorf invented the theory of making others fear you. If you felt brave enough to rebel, Blair would reprimand you by chewing you up and spitting you out. Like the Blair Waldorf go to mantra: _**"The best defense is having the best offense."**_

About half an hour into this uneasiness, Chuck had enough and abruptly stood up. In a tone that Blair could not really decipher like a cryptic message, he uttered,

"Blair, don't we have more things to do today, like planning our wedding?"

"Well…uhmm.. yeah. I almost forgot. I guess we need to leave."

Without thinking, Dan chortled, "Yes! We can't keep Chuck and Blair from planning their _perfect_ wedding." He didn't hide the sarcasm that was dripping in his voice as he drawled out the word perfect. Dan's face was blank, expressionless except for the darkness in his eyes and the way his jaw was set tense and taut.

"Sienna and I are actually waiting for one of her friends here. Apparently, she's visiting Paris for a bit and wanted to catch-up. Sienna is going to formally introduce me as her fiancé."

"Blair, I'll send the car out to come get us while I go make a phone call to an ambassador in Abu Dhabi. I'll call to check up on Audrey, as well. You can say your farewells in the meantime." Turning to Sienna, "It was very pleasant to meet you Sienna." Finally, facing Dan in a standoffish way, Chuck simply snarled **"Humphrey"** before making his exit.

Chuck exiting brought Dan to face Blair once more… too many times in one week in his mind, as Sienna watched the standstill. Feeling the tension, Sienna excused herself to the ladies room, leaving Dan and Blair to hash out their frustrations alone.

As to not create a scene, Dan whisper-yelled, "What the hell Blair? Are you stalking me now?"

_If you want my love  
help me heal the pain in my eyes..._

_Ooh i's kind of crazy_  
_I've been thinking baby_  
_Gotta get you out of my mind_  
_First, you say you want me, now_  
_Your memories haunt me_  
_Why don't you just give me a sign_

"N… NO! Why would you think that?" She cried out, her voice vibrating against the building.

"Because I've been to this café about as many times as I brush my teeth and I've never once seen you here. Suddenly, out of the blue you show up to see me here? You have this crazy knack for being where you aren't desired."

_I thought I had someone that  
I could fall in love with  
Someone who would treat me right, yeah  
So I tried to be so kind  
I thought for sure I'd made you mine  
But something's weighin' up on my mind_

"I was just having a pleasant meal with Chuck before you and _her _showed up and ruined everything!"

"**We** ruined everything? And my fiancé has a name… it's **SIENNA**!"

_Why don't you take my hand  
And help me understand  
'Cause I can't figure out what you're thinking about  
Why don't you let me know  
I don't wanna be alone  
Goin' out of my mind  
Waiting for the day you say you'll be mine_

Interrupting Dan, Blair quietly asks, "Do you…?"

"Do I what Blair? I don't have time for your warped roundabout logic, so just spit it out already!"

"Do you really love Sienna?"

"Wha…What? Why would you even question my love for her?"

"That's not an answer; it's a very simple yes or no type of question."

"**YESSS!** I, Dan Humphrey love Sienna. We're engaged. Isn't that what is supposed to happen when you love someone? Like the way you love Chuck?"

_(If you want my love)  
Why don't you show me then  
(Help me heal the pain in my eyes)  
I know you want me now  
(If you want my love)  
Why don't you tell me, cause  
I've had enough of plastic people wastin' my time_

Ignoring Dan's snide comment against Chuck, she presses on, "Do you love her more than you love me?"

_I thought I had someone that  
I could really care for  
Someone who wouldn't waste my time yeah  
Now I find that you lied  
You're always out with other guys  
Is that you're way of playin' with my mind, yeah_

That instantly got Dan flustered without any way to recover. He was stumbling over his words, rambling in order to change the subject, his palms grew increasingly sweaty, and what gave it away the most, was the shade of red that appeared on his face – a reddening blush on his cheeks. Actions speak louder than words and Blair got her answer loud and clear. She still had an effect on him as he did on her.

_Why don't you take my hand  
And help me understand  
'cause I can't figure out what you're thinking about  
Why don't you let me know  
I don't wanna be alone  
Goin' out of my mind  
Waiting for the day you say you'll be mine_

Trying to regain his composure as well as the situation that was clearly getting out of hand, it was Dan's turn to turn the tables. "Why are we even having this discussion again…? I thought we left everything on the table when you rudely barged into my office building. Are you here to finally answer those questions I asked that you were speechless to answer? "Do _you_ love Chuck _more than me_… wait… don't answer that because I already know the answer!"

_(If you want my love)  
Why don't you show me then  
(Help me heal the pain in my eyes)  
I know you want me now  
(If you want my love)  
Why don't you tell me, cause  
I've had enough of plastic people wastin' my time_

Again, like in his office, Blair was silent.

"Oh! I see that shut you up! Blair Waldorf without any biting remarks, not even one about my hideous plaid outfit!"

And if his eyes had not been watching her, waiting for her reaction, he might not have noticed the way she just happened to flinch. It was a fraction of a second and barely noticeable, but he indeed caught it.

_Showed you all that I am, and I treated you well  
Gave you half of my heart, but you tore it to hell  
Give me someone who loves, and who won't cheat on me  
Baby up in my room, that's exactly what you asked of me baby_

Not backing down or glancing away from him, Blair began her response, "You know what I think Dan… I thin-"

"Am I interrupting something?" In an innocent voice that sounded like it came from an 8 year old's mouth, Sienna had to butt in to diffuse the heated situation.

"No honey, I was just going to get some fresh air outside because I certainly need it. Would you like to join me?"

"No, but you can go on out…" through gritted teeth Sienna finished her sentence, "I would like a moment to speak with Blair."

* * *

Leaving the women behind, Dan filled his lungs with the fresh air that surrounds Paris. Wanting to take a curt walk around the block before returning to the café, he really needed to clear his head. He needs to stop playing this dangerous game with Blair – it's not his style… it's Chuck's – before he does something really stupid and falls for the trap once more. No matter how hard he tries to move on…his heart keeps skipping a beat at the sight of her. Sienna is a great girl… an _amazing_ girl, but she's nowhere in the league of Blair Cornelia Waldorf. Since releasing _Cast Off_, Dan hasn't been able to follow up with any decent writing except for a few hasty and useless scribbles in his notebook. Having to face reality and let her go, Dan also let go of his muse. Whether he loved her or hated her, there was no denying that Blair was great inspiration for a novel and that Clair was one hell of a characterization of her.

Not realizing where he was walking as his head was lost in thought, Dan almost barreled through another pedestrian. He felt guilt for narrowly clipping someone until he was accosted by… Chuck Bass. He of course was wearing a smug smile as wide as the river Seine.

_Every Night She Walks Right In My Dreams  
Since I Met Her From The Start  
I'm So Proud I Am The Only One  
Who Is Special In Her Heart_

_The Girl Is Mine_  
_The Doggone Girl Is Mine_  
_I Know She's Mine_  
_Because The Doggone Girl Is Mine_

"Woopty-freakin-do! Seeing you twice in the span of 40 minutes, what did I do to ever deserve this? Are you still creepin' Chuck?"

_I Don't Understand The Way You Think  
Saying That She's Yours Not Mine  
Sending Roses And Your Silly Dreams  
Really Just A Waste Of Time_

"Daniel, drop the sarcasm. You've lost and it seems like you're dealing with it fine by the looks of it. Sienna is a fine specimen… if I wasn't wit-"

_Because She's Mine  
The Doggone Girl Is Mine  
Don't Waste Your Time  
Because The Doggone Girl Is Mine_

"Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence you _**Basstard**_!"

_I Love You More Than He  
(Take You Anywhere)_

_But I Love You Endlessly_  
_(Loving We Will Share)_

_So Come And Go With Me_  
_To One Town_

"Fine. Though what she sees in you, I'll never understand. What's wrong with her? Does she have low standards, slumming with a former Brooklynite with an accompanying low self-esteem?"

_But We Both Cannot Have Her  
So It's One Or The Other  
And One Day You'll Discover  
That She's My Girl Forever And Ever_

"Nothing is wrong with her, she's everything and more! Why are you so concerned Bass? Like you've mentioned, you've won, I've happily moved on – what more do you want? Do you want to see me suffer and go dive into a downward spiral because I can assure you that is not the case now nor will it ever be. I'm better than that… I'm better than **you**! You may have money, power, pride, hell even Blair for all I care but I have something you will never have and that you'll never understand - **a heart**!" His voice grew decibels louder, more defined.

_I Don't Build Your Hopes To Be Let Down  
'Cause I Really Feel It's Time_

_I Know She'll Tell You I'm The One For Her_  
_'Cause She Said I Blow Her Mind_

"Like I give a damn about you Humphrey! I'm just simply reminding you of the stakes we betted on and that you walked away with nothing while I won everything. The funny thing is… I learnt that sometimes you need to be the prey that gets chased around, not always the predator and that patience is a virtue. I didn't really do anything… I just stood back and let the drama unfold itself. I guess she realized kissing the bad boy was worth more than kissing a frog, am I right? That's why she left you to pursue me."

_The Girl Is Mine  
The Doggone Girl Is Mine  
Don't Waste Your Time  
Because The Doggone Girl Is Mine_

"Drop the casino metaphors Chuck. So basically, you're gloating about winning Blair's heart? God, you are so condescending, aren't you? Go right on ahead then, I'm not stopping you, because **I DON'T CARE**!"

_She's Mine, She's Mine  
No, No, No, She's Mine  
The Girl Is Mine, The Girl Is Mine  
The Girl Is Mine, The Girl Is Mine_

_The Girl Is Mine, (Yep) She's Mine_  
_The Girl Is Mine, (Yep) She's Mine_

"Your words say one thing, but your tightly clenched fists that seem to be turning a wicked white, say another thing."

_Don't Waste Your Time  
Because The Doggone Girl Is Mine  
The Girl Is Mine, The Girl Is Mine_

Before Dan could notice his fists that were unconsciously clenched, Chuck's driver coincidentally pulled up to the curb.

_Michael, We're Not Going To Fight About This, Okay_

_Paul, I Think I Told You, I'm A Lover Not A Fighter_

_I've Heard It All Before, Michael_  
_She Told Me That I'm Her Forever Lover, You Know, Don't You Remember_

_Well, After Loving Me, She Said She Couldn't Love Another_

_Is That What She Said_

_Yes, She Said It, You Keep Dreaming_

_I Don't Believe It_

"Well, it was surely not my pleasure to see you again, Humpty but my driver is here so I guess you'll have to wait to punch me some other time… or not. Before I go, word of advice, go see a dentist about your grinding teeth. You maybe from Brooklyn but you're in Paris, so don't look like a hobo… at least for your fiancé's sake."

_**The Girl Is Mine (Mine, Mine, Mine)**_

Dan was left fuming on the sidewalk more furious than when he had first stepped out. Disgruntled, he sluggishly returned to the café to retrieve his fiancé, who must be in hell after being alone with Blair. Dan – like a pan slapping his face – realized that even though he should be a joyous engaged man, he was anything but. All due to a 95 pound package of girly evil that he was still madly in love with. As hard as he may try to deny it, every ounce in his body is screaming that Dan Humphrey still loves Blair Waldorf. But there is nothing he could possibly due to change Blair's mind – she was engaged to Chuck, gaining the happy ending she craved. Why would she leave him anyways, Chuck could give her the world while Dan could only offer his warmth and words on paper? It's not like she still harbored feelings for him in return, right? His heart would only go to hell once again and there's only so much a heart can take.

_Oh… if only Dan knew how Blair really felt about him._

* * *

**Meanwhile…**

_Excuse me, can I please talk to you for a minute_

_Uh huh, sure, you know you look kinda familiar_

_Yeah, you do too but, umm,  
I just wanted to know do you know somebody named? You know his name._

_Oh, yeah definitely I know his name._

_I just wanted to let you know he's mine._

_No no, he's mine.  
_

_You need to give it up.  
Had about enough.  
It's not hard to see,  
The boy is mine.  
_

Sienna and Blair were in the café having a tumultuous face-off of their own.

_I think it's time we got this straight,  
Let's sit and talk face to face.  
There is no way you could mistake him for your man,  
Are you insane?_

_See I know that you may be  
Just a bit jealous of me.  
Cause' you're blind if you can't see  
That his love is all in me._

_See I tried to hesitate,  
I didn't want to say what he told me.  
He said without me_

_He couldn't make it through the day,  
Ain't that a shame._

"I thought I warned you before Blair, stay away from me and stay away from Dan. I guess you really are as stubborn as Dan mentioned, maybe I should do something about that then."

_And maybe you misunderstood,  
Plus I can't see how he could  
Wanna take his time and that's all good.  
All of my love was all it took_

_The boy is mine._  
_You need to give it up._  
_Had about enough._  
_It's not hard to see,_  
_The boy is mine._  
_I'm sorry that you_  
_Seem to be confused._  
_He belongs to me_  
_The boy is mine._

_Must you do the things you do  
Keep on acting like a fool  
You need to know it's me not you  
And if you didn't know it girl it's true._

"What are you going to do? Are you going to throw scalding coffee all over me, what are we, 12?"

_I think that you should realize,  
And try to understand why  
He is a part of my life  
I know it's killing you inside._

_You can say what you wanna say.  
What we have you can't take.  
From the truth you can't escape.  
I can tell the real from the fake._

_When will you get the picture.  
You're the past, I'm the future  
Get away it's my time to shine  
If you didn't know the boy is mine._

"The coffee would suffice for starters but I know worse things that could be done to you."

_You can't destroy this love I've found  
Your silly games I won't allow  
The boy is mine without a doubt  
You might as well throw in the towel_

_What makes you think that he wants you,  
When I'm the one that brought him to  
The special place that's in my heart,  
He was my love right from the start_

"I see that you are as insecure and naïve as a teenager and that you use Dan to make those insecurities tolerable."

_He belongs to me_

_The boy is mine, not yours_

_But mine!_

_Not yours!_

_But mine!_

_Not yours!_

_But mine!  
_

_I'm sorry that you  
Seem to be confused.  
He belongs to me_

"You must be thinking of yourself, Blair. He learned to treat insecurities all because he protected you from yours. Dan is the best guy you ever had and you left him battered and bruised. He was there for you through all of your bullshit when you two weren't together, but the minute he was your "boyfriend" you couldn't be any more distant from him – instead chasing around that total _douchebag_ you call your fiancé! You fucked up big time! You have Chuck and I have Dan so there shouldn't be a problem here but you keep making it out to be one. Dan is mine! I'm going to do everything I can to make it stay that way for the rest of our lives and if I have to destroy you in the process because of your meddling ways – then you're just collateral damage, I guess. Then you'll know how Dan felt all those years ago in Rome, as he mourned over you! I didn't even think you deserved to be mourned over, but that was how he slowly healed. Are you happy now Blair?"

_**The boy is mine**__._

Instead of answering, Blair snatches a random cup of Joe from another table conveniently close to where they stood. Sienna stood triumphantly over Blair as she was taller by a bit – she was wearing a pair of worn out Converse in comparison to Blair's wedges. Blair was about to show this bitch the true meaning of hot mess but Dan managed to swoop in and hark the cup away without managing to spill a single drop of coffee. By this time, every patron in the café was watching the movement from the three of them with judging eyes.

After gingerly giving the beverage back to its rightful customer, Dan faced the two women complicating his life, with a callous expression. He was already pissed with his encounter with Chuck, but this only added fuel to the fire. Providing a bitter laugh, Dan simply asked, "What the fuck is going on? I leave the two of you for several minutes and come back to hear Sienna being belittled and to see Blair nearly throwing a hot drink in my fiancé's face?" Softening a tad bit, Dan swiftly turns to Sienna and tries to comfort his hysterical wife-to-be by draping his arms around her, as if to shield her from the big bad bitch, Blair.

"Look, since meeting with you, this whole day has been far from a good one, so I think it is best you leave now Blair. I ran into Chuck and his driver who are patiently waiting for you. Please, do everyone in this café a huge favor, especially Sienna and myself and just take your purse and go. Do this for your sake… to save yourself from further embarrassment."

"Oh! Please don't leave on my account, Blair! Don't even try to give her any advice Dan, we all know she only listens to her heart, which was obviously poisoned by Chuck long ago, about the same time he shamelessly stole your virginity, isn't that right Blair?"

Three sets of eyes cautiously turned towards the interrupting voice: Sienna's of great satisfaction; and Dan and Blair's of pure shock.

Standing before them all was _Serena van der Woodsen_. The tall and leggy blonde radiated sex appeal and playfulness. Serena was here for business though, not for fun; she needed to settle the score with Blair that had been adding up since their Constance days.

Doing everything in his power to shake off this hallucination, Dan coughed and shook his head to no avail however as it proved futile. Finally giving up thinking she was an illusion, Dan, feeling the bravest between the others, decided to reluctantly address the giant elephant in the room by just barely managing to croak out,

"S…Ser… Serena?!"

He was staring her dead in the eyes, blanched, when all of a sudden; giggling like a schoolgirl was Sienna, greeting Serena with a welcoming embrace.

A flash of panic struck Dan's face because his last encounter with Serena ended the way his did with Blair… with bitterness. Blair felt anger bubbling inside of her like never before.

Stepping away from their embrace, Sienna sensed Dan was anything but pleased with her at this moment but knew in the end Serena appearing will be the best for everyone. Sienna seized this opportunity to lead Dan away to somewhat calm him down while Serena will tear into Blair.

"Serena? Serena is your friend from long ago? Why didn't you tell me you knew someone from my UES past? And you asked her to visit us? Why? I'm going to ask you again Sienna, if this is about Bl-"

"Like I said before Dan, this is not about Blair. I didn't expect Blair to ever have lunch here… it's not like I planned it. You believe me right?"

"Yeah… I guess. You couldn't predict Blair and Chuck's presence."

"Yes, Serena and I have been friends for a long while. We actually met back in Cornwall, Connecticut, when she attended Knightly for a while. I tried to be her good influence while others like Damien Dalgaard tried to suck her into a terrible lifestyle. I knew about her crushing on Ben, when he was a teacher. Look, this isn't the time nor the place to talk about this but I will tell you everything when we get home later. Serena will be housed in a hotel nearby our condo. I know things were left tense between the two of you but I really hope with Serena coming into our lives as my friend, that it will be possible to patch things up."

Giving Sienna a disdainful look that basically read _"This conversation isn't over… not by a long shot,"_ Dan relented and calmed down considerably. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he was about to head over to where Blair and Serena stood until he saw Blair zipping past him trying to keep her tears in check and shutting the café door behind her in an un-Blair-like fashion.

"Serena, what did you say to Blair? She stormed out of here in such a way that I haven't seen in a long time, since…"

"Since the last time Chuck broke her down." says Serena, finishing Dan's sentence not leaving her gaze from the door Blair just blitzed through. Haughtily, Serena continued, "I just said brought up some very truthful material… as I was concerned for her. She must've taken it the wrong way and huffed off with a pout on her face, like she always does."

"So, let's get that cup of coffee I was promised. I can't believe you two are engaged! Sienna that ring is _gorgeous_; remind me to buy a pair of sunglasses because that enormous rock you're rockin' is blinding me! Looks like Dan hanging around snobby rich folks like my mother and the rest of the UES was useful for something because he certainly has nice taste – in jewelry and women! "

With a snap of her pristinely manicured nails, Serena manages to change the subject and her demeanor entirely. Dan's look of suspicion returns as Sienna is as giddy as can be, admiring her handiwork of the first part of her scheme coming to fruition.

* * *

The long car ride home with Chuck was tedious, awkward, and silent. This Saturday was supposed to be about reconnecting with Chuck but it seems like it drove them further apart, instead. Mentally, Blair cursed Dan and Sienna for being such a lovey-dovey couple; she envied their love but couldn't help but relive Dan's actions as she could sense he was still drawn to her. Damn Dan but more so, damn Sienna for thinking she can just weasel her way into Dan's heart with her Italian accent and fiery red hair. Closing her eyes in the town car, Blair thought about the only man she ever truly loved and will ever love… and it certainly wasn't the man sitting beside her as her fiancé.

As Chuck and Blair made it home, Chuck immediately went to seek refuge in Audrey's crib. Sneaking behind Chuck, Blair was happy to see he was tucking her in nice and snug and gave her a kiss to the temple. Although Chuck doesn't obviously gush and fawn over his daughter nor is always there to take care of their baby, it is nice to know that he does sincerely care and makes attempts to be a good father, unlike his own.

Taken aback to see Blair watching over him, Chuck announced in a low voice as to not wake Audrey, "Blair, we need to talk." As they walked to the living room, Chuck poured himself a glass of bourbon from their liquor collection and took a long pull from it before proceeding.

Taking some files out from his desk, Blair sat on the sofa and rolled her eyes in annoyance thinking they were going to discuss Bass Industries again or Waldorf Designs or anything related to business. It was none of those things though; she was highly unprepared for the files that were barbarically slapped onto the desk in front of her, some of its contents sprawled all along the floor.

Staring at Chuck, then to the files, and then again to Chuck, Blair swallowed a hard lump in her throat.

Chuck stood tall and menacing before her as he drained his full glass of bourbon still in his shaky hand; he sat it down on the glass coffee table with a resounding thud and looked to her, with great intensity. Blinking only once, his eyes locked with hers.

For a moment all was quiet. There was no sound, not even a breath. The silence was deafening. The air thick with tension. Blair tried to meet his eyes once again but Chuck refused to look at her now. And then, just as quickly, everything erupted. Before Blair could blink, Chuck was in motion.

"Chuck…it's not what you think… I can ex-!"

"You can what, Blair? You can explain this _bullshit_ I'm seeing with my very own eyes? Please, go right on ahead and educate me, as if I don't already exactly know what those files look like!"

Her voice was faltering and she was struggling with the tears endlessly flowing thanks to this new development by Chuck, but Blair managed to squeak out a simple but basically useless,

"_I'm sorry_…"


	9. Drifting Apart But Closer to Happiness

_**I CANNOT EXPRESS ENOUGH HOW FUCKED UP THIS SHOW HAS BECOME! **__I CANNOT FATHOM HOW THE ACTORS FEELS ABOUT THIS. THE ONLY JOY I HAVE RECEIVED FROM SPOILERS IS THE FACT THAT DAN IS MEANER AND DARKER! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE THIS SIDE OF HIM! I JUST HOPE HE ISN'T "CHUCK" DARK! __**TO BLAIR WALDORF: YOU FUCKED UP BIG TIME CHOOSING CHUCK… AGAIN!**__ (Nothing against Leighton Meester because I love her, but I just hate who she portrays!)_

_Sorry for my rant but every emotion I feel is hurt and anger. Every time I've tried to write this chapter, I get sidetracked by the fact Blair Waldorf is Chuck's accessory and she seems perfectly fine with that! I've attended my creative writing course and doing the free write exercises and all of my writings revert back to how pissed off I am because of this "epic love" involving Chuck and Blair that __**murdered **__Dair. I've actually incorporated bits and pieces from my exercises in this chapter._

_On a much lighter note, I'm enjoying frosh week at UBCO! Go Heat! Tuum Est! (It's Yours!)_

_I've noticed more people are following my story, so huge thanks! This update was long overdue in my books, so thanks for sticking with me! Trying to update as soon as I can, but in the meantime please enjoy this chapter and R&R please as always! Hopefully I lived up to some of your expectations, but if not, I'm sorry! Mistakes are mine!_

_Song lyrics in this chapter: "All I Have" by Jennifer Lopez ft. LL Cool J and "Come Back to Me" by Utada._

_Sidenote: For those of you who watch Big Brother USA – I'm so pleased that Frank's evicted! I guess everyone's luck runs out eventually! Go Ian! I commend Dan's ballsy moves. Shane and Danielle are easily manipulated. If Jenn just happens to magically win the game (c'mon really? (cue eye roll) The jury ain't gonna vote for her! LOL :P)…that would almost be just as big as an epic fail as Chair!_

* * *

"I'm so sorry…"

_Love is life and life is livin'  
It's very special  
All my love...  
_

"You're sorry?! _You're sorry?!_ You're sorry for what Blair? For being as distant as we had ever been and not wanting to have sex, or neglecting our daughter half the time, or are you sorry for the fact that you had to hire a PI to flush out Humdrum Humphrey and that every time you are face-to-face with him, all you do is eye-fuck him? So, which of these excuses are you really sorry for, Blair?"

_Oh...oh...oh...oh...oh...  
(Baby, don't go)  
(Baby, don't go) Yeah  
(Baby, don't go, uh)  
(Baby, don't go) Yeah  
(Baby, don't go)  
(Baby, don't go) Yeah, yeah  
(Why you act like that)  
_

At the sound of his accusations, Blair snapped. "Don't act like you're the victim here, Chuck! I should and am beyond furious with you; you don't seem to trust me enough that you had to hire your own detective to stalk over my affairs! I'm trying to get you involved in raising Audrey, but you, being the insensitive jackass you clearly are, don't give a damn about her!"

"I'm being an insen-?"

_It's such a shame, but I'm leavin'  
Can't take the way you mistreated me  
And it's crazy, but oh, baby  
It don't matter, whatever, don't faze me  
_

"DON'T INTERRUPT ME DAMMIT! You jet halfway around the world at a drop of a dime, leaving me with Audrey almost always! Because of you always up and leaving for a business trip, when I feel it is anything but… we don't have sex! Deal with it! There are couples out there – as hard of a concept this is to grasp for you – who are perfectly content without coitus. They are happy just being in the presence of the other! And if you think I neglect Audrey just because I drop her off at my mom's and Cyrus' or with Gisella at times… then you are certainly delusional! As for Dan…" she continued as she slightly softened her demeanor.

_Uh, uh, uh_  
_I don't believe you wanna leave like this_  
_I don't believe I just had my last real kiss_  
_I do believe we'll laugh and reminisce_  
_Wait a minute, don't bounce, baby, let's talk about this, man_

_Well, I'm bouncin' and I'm out, son_  
_I gotta leave you alone  
_

Chuck let out a caustic chuckle. "You just called that Brooklynite by his first name… now I know I've witnessed everythi-"

"I SAID DON'T INTERRUPT ME, CHUCK! You have absolutely no jurisdiction over who I see and talk to… and what I do about it, especially in regards to Dan! That goes for whether or not we are engaged, Chuck!" Blair was becoming very agitated and distressed by the way her voice clipped the end of her sentence.

_'Cause I'm good holdin' down my spot_  
_And I'm good reppin' the girls on the block_  
_And I'm good, I got this thing on lock_  
_So without me you'll be fine, right_

_All my pride is all I have_  
_(Pride is what you had, baby girl, I'm what you have)_  
_You'll be needin' me, but too bad_  
_(Be easy, don't make decisions when you mad)_  
_The path you chose to run alone_  
_(I know you're independent, you can make it on your own)_  
_Here with me you had a home, oh, yeah_  
_(But time is of the essence, why spend it alone, huh)_

"That's funny that you mention being engaged Blair, because from my understanding of these photos I have… they imply something of a totally different nature. Yes, we're engaged… but I wonder… why are you so fixated on Dan all of a sudden? It's been what… like two years when you stood on that rooftop with me and said that you were all in? I betted on us and I'll be damned if I lose everything, Blair!"

_The nights I waited up for you (Oh, boy)_  
_Promises you made about comin' through_  
_So much time you wasted_  
_That's why I had to replace you_

_Uh, uh, uh_  
_It makes a cat nervous, the thought of settlin' down_  
_Especially me, I was creepin' all over town_  
_I thought my tender touch could lock you down_  
_I knew I had you, as cocky as it sounds_  
_The way you used to giggle before i put it down_  
_It's better when you angry, come here, I'll prove it now, come here_

_Stop playin, you gamin'_  
_I gotta leave you alone  
_

Practically shoving the photos in Blair's face, Chuck advances back to their liquor cabinet to pour himself another drink while mumbling shit to himself that sounds almost inaudible. _God_ knows he needs another drink to trudge through this "talk". This time he leaves the bottle on the counter – hammering it down the way a judge hammers his gavel – signifying that this conversation is far from over and that he will be refilling his glass throughout the evening.

_'Cause I'm good holdin' down my spot (Stop actin' like that)_  
_And I'm good reppin' the girls on the block (Now you_  
_know you need to stop)_  
_And I'm good, I got this thing on lock_  
_So without me you'll be fine, right (Here we go)_

_All my pride is all I have_  
_(Pride is what you had, baby girl, I'm what you have)_  
_You'll be needin' me, but too bad_  
_(Be easy, don't make decisions when you mad)_  
_The path you chose to run alone_  
_(I know you're independent, you can make it on your own)_  
_Here with me you had a home, oh, yeah_  
_(But time is of the essence, why spend it alone, huh)  
_

Blair, who sat motionless with a blank face, was as white as Justin Bieber's rapping skills. Several photos were scrunched into her now sweaty palms (she never sweated, so that was another issue altogether) as she fought the tears that began to brim her eyelids.

_People make mistakes to make up, to break_  
_To wake up cold and lonely, chill, baby, you know me_  
_You love me, I'm like your homey_  
_Instead of beef you come hold me_  
_I promise I'm not a phony_  
_Don't bounce, baby, console me, come here_

_Ain't nothin' you can say to me that can change my mind_  
_I gotta let you go now_  
_And nothin' will ever be the same, so just be on your way_  
_Go 'head and do your thing now_  
_And there's no more to explain to me, you know_  
_I know your game and I'm feelin' what you do  
_

If there is one thing that Chuck has learnt about Blair over the years, it's that she doesn't lie down when backed into a corner… she fights back. She will put up a cold front and make minion wannabes revert to the fetal position just from her snide remarks or sniveling glares; she will gladly threaten to remove a guy's vital organs if they get too handsy with her; and she can and will ruin anyone's reputation who crosses her path. That was what had drawn Chuck back to Blair over and over again!

_So I'm bouncin' and I'm out, son_  
_I gotta leave you alone, yeah, yeah_

_All my pride is all I have_  
_(Pride is what you had, baby girl, I'm what you have)_  
_You'll be needin' me, but too bad_  
_(Be easy, don't make decisions when you mad)_  
_The path you chose to run alone_  
_(I know you're independent, you can make it on your own)_  
_Here with me you had a home, oh, yeah_  
_(But time is of the essence, why spend it alone, huh)  
_

But as he stood stiff, waiting for her to respond, waiting for her to do or say something… _anything_, it struck Chuck that Dan Humphrey broke through the impermeable wall that held the real Blair Waldorf. This… this Blair was not the Blair that once enjoyed plotting schemes that it felt like a mind-blowing orgasm. This was all because of some washed-up rock star's son that had been once deemed as Serena's new chew toy. That thought brought an unwavering anger to the surface for Chuck. By now, he had drowned his third glass of bourbon. Having had enough of Blair's silence practically mocking him, Chuck felt the need to escalate the situation because that would be the only way to shake the truth from her. He knew exactly how to kick it into high gear or _what _exactly, rather.

_All my pride is all I have_  
_(Pride is what you had, baby girl, I'm what you have)_  
_You'll be needin' me, but too bad_  
_(Be easy, don't make decisions when you mad)_  
_The path you chose to run alone_  
_(I know you're independent, you can make it on your_  
_own)_  
_Here with me you had a home, oh, yeah_  
_(But time is of the essence, why spend it alone, huh)_

_I promise you_  
_You know what I'm sayin'  
_

"My good friend, Mathieu, took some wonderful snapshots, didn't he? I really like the ones where you were constantly looking over your shoulder at the park, thinking someone was watching you. Paranoid much? Well, I guess you didn't observe as close as you thought, Blair. Then we have your little field trips to Dan's condo and his office. Who would've guessed Blair Waldorf would go from legendary schemer to a jealous ex-lover turned stalker over Serena's old and stale leftovers. But that's not all of I have in my possession. There is one other thing I have that would hurt you, the way you've been hurting me behind my back!"

"What more could you have Chuck?" She was nervous and Chuck knew it – he was a shark that could sense her fear – which made his victory every bit sweeter when he presented Blair with his coupe de grace.

A show of horror shot through Blair's entire body, tensing her up dramatically.

"By that display, it seems you are quite familiar with that piece of paper, am I not mistaken?"

"How the hell did you get this? Answer me Chuck!"

_The rain falls on my windows  
And a coldness runs through my soul  
And the rain falls, oh the rain falls  
I don't want to be alone  
_

"Well, where it was placed was not really considered a decent hiding place. It was practically _begging_ me to find it. But if you must know, I was just looking for a pen and a pad of post-its one afternoon. I was making a bid on behalf of Bass Industries and I needed to get in touch with a foreign third-party. I scrounged around my office and found none, so I figured you'd supply some. Moving some papers inside your desk, I thought nothing of anything until an ivory white envelope roused my curiosity. Since we are engaged, I figured what's mine is yours and vice versa. Lo and behold the content of the envelope was a letter written by a jilted lover with his sappy words of bullshit! From there, I decided to hire Mathieu's services to see if Humphrey would continue to be a pest in our lives… but in turns out you began pestering _him_! When we ran into Dan and Sienna at Café de Flore, it only confirmed my suspicions about your feelings for him. Those feelings are still festering somewhere deep inside of you. You looked at him like you wanted to jump his bones… I would know because you would look at me like that… once upon a time! I don't get what you ever saw, or should I say, **see** in him! Are you tired of fucking me? _Was he that good of a lay?_"

_I wish that I could Photoshop all our bad memories  
Because the flashbacks, oh the flashbacks  
Won't leave me alone  
_

Word after word that flowed from Chuck's lips angered Blair more by the second. Her patience was running out and her temper was flaring. Rage boiled through her in the disgusting manner Chuck was speaking about Dan. Blair barely had a chance to think of her actions. The only thought running through the brunette's head was getting Chuck to shut the fuck up.

_If you come back to me  
I'll be all that you need  
Baby, come back to me  
Let me make up for what happened in the past  
_

Pursing her lips and raising her hand back, Blair threw her hand forward as hard as she could, whipping it across Chuck's egotistical face. The crack of skin contacting skin echoed off the walls. Vibrations of pain started in her palm and spread all the way to the fingertips. Within seconds, Blair caught sight of her palm that was bright red, the same red mark that matched the one on the **Basshole's** face. His eyes wide, Chuck bore through Blair's own brown orbs as his hand slowly felt the fire red cheek.

_Baby come back to me (come back)  
I'll be everything you need (come back)  
Baby come back to me (come back)  
Boy, you're one in a million (come back)  
Baby come back to me (come back)  
I'll be everything you need (come back)  
Baby come back to me (come back)  
You're one in a million (one in a million)  
_

"How dare you!? How dare you make these pathetic accusations, when Audrey is dreaming in her nursery just down the hallway!? How dare you ask me these _**repulsive**_ questions to begin with, Chuck!?

Chuck should've felt some kind of remorse for his words; it's why he received a blunt slap to the face from his fiancé. But he didn't. Not one organ in his body could produce guilt for those actions.

An indifference spread across Blair's face and with a flick of her hair, she whirled on her heel and marched away to Audrey's nursery. The short-lived glimpse of Queen B never looked back to see Chuck watch her leave. Blair felt she had said the final word. She was getting ahead of herself however.

"I am going to collect Audrey and take her somewhere where she can have fun without having to see her father like…"

_Lower East Side of Manhattan  
She goes shopping for new clothes  
And she buys this  
And she buys that  
Just leave her alone  
_

Racing behind Blair before she could enter the hallway as best as he could after consuming three glasses of bourbon, Chuck coercively latched onto his fiancé' bare arm and dragged her around to face him once more. She struggled as she avoided meeting Chuck's cutting glower.

_I wish that he would listen to her side of the story  
It isn't that bad  
It isn't that bad  
And she's wiser for it now  
_

"Like what, Blair? An aggressive drunk? Where are you planning to take our daughter, anyways? I'm her father and I have every right to know! And don't you _dare_ say you are going to lean on Dan's shoulder! He won't be there for you nor will I ever let him be, for you or for Audrey!"

_I admit I cheated  
Don't know why I did it  
But I do regret it  
Nothing I can do or say can change the past  
_

"Is that a threat Chuck!? Are you seriously threatening to take away Audrey from me?!"

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't… it's your call if you want it to be. You can either run to Dan with the risk of handling the rejection without your daughter… or you can keep all of your winnings with me. It's as simple as that!"

And with that heavy statement, Chuck finally let go of her arm that will surely leave a bruise in the morning. It will remind her of how serious Chuck is this time around.

_Baby come back to me (come back)  
I'll be everything you need (come back)  
Baby come back to me (come back)  
Boy, you're one in a million (come back)  
Baby come back to me (come back)  
I'll be everything you need (come back)  
Baby come back to me (come back)  
You're one in a million (one in a million)  
_

With a lowered voice, Chuck speaks once more, "Blair… I've been sitting and stewing about this for far too long now. I need you to answer the following question, truthfully."

Blair simply nodded.

"When I proposed… the… the reason why you hesitated in your answer… was it because you felt like choosing me over Humphrey was a mistake?"

_Everything I ever did  
Heaven knows I'm sorry babe  
I was too dumb to see  
You were always there for me  
And my curiosity got the better of me  
Baby take it easy on me  
_

Blair opened her mouth and wanted the floodgates of words to rush out, but anything she said would never satisfy him. So instead, silence filled the space between them.

The silence was Chuck's answer.

Finally gaining enough courage, Blair tried to make her reasons. "Chuck, when you asked me to marry you, our moment was finally happening. The way we had always talked about it. When someone hands you your fairytale, you don't ask questions. You think you would but you don't know until it is right in front of you."

_Anything from A to Z  
Call me what you wanna but  
I open my heart to be  
You are my priority  
Can't you see you punished me  
More than enough already  
Baby take it easy on me  
_

"If we were to go back to the rooftop that evening, knowing everything up to this moment, would you go back in time and walk away from me, Blair?"

"I… I… I don't know to be honest. If I did, I would not have Audrey now."

"You wouldn't have our version of Audrey, but a girl who would grow up with brunette curls and a fondness of English literature."

"I don't know if I would walk away then, if I could go back in time… but I think I'm walking away now."

_Baby, take it easy on me  
Baby come back to me  
Baby come back to me  
_

Chuck's face and heart dropped to the floor all at once. "This is about Dan isn't it? Are you really going to come between him and his fiancé?" he asked a moment later after having tried to comprehend Blair's words.

"No, this is about me, Chuck!" she volleyed back with sharpness.

"Fine! But just remember that that loser is headed nowhere fast, and you know it!"

Walking towards Chuck, Blair slid the large and magnificent Harry Winston engagement ring off and handed it back to Chuck.

"Goodbye Chuck. Once and for all, this is goodbye…" as tears welled up in Blair's eyes without relent. "I'll find a hotel suite and send for my things but I want Audrey with me until something is arranged."

"She's yours… for now. Whether or not you end up with Humphrey is not my problem, nor do I really care but if all of this _shit_ blows up in your face… I want Audrey to be in no part of it! You'll be hearing from my lawyer soon!"

"You can send all of your greedy and corrupt lawyers all you want at me Chuck, but there is no way on this Earth I will ever let you or anyone tear my daughter away from me! I was once Queen B but as of now… I'm Mother B!"

_Baby come back to me (come back)  
I'll be everything you need (come back)  
Baby come back to me (come back)  
Boy, you're one in a million (come back)  
Baby come back to me (come back)  
I'll be everything you need (come back)  
Baby come back to me (come back)  
You're one in a million (one in a million)  
_

"Blair, after reading his letter, did you ever write one to him in response? Did you reveal how you feel about him? Did you ever give it to him, if so, did he read it or say anything?"

There were no words, just more dead silence before Blair's heels clicked further and further away from him.

Again, the silence was Chuck's answer.

_Baby come back to me (come back)  
I'll be everything you need (come back)  
Baby come back to me (come back)  
Boy, you're one in a million (come back)  
Baby come back to me (come back)  
I'll be everything you need (come back)  
Baby come back to me (come back)  
You're one in a million (one in a million)  
_

Blair began packing stuff for Audrey and herself; the tables were turned as Chuck was now left motionless. Eying his sweat-infested palm, the object that lingered atop it was a heavy burden to possess. It is an anchor of his heart plummeting beneath the depths of the Earth's core. _It was certainly the return of the ring's…rejection.  
_

_Na na na na, na na na na, na na na na na na, na na na...  
_


	10. You've Been on My Mind

_This chapter is kind of a long filler chapter. Sorry! It features a bunch of flashbacks in Dan's POV. The flashbacks go way back to Dan's first development of his feelings for Blair to flashbacks as recent as his conversation with Sienna regarding Serena (I've indicated these flashbacks). It might be a bit confusing and jumpy, but I'll try to make it as easy to understand as possible. Some flashbacks are moments from the show, others are just my views. These flashbacks give insight to how bad Blair burned him and his current predicament in his thoughts, actions, and subconscious reactions. There are only mentions of Serena in this chapter, but the next will have a Blerena face-off. So stoked for that chapter! Also in that chapter, a couple will make an appearance in Paris to be Dan's sounding board. _

_I read a review that was displeased with my portrayal of Chuck and the handling of Audrey's situation. I'm sorry if it has offended anyone. I've gone back and read it over, and I may have come across as uncaring… but I do though. I've never gone through that kind of situation myself, so I'm trying to work the angle as best as I can. I've read it over but did not make any changes because that is what I felt in the moment and I don't like changing those moments, normally. _

_Sidenote: I like my readers to learn more about me, so I may put a sidenote for each chapter, unless everyone is annoyed… then I'll scrap that idea. I felt like I needed to share this though. I had a really strange dream, but before I tell it I must say that I like Ed Westwick. I like Chuck when separated from Blair but his whispering is seriously creepy at times. To be honest, I was a Chair shipper… until the hotel fiasco… then I aborted ship. Anyways, for those around the world who watch or have watched WWE – I dreamt that Chuck was Batista Bombed by Batista, AA'd (or FU'd – I like that way better) by John Cena, then RKO'd and punted by Randy Orton. To top it off, Chuck was kicked in the groin by Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Maria, and Mickie James. I don't know why I dreamt that but I found a certain satisfaction from it. _

_**Song lyrics in this chapter:**__ "I Want You" – Andrew Allen, "Let Me Love You" – Mario, "Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)" – Ne-Yo, "Lego House" – Ed Sheeran, "Loving You Tonight" – Andrew Allen, "Lie to Me" – George, "Fallout" – Marianas Trench, "Talking to the Moon" – Bruno Mars (similar to "It Will Rain"), and "A Little Too Not Over You" – David Archuleta_

_Thankfully, I don't own the terribleness that is GG! But I do own the mistakes in this chapter and story! Enjoy and R&R as always plz! _

* * *

The morning light shone bright and early through the drapes today. This blinding light awoke Dan, much to his chagrin. After a few groggy attempts, Dan finally ended up in an upright position but quickly realized he was not in familiar surroundings. He was not in his comfortable bed with the warmth of Sienna sleeping soundly against him. Instead, Dan apparently slept on a cool leather pull out couch with a fort of blankets around him.

Throwing the blankets off to the side, without much care, Dan stood up – a little too suddenly – and was struck with a ferocious sting to his head.

"Here, take these."

Wordlessly, the writer took the aspirin and glass of water from the outreached hand.

"Brady, how the hell did I end up sleeping on your couch?"

"You honestly don't remember Dan? Well, you were pretty plastered so I don't blame you. From what I understood from your slurring early this morning, you and Sienna had a fight. You left to get drinks at the pub… without me by the way… and showed up here around two in the morning drunk as fuck. I'm surprised you even got here with barely a scratch in the shape you were in! Evangeline felt pity seeing you like that so she let you crash here so you wouldn't go fuck up the streets. You bitched on the couch for a bit then you just dropped."

"Wow. I really need to go buy your wife a gift for her hospitality."

"Look, I don't know what you and Sienna were arguing about, although I have my theories, but both of you need to calm down and work it out. Give her some space for a few hours today, but not long… then go fix this. Use these hours to fix yourself up first because you look and smell like shit, buddy."

"Haha" Dan replys dryly.

"Evangeline's waiting for me downstairs. She and I are leaving for some errands, so you have the place to yourself for a while. I do not want you drinking anything that will give you buzz while we are gone, that includes mouth wash! Here's my key, lock-up when you leave."

Grabbing his jacket from the hook, Brady was headed out and only turned around when Dan called out his name.

"Thanks."

Giving Dan a simple nod of understanding, Brady shut the door behind him. Dan was left standing alone in the kitchen with a headache, with only his buzzed thoughts to keep him company.

Dan shut the drapes; it was too early for him to enjoy the day's golden beams – which, as writer – would give him devices to describe a certain blonde.

After taking a refreshing shower, the moppy-headed man felt rejuvenated and ready to conquer the day. Fixing himself a generous amount of cereal, he ate eat in peaceful silence, with the exception of the crunching of his Frosted Flakes.

For the hours he spent in his friend's house, Dan's mind was on overload as he volleyed back between memories and thoughts of his past and present.

* * *

**Flashback – Argument with Sienna**

After "catching up" with Serena, Sienna and I dropped her off safely at her hotel. Though the car ride from Serena's hotel to our condo was not far – like Sienna previously mentioned – the drive seemed to drag on forever. We were silent. I didn't want to yell and she was probably thinking of the right words to say.

The situation blew up rather quickly as soon as we stepped inside the condo. I couldn't contain myself any longer.

"Tell me about you and Serena. _Everything_. And I want the **truth**."

"Like I told you Dan, Serena and I have been old friends. I did not tell you that I knew her because I knew how irate you were with her when you last mentioned her. But I felt like I had to bring her here now to help mend your issues. Please Dan, we are getting married. You have to know I did not mean to upset you more, but I just felt…"

"What? You felt to control the state of my relationships with certain people. You want to fix mine with Serena so you can have a friend back in your life or to remind me of the toxicity of the Upper East Side and somehow cut my ties with Blair because you feel threatened?"

"For the last time Dan this is not –"

"Don't you **dare** say this isn't about Blair! The more you try to deny it isn't, the more obvious it becomes that you are insecure and feel threatened by her mere presence around me."

"How can I _not_? I noticed the way you gazed at her at the coffee house, don't try to deny _that_! Even now, after all this time, you look at her with the same eyes as you did when you wrote about her… the good and the bad. In _Inside_, you wrote about Clair's scent of Chanel No. 5 right down to the minute detail; don't tell me that it's just a coincidence that Blair's Chanel No. 5 smells just like the description in the novel."

"I feel nothing for Blair! We are not even friends! We are just names separated by a conjunction or punctuation marks. But Sienna, stop trying to change the subject! _**Serena. Now**_."

Serena went to Connecticut to escape her mistakes. Sienna travelled from Italy to explore the American culture and had relatives in Cornwall. They went to Knightly together. They became fast friends. Serena, the blonde bombshell contrasted well with Sienna, the spunky red-head. They travelled to Italy and attended fashion shows. They flirted with boys in Connecticut. Serena never mentioned Blair or Nate. Sienna would always mention finding an amazing Italian man to marry one day.

She went on to say that she began to distance herself from Serena during her drug stage. Sienna tried to help Serena see what was happening to her… but was fed up. They lost contact. Sienna travelled back home to Italy. Serena returned to New York. Life went on. They tried to reach out to one another on a few occasions… and eventually they reconnected.

When I came into Sienna's life, Serena was pleased to hear her old friend found someone. That someone being me. When Serena learnt it was me, she was happy that I found happiness without Blair. Apparently Serena believed Sienna is the most suitable candidate for happiness.

How was I not aware of any of this? I felt like I was seeing another side of Sienna, listening to adventures she experienced with Serena that she failed to mention at any point of our relationship.

I couldn't bear all of this info being bombarded at me. I needed to leave. I needed a drink…_badly_. After more of a screaming match, I snatched a coat and pulled a disappearing act.

**End flashback**

So that's how Dan ended up crashing at Brady's place.

* * *

**Flashback – Internship at W**

Walking into my new internship thanks to Lily, I was unsure of what to expect. Certainly W was not a top listing for an internship in my books, but it was an internship nonetheless. I would be able to add new talents to my repertoire while showcasing my talent for writing. W is neither Condé Nast nor Simon and Schuster Publications but it is still highly regarded.

I know to "expect the unexpected" like the motto Big Brother is known for but stepping into the office I barely saw the minion-esque wannabes as all I saw was Blair Waldorf. She wore the same ghastly look of annoyance and shock I was.

_Oh. This was going to be interesting._

During our internship at W, Blair and I were marking our territory in this industry by one-upping each other. She would put Chanel No. 5 in Epperly's (our boss) coffee that was made by the other interns; I would nonchalantly walk in with my version of a mind-blowing cup of coffee while Blair would glare from afar. We'd fight over a STAPLER and she'd win because she mentioned Milo, but really, I just _let _her win. Though I was pleasantly surprised to learn that she did know how to staple, I assumed Dorota took charge of that duty. I practically made Blair's eyeballs pop out of their sockets even, with my newfound knowledge and appreciation for women's designer heels.

We eventually got fired from our internships, after making a mockery of ourselves at a gala. I nobly helped Blair regain her position because I felt guilty, only for her to quit because she was overly stressed.

Throughout this whole ordeal that started out as us battling against each other, she and I ended up as better friends. Best friends even. Blair Waldorf and Dan Humphrey – best friends. Maybe, just maybe… even more than friends.

No! That was not a thought I was willing to dwell on. Although, throughout those days Blair and I were undermining one another, I started to get these faint thoughts about her. Sometimes even physically, when I was around her… something felt different. It was odd yet welcoming. These were only fleeting thoughts however; c'mon this is Blair Waldorf we are talking about! She was Queen B, after all!

But these moments I felt never disappeared. They seemed to be manifesting as time went on.

**End flashback**

_I don't wanna wait for tomorrow cause tonight  
I keep playing this over in my mind  
I shoulda kissed you but I missed  
Am I out of time  
_

_Because I never thought that you might leave me behind  
And I'm hoping that I get one more try  
I shoulda kissed you but I missed  
Am I out of time  
_

_I never wanna be the one to say  
How could I let you slip away  
And I'm never gonna watch you fall apart  
I shoulda told you from the start  
And I'm late but now I'm running  
Please wait for me I'm coming  
Never gonna wait another day  
I finally found the words to say  
I want you __[x3]__  
_

_Cause when you look at me I know you feel it too  
And your eyes keep telling me maybe there's room  
You shoulda kissed me did you miss  
That I wanted you ooh  
_

_And I never wanna be the one to say  
How could I let you slip away  
And I'm never gonna watch you fall apart  
I shoulda told you from the start  
And I'm late but now I'm running  
Please wait for me I'm coming  
Never gonna wait another day  
I finally found the words to say  
I want you  
_

_If you wait if you wait for me I'll finally say  
What you mean what you mean to me ooh  
Will you wait will you wait for me  
Cause I'm on my way I'm on my way  
_

_Cause I don't wanna wait for tomorrow  
Cause tonight I keep playing this over in my mind  
I shoulda kissed you but I missed  
Am I out of time  
_

_I never wanna be the one to say  
How could I let you slip away  
And I'm never gonna watch you fall apart  
I shoulda told you from the start  
And I'm late but now I'm running  
Please wait for me I'm coming  
Never gonna wait another day  
I finally found the words to say  
I want you [x3]_

Dan violently shook that memory away. He started falling for Blair Waldorf, though he would never acknowledge that at the time. He knew it was stupid, but his feelings couldn't be helped. Those feelings brought him joy, but for the most part they only brought him pain time and time again.

* * *

_Mmmm ... Mmmmm... Yeah...Mmmmm...Yeah, Yeah, Yeah  
Mmmm...Yeah...Mmmm... Yeah, Yeah_

_Baby I just don't get it_  
_Do you enjoy being hurt?_  
_I know you smelled the perfume, the make-up on his shirt_  
_You don't believe his stories_  
_You know that they're all lies_  
_Bad as you are, you stick around and I just don't know why_

_If I was ya man (baby you)  
Never worry bout (what I do)  
I'd be coming home (back to you)  
Every night, doin' you right  
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)  
Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)  
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)_

_You should let me love you_  
_Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need_  
_Baby good love and protection_  
_Make me your selection_  
_Show you the way love's supposed to be_  
_Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you_

_Listen_  
_Your true beauty's description looks so good that it hurts_  
_You're a dime plus ninety-nine and it's a shame_  
_Don't even know what you're worth_  
_Everywhere you go they stop and stare_  
_Cause you're bad and it shows_  
_From your head to your toes, Out of control, baby you know_

_If I was ya man (baby you)  
Never worry bout (what I do)  
I'd be coming home (back to you)  
Every night doin' you right  
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)  
Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)  
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)_

_You should let me love you_  
_Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need_  
_Ooh Baby good love and protection_  
_Make me your selection_  
_Show you the way love's supposed to be_  
_Baby you should let me..._

_You deserve better girl (you know you deserve better)_  
_We should be together girl (baby)_  
_With me and you it's whatever girl, hey!_  
_So can we make this thing ours?_

_You should let me love you_  
_Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need_  
_Baby good love and protection_  
_Make me your selection_  
_Show you the way love's supposed to be_

_Baby you should let me love you  
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need  
That good love and protection  
Make me your selection  
Show you the way love's supposed to be  
_

_You should let me love you  
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need  
Good love and protection(protection)  
Make me your selection(selection)  
Show you the way love's supposed to be yeah_

_Let me love you that's all you need baby_

* * *

**Flashback – Cut on Blair's cheek**

When I learnt a piece of glass cut Blair's cheek, indirectly caused by Chuck's fist, I wanted to beat Chuck and then hurl. _Who does that to someone they claim to love? Who does that to someone in general?_

Blair didn't tell me… she was too afraid to. I had an inkling of suspicion and filled in the bits and pieces that Blair would occasionally let slip. I found those little slips to be alarming to me because Blair Waldorf was not one to let something just slip from her mouth; she was very tight-lipped when it comes to her own issues.

I didn't press her further on the matter however.

But as I sat on the couch at the loft with Blair snuggled next to me as we watched _The Philadelphia Story_, I couldn't focus on the movie at all. I just kept thinking about her situation with Chuck. It wasn't love. It wasn't even morally right. If only I could open her eyes to see what love should be?

By the time the credits rolled, Blair was already down for the count; her head leaning against my shoulder as she breathed in and out and dreamt of her fairytale with Chuck. I was lulled to a sound sleep by her breathing, the scent of Chanel No. 5 invading my nostrils, and my thoughts of loving Blair Waldorf.

**End flashback**

_Much as you blame yourself, you can't be blamed for the way that you feel  
Had no example of a love that was even remotely real  
How can you understand something that you never had?  
Ooh, baby, if you let me, I can help you out with all of that_

_Girl let me love you_  
_And I will love you_  
_Until you learn to love yourself_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_And all your trouble_  
_Don't be afraid, girl let me help_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_And I will love you_  
_Until you learn to love yourself_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_A heart of numbness gets brought to life_  
_I'll take you there_

_Girl let me love you_  
_Girl let me love you, baby, oh_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_Girl let me love you, baby_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_Let me love you, let me love you, oh_

_I can see the pain behind your eyes_  
_It's been there for quite a while_  
_I just wanna be the one to remind you what it is to smile_  
_I would like to show you what true love can really do_

_Girl let me love you_  
_And I will love you_  
_Until you learn to love yourself_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_And all your trouble_  
_Don't be afraid, girl let me help_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_And I will love you_  
_Until you learn to love yourself_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_A heart of numbness, gets brought to life_  
_I'll take you there_

_Girl let me love you, baby_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_Let me love you, let me love you, baby_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_Girl let me love you, baby_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_Let me love you, girl let me love you, baby_

_For every heart that beats_  
_For every heart that beats_  
_For every heart that beats_  
_For every heart that beats_  
_Heart that beats_  
_Heart that beats_  
_Heart that beats_  
_Heart that beats_

_Girl let me love you_  
_And I will love you_  
_Until you learn to love yourself_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_And all your trouble_  
_Don't be afraid, girl let me help_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_And I will love you_  
_Until you learn to love yourself_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_A heart of numbness, gets brought to life_  
_I'll take you there_

_Girl let me love you_  
_Let me love you, baby, love you, baby_  
_Girl let me love you_  
_Let me love you babe, love you babe, ooh-ooh-ah_

* * *

**Flashback – Blair's Pregnancy**

"Could you ever love another man's child?"

That was the question Blair posed to me.

My thoughts immediately ran back to my summer with Georgina and Milo. Though I learnt Milo was not mine biologically, I still loved him like he was my own; I knew in my heart he was.

"Yes."

I had been Blair's friend that was just lurking in the backdrop of her suitors for a while now. I'm becoming sick of it! But I guess I'm a true sadist in nature because I'd rather be just a lonely friend in her life than have her without mine.

She came to me with her most pressing problems. I understood her to a level no one else could possibly achieve or imagine.

Blair was pregnant. She was happy. There was one problem though. She had no clue whether the father was Louis, her fiancé and the Prince of Monaco or the love of her life, Chuck Bass.

Whatever happened to the paternity and the aftermath because of it, I promised Blair Waldorf one thing:

"_You'll always have me."_

**End flashback**

_I'm gonna pick up the pieces,  
And build a Lego house  
If things go wrong we can knock it down  
_

_My three words have two meanings,  
There's one thing on my mind  
It's all for you  
_

_And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm  
If you're broken I will mend you and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now  
_

_I'm out of touch, I'm out of love  
I'll pick you up when you get down  
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now  
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind  
I'll do it all for you in time  
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now  
_

_I'm gonna paint you by numbers  
And colour you in  
If things go right we can frame it and put you on a wall  
_

_And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before  
Now I'll surrender up my heart  
And swap it for yours  
_

_I'm out of touch, I'm out of love  
I'll pick you up when you get down  
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now  
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind  
I'll do it all for you in time  
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now  
_

_Don't hold me down  
I think my braces are breaking, and it's more than I can take  
_

_And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm  
If you're broken I will mend you and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now  
_

_I'm out of touch, I'm out of love  
I'll pick you up when you get down  
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now  
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind  
I'll do it all for you in time  
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now  
_

_I'm out of touch, I'm out of love  
I'll pick you up when you get down  
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now  
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind  
I'll do it all for you in time  
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now  
_

_I'm out of touch, I'm out of love  
I'll pick you up when you get down  
And out of all these things I've done I will love you better now_

Making that promise to Blair Waldorf was something Dan Humphrey wanted to forget so badly for the years to come in his life.

* * *

**Flashback – Feeding the ducks**

Strolling down the duck pond, hand-in-hand – with the other hand held loaves of bread – Blair and I were on our way to feeding the ducks. Feeding the ducks had been therapeutic for Blair since she was a little girl whenever she dealt with a problem. It was Blair's favorite past-time…and by extension… mine, as well.

After sometime, I took a break and sat on the bench just observing in awe at Blair. She was attractive physically, emotionally, and mentally. Blair was a total 180° of Serena, which is why we meshed so well.

We've come a long way from despising each other to calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend.

I haven't said 'I love you' yet, but I plan to soon. I believe you should wait for the right time and right person to say those words to. I feel like that time is coming shortly. I don't like to be to forward like Serena at times, but I also don't want to hold out on someone for months like Blair and Chuck had. If I feel it then I have to express it; I am a writer after all!

As crazy and cliché as it sounds… I can really see myself having a meaningful future with Blair Waldorf!

Our future would go something like this:

I'll say "Hey!"  
She'll say "Baby, how's your day?"  
I'll say "Crazy!"  
But it's all going to be alright  
She'll kiss my smile  
I'll pull her closer  
Spend a while just getting to know her  
I'll love her tonight

**End flashback**

_Lost in the day, in a way, it's same as the one before this,  
And I wish I could say that's it's all black and white  
But it's grey. It's the same, it's the same and I'm so tired  
But you are what I'm coming home to  
_

_Oh and I'm thinking about a red wine buzz and takin' it easy,  
And I got you in my arms, takin' a break from crazy  
_

_And I'll say "hey!"  
You'll say "baby, how's your day?"  
I'll say "crazy"  
But it's all gonna be alright  
You'll kiss my smile  
I'll pull you closer  
Spend a while just getting to know ya  
But it's gonna be all alright  
I'm loving you tonight  
Loving you tonight  
_

_And you are there on my heart at the start of my every morning  
And I can't deny by the end of the day that I'm running on empty  
But you make me full, steal my breath  
You're so unpredictable  
That's what I'm coming home to  
_

_Oh I'm dreaming about a romance, slow dancing with you  
When I got you in arms, I don't care what we do  
_

_And I'll say "hey!"  
You'll say "baby, how's your day?"  
I'll say "crazy"  
But it's all gonna be alright  
You'll kiss my smile  
I'll pull you closer  
Spend a while just getting to know ya  
But it's gonna be all alright  
I'm loving you tonight  
Loving you tonight  
_

_Every day is just the in-between  
The hours separating you from me  
I know you'll be waiting  
I know that you'll be waiting  
_

_And I'll say "hey!"  
You'll say "baby, how's your day?"  
I'll say "crazy"  
But it's all gonna be alright  
You'll kiss my smile  
I'll pull you closer  
Spend a while just getting to know ya  
But it's gonna be all alright  
I'm loving you tonight  
Loving you tonight_

Yes, that's the future Dan planned out for Blair and himself. Well… the future didn't pan out as he'd thought. His failed future is a thought that seems to creep up at the most unexpected and unwanted of times; he's tried to erase it but his writer's habits always lead him back to the "what ifs" of life.

* * *

_Why didn't I listen to my heart  
When she had me guessin' from the start  
More and more I wonder  
Why do I still want her  
After all the love I gave to you  
All this pain and all because of you_

_What am I supposed to do_  
_When it's all a lie_  
_Where am I supposed to go_  
_When it's dark outside_  
_What am I supposed to do_  
_When it's all a lie_  
_Lie to me __[6X]_

_One last time_

_Still had those letters from last fall_  
_And every time the phone rings_  
_Wish it was your call_  
_More and more I wonder_  
_Why do I still want her_  
_After all the love I gave to you_  
_All this pain I'm in because of you_

_What am I supposed to do_  
_When it's all a lie_  
_Where am I supposed to go_  
_When it's dark outside_  
_What am I supposed to do_  
_When it's all a lie_  
_Lie to me __[6X]__  
One last time_

_Why did you have to hurt (to hurt)_  
_Loved you for all your lies (your lies)_  
_One thing I know is true_  
_I'll never stop_  
_Lovin' you (lovin' you)_  
_So tell me_

_What am I supposed to do_  
_When it's all a lie_  
_Where am I supposed to go_  
_When it's dark outside_  
_What am I supposed to do_  
_When it's all a lie_  
_Won't you lie to me lie to me baby_  
_Lie to me lie to me baby_  
_Won't you lie to me baby_  
_One last time_

* * *

**Flashback – The Break-Up? (If you can even call it that)**

_It_ happened. Our time was up. I was being delusional, as usual.

I **knew** Blair would choose Chuck over me, I expected that much, but damn, I'd I least thought she'd sit me down and tell me to my face. I didn't expect her to be such a _cowardice_, sending me apologetic emails and phone messages. Ha! I'd never thought I'd say those words in the same sentence… Blair Waldorf and coward!

I gave her an ultimatum in my loft just hours ago… she wanted to be with me; I had her heart… at least for the moment.

Chuck and Blair on that damn rooftop. Thanks for giving me the truth Gossip Girl, when the one person I expect it from doesn't!

I guess you could say we broke up! Did we break-up?

I honestly don't know where we stand but I would not classify this moment as a decent break-up.

I was supposed to spend the summer in Rome with Blair by my side_. What the fuck happened?_

**Chuck Bass** – 'nuff said.

I'm at the Shepard's party. I had a few drinks. I just fucked Serena.

The UES is toxic; I understand that as clear as day now. They've fucked me over multiple times so it's about time to return the favor, ten-fold.

I will make the most out of my writer's retreat in Rome. I will single-handedly ruin the UES with a scathing tell-all novel. My two greatest resources being: Gossip Girl and Georgia Sparks.

Serena thinks that I'm only in love with Clair, the idolized version of Blair.

Before, I was so sure that I wasn't. Now? Now, I'm not sure about anything. Those lines have been blurred, indefinitely.

Maybe I was only in love with Clair the whole time… or maybe not? Who knows? Who _cares_?

I don't know the answers to any of those questions but maybe the answers lie at the bottom of this near empty bottle of Jack Daniels that I'm drowning.

**End flashback**

_An empty room,  
I'm empty too  
And everything reminds me of you  
So many things  
I shouldn't have missed  
The more that I push  
And the more you resist  
It's easy to say it's for the best  
When you want more  
While you leave me with less  
_

_I know you're fine, but what do I do?  
I know you're fine, but what do I do?  
_

_I'm awake, and trying  
While you're sleeping like a babe  
Beside him  
I'm on the ledge while you're so  
God damn polite and composed  
And I know you see me,  
And you're making it look so easy  
What comes and goes,  
I'd go without  
_

_I know you're fine but what about  
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout  
Through the Fallout  
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout)  
You're the fallout  
_

_Well now there's him,  
And now there's me  
The secrets you give  
And the secrets you keep  
And nevertheless  
It's never you let  
The more that I give  
And the less that I get  
Don't tell me to fight,  
To fight for you  
After this long, I shouldn't have to  
_

_I know you're fine, but what do I do?  
I know you're fine, but what do I do?  
I'm awake, and trying  
While you're sleeping like a babe  
Beside him  
I'm on the ledge while you're so  
God damn polite and composed  
And I know you see me,  
And you're making it look so easy  
What comes and goes,  
I'd go without  
_

_I know you're fine but what about  
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout  
Through the Fallout  
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout)  
_

_I know you're fine but what about  
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout  
Through the Fallout  
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout)  
You're the fallout  
_

_I know you're fine, but what do I do?  
I know you're fine, but what do I do?  
_

_I know you're fine but what about  
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout  
Through the Fallout  
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout)  
_

_I know you're fine but what if I  
(Fallout)  
I'm awake, and trying  
While you're sleeping like a babe  
Beside him (Fallout)  
I'm on the ledge while you're so  
God damn polite and composed  
_

_(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout  
Through the Fallout  
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout  
Through the Fallout  
(Fallout) FALLOUT (fallout)  
FALLOUT_

* * *

**Flashback – Release of Cast Out**

The UES is rocked to the core. All because of _Cast Out_. All because of **my** book.

I've become the most sought-after novelist.

I've given _50 Shades of Grey_ a run for its money.

Critics and fans love me all the same.

UES residents however, do not.

I've been exiled from the UES. I don't care.

I'm famous, the talk of the town.

I've won accolades.

I've gone on book tours.

I've gotten a steady cash flow.

I've been interviewed on numerous occasions.

**I've been interviewed by Oprah Winfrey.**

There is talk of a movie adaptation. Hopefully no Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart.

Blair has moved on.

Well, she's moved on long before I had though.

Wasn't she the spearhead to _Cast Out_ to begin with?

I know she hates me because of the way her character flips from _Inside_ to _Cast Out_.

Chuck… Chuck's hatred is indifferent to me.

Serena, she's been off the grid.

Nate and Eric are still my buddies, though I haven't spoken to either in a long time.

I wish I was still friends with Vanessa.

My dad and Lily are on opposing sides, much to Bart's delight.

Jenny, Jenny is still in Hudson with mom, where it is the safest.

I sometimes look up at the moon from my window and still think about Blair Waldorf.

With some of my anger towards her subsiding, I still manage to wish her happiness.

I've moved away to Paris, with Sienna.

I'm writing different stories because of a different muse.

_I've moved on._

_Eventually, so does everyone else. _

**End flashback**

_I know you're somewhere out there  
Somewhere far away  
I want you back  
I want you back  
My neighbors think  
I'm crazy  
But they don't understand  
You're all I had  
You're all I had_

_At night when the stars_  
_Light up my room_  
_I sit by myself_  
_Talking to the Moon._  
_Trying to get to You_  
_In hopes you're on_  
_The other side_  
_Talking to me too._  
_Or Am I a fool_  
_Who sits alone_  
_Talking to the moon?_

_Ohoooo...  
_

_I'm feeling like  
I'm famous  
The talk of the town  
They say  
I've gone mad  
Yeah  
I've gone mad  
But they don't know  
What I know  
Cause when the  
Sun goes down  
Someone's talking back  
Yeah  
They're talking back  
Ohhh_

_At night when the stars_  
_Light up my room_  
_I sit by myself_  
_Talking to the moon._  
_Trying to get to You_  
_In hopes you're on_  
_The other side_  
_Talking to me too._  
_Or am I a fool_  
_Who sits alone_  
_Talking to the moon?_

_Ahh... Ahh... Ahh...  
Do you ever hear me calling  
(Ahh... Ahh... Ahh...)  
Ho hou ho ho hou  
_

_'Cause every night  
I'm talking to the moon  
_

_Still trying to get to you  
In hopes you're on  
The other side  
Talking to me too  
Or am I a fool  
Who sits alone  
Talking to the moon?  
_

_Ohoooo...  
_

_I know you're somewhere out there  
Somewhere far away_

* * *

**Present**

Dan's had enough of all these memories flooding his head. He needs to get out and about. He needs to fix things with Sienna. He loves her way too much to let her go so easily the way Blair had let him go.

Taking out his phone, Dan dialed a number he hadn't called for ages now. It began to ring and Dan was concerned the other end wasn't going to pick-up, but he was proven wrong.

"Hey, it's Dan."

"Hey, man! It's been forever!"

"I know." Taking his hand out of his jeans pocket, Dan scratched the back of his head in nervousness, a habit he still does.

"I know this is random and last minute, but can you somehow get to Paris, like ASAP? I really need you man."

"I'll see what I can do."

Hanging up the phone and grabbing Brady's key to lock-up, Dan was headed out the door, until he managed to trip over something.

It was a pile of Brady's dirty clothes.

Dan laughed as his friend was so reminiscent of himself and pushed the stack of clothes to the side. As he did this, a scene was flashed in his mind.

_The letter. Blair's letter._

Dan remembered. It must have slipped into his pile of dirty laundry as he hastily left after seeing Blair!

Speaking to himself, Dan says, "Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside and I turn around. You're with Chuck. I just can't figure it out. Tell me why you're so hard to forget Blair Waldorf. Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth. I guess I'm just a little too not over you."

Dan rushed out, knowing there would now be a dual purpose to return home.

_Oohhhh oh, oh..  
_

_It never crossed my mind at all.  
It's what I tell myself.  
What we had has come and gone.  
You're better off with someone else.  
It's for the best, I know it is.  
But I see you.  
Sometimes I try to hide  
What I feel inside,  
And I turn around.  
You're with him now.  
I just can't figure it out.  
_

_Tell me why you're so hard to forget.  
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.  
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.  
I'm just a little too not over you.  
Not over you...  
_

_Memories, supposed to fade.  
What's wrong with my heart?  
Shake it off, let it go.  
Didn't think it'd be this hard.  
Should be strong, movin' on.  
But I see you.  
Sometimes I try to hide  
What I feel inside.  
And I turn around,  
You're with him now.  
I just can't figure it out.  
_

_Tell me why you're so hard to forget.  
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.  
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.  
I'm just a little too not over you.  
_

_Maybe I regret everything I said,  
No way to take it all back, yeah...  
Now I'm on my own..  
How I let you go, I'll never understand.  
I'll never understand, yeah, oohh..  
Oohhh, oohhh, oohhhh..  
Oohhh, ooohhhh, oohhh.  
_

_Tell me why you're so hard to forget.  
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.  
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.  
I'm just a little too not over you.  
_

_Tell me why you're so hard to forget.  
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.  
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.  
And I really don't know what to do.  
I'm just a little too not over you.  
Not over you, oohhh.._


	11. Faceoffs, Friendships, and a Letter

_Here is another chapter my lovely Dairlings! _

_In my hurry to update amidst my hectic university life, I totally forgot to say in the previous chapter of author's notes: CONGRATULATIONS to newlyweds Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds! I found it to be a bit sudden and surprising, but I wish them happiness, nonetheless! (Esp. because Ryan is from my home city!) Also CONGRATULATIONS to Snooki and Jionni on their newborn son, Lorenzo or Enzo for short! That little Guido is going to be GTLing quite soon!_

_Sidenote 1: I heard she invited her costars from The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants but there have been no reports of Blake inviting anyone from GG. That's a little fucked up – c'mon you've worked alongside these people for 5-6 years and you don't invite them? Ok, maybe not Penn because they were exes or Leighton because I hear they are not friends off-set, but seriously – Do you have a beef with everyone else on the show, Blake?_

_Sidenote 2: I was randomly going back to previous seasons of GG and I noticed S3 when everyone was "supposed" to go to college. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THAT STORYLINE? It's like they had a bit with Dan and Blair at NYU but that was basically it so it could become the Chair show once again! Then S4 started in Paris! Stupid plot holes and lack of continuation! Seriously, way to drop the ball on that arc GG writers! (Sarcasm accompanied by huge eye roll on continuous loop). I really should've seen the shit hit the fan a lot sooner because of that! Anyways, I really liked Dan and Blair's interactions at NYU, so I'm happy to read fanfiction authors write college stories of them whether they are at NYU or Yale!_

_Sidenote 3: For those of you who watch Big Brother USA: OMFG I'M SO ECSTACTIC TO SEE IAN WIN! I really thought Dan would win again actually (although I've been rooting for Ian all season), because of his ballsy moves such as his "funeral." I respect him and his game, though others may view him as ruthless. Again, it's a freakin game worth $500 000, so make ballsy moves! GO BIG OR GO HOME! NO FLOATERS! BUT BE SMART AND STRATEGIZE! _

_Sidenote 4: Is the word SWAG dead or alive? I still use it! If it's dead though, I blame it entirely on Justin Bieber. I may be from Canada but I can't stand Justin Bieber! I LOVE Usher and Carly Rae Jepsen, and I like Selena Gomez, but I just don't like Justin Bieber! Anyways, KEEP CALM AND SWAG ON! _

_I'm happy to learn people like my sidenotes and my dream! I am pleased as well, that not many of you find the previous chapter confusing and that you agree about Chuck's whispering!_

_Shoutouts and thank-you's to: Magnus57 and frenchyy for submitting reviews for each chapter! Another shoutout to a guest reviewer, 2Legit2Quit, also for submitting many reviews. You should make an account so we can PM. To answer 2Legit2Quit's question of what I ate to dream a strange dream: one of my favorite meals – Salisbury steak with mashed potatoes and gravy, and seasoned veggies. _

_Song lyrics in this chapter: "Want You Back" by Cher Lloyd and "She Ain't You" by Chris Brown._

_I don't own GG but I own up to the fact I horribly suffered years and years' worth of the Chair show! Mistakes are all mine but I don't mind if you blame the GG writers, instead. Thanks for all of the support from people! As always R&R please! KEEP CALM AND SWAG ON! I WILL BE PERFECTING MY GANGNAM STYLE DANCE! _

* * *

Blair and Audrey spent the night at a hotel. Blair is finally free from the hold Chuck has over her. Although it seems a little too late because Dan's clearly moved on. And now, Blair has to think solely on Audrey and what will be beneficial for her. In the heat of the moment, Blair knew she and Chuck said nasty things to each other and that whatever happens, it will affect Audrey. So after sleeping on it, Blair is planning to be civil to Chuck. Well… as civil to him as she is to her, for Audrey's sake.

_Damn Humphrey! He warned me about everything going to hell! But did I listen, no of course not, as usual! Now the shit has hit the fan and Audrey may have to suffer through the childhood's both Chuck and I suffered through!_

Needing to get a piece of mind, Blair planned on talking a stroll through the park with Audrey for the day and maybe talking to Chuck about Audrey. Locomoting down the hotel hallway of her floor to the elevator, she was not pleased to see a blonde absentmindedly strolling to the elevators as well.

"_**Oh my freakin' god!**_ You have got be to kidding me! What kind of sick joke is this? Am I being Punk'd right now? Where's Ashton Kutcher?"

"Blair, if only you were being Punk'd, then everyone around the world could see your face right now! It's priceless! Oh! Who do we have here, a little baby wearing fashionable clothing? Is this Audrey Bass, who is wearing originals from Waldorf Designs, I presume?"

"Yes, this is my daughter, Audrey. And of course she is wearing Waldorf originals – I wouldn't want her growing up wearing tasteless trash like someone I know. That someone starts with **S** and ends with **ERENA**!"

Instead of responding to Blair, Serena whispers to Audrey's ear, "Beware of your mommy Audrey, because she is the big bad wolf."

Despite her petite stature, Blair tears Serena away from Audrey's stroller with a vice grip and slaps her – hard.

"How dare you! How dare you whisper into my daughter's ear that her mother is a big bad wolf! Who the _hell_ do you think you are?"

"**I'm Serena van der Woodsen**." Serena states blankly with a certain air of arrogance – the way Chuck would normally introduce himself to anyone.

"What are you doing here, Serena? I am on my way out so I don't have time for your drivel."

"Well, this is my hotel floor because as a visitor, I need to stay at a hotel, unlike you. Why are _you_ here Blair, aren't you supposed to be living in that mansion of a place with Chuck?"

"Our housemaid never lives up to my expectations, so I thought going to a hotel would give me decent service. Now that I know you are staying here as well, I'd rather suffer through our maid's inadequacies than be in the same vicinity as you!"

"**LIES!** I KNOW A BLAIR WALDORF LIE WHEN I SEE ONE! What happened now, Blair? Did Chuck fuck his secretary or did you fuck Dan? Oh wait…that was me wasn't it? Yes, he ended up crawling between my thighs! Where is Chuck right now? And tell me Blair, where's your engagement ring? Don't tell me you didn't realize you weren't wearing it or you are getting it resized! I just saw you yesterday afternoon with Chuck, with the ring perfectly fitted."

_**FUCK. **_

_THE ONE TIME SERENA IS NOT OBLVIOUS TO A SITUATION! I JUST WANT TO KICK THAT BITCH'S HEAD IN UNTIL BLOOD POURS OUT, LIKE THE MOVIE DRIVE WITH RYAN GOSLING! _

"Fine! You want the truth Serena? Chuck and I are over… for good this time! I realized I made a mistake but none of that matters except for Chuck and I being civilized adults when raising Audrey!"

"Oh come on Blair! You say you and Chuck are over, but everyone knows that's not true. It will be just a matter of time once again before it's the Chair show! What is it now, like the 913th time you've ended it? I can just imagine the timeline of your marriage! Probably shorter but more repetitive than Kim Kardashian!"

"Get out of my way, Serena! I'm not planning to warn you again! Why don't you just leave and never come into any of our lives ever again?"

"Well I can't exactly do that! At least not until I've completed what I've set out to do!"

"What would that be? To take Dan away from his fiancé, your friend? You certainly have had some experience in that department!"

"No, because I think Sienna is a good match for Dan, not you! Since you've given me the _"truth"_ I guess it would only be polite to return the favor. So Blair, my personal mission this time around is to **MUTILATE YOU TO COMPLETE AND UTTER NOTHINGNESS.** And you think I have experience taking things away from others, well look at you! You took Dan away from me! The one man who I truly loved and like everything else I've ever had, you wanted and had to manipulate into taking! You may have had Dan love you in a way that he never did for me, but you fucked that up, like you fuck up all your relationships! At least Dan can now clearly see you for who you really are!"

"Have fun trying to annihilate me, Serena because like many of your relationships, it's doomed for failure! I don't see why we were ever friends to begin with! We are always competing for everything! We hurt each other and then forgive each other!"

"I'm surprised you see that pattern with us but are completely blinded with your marry-go-round with Chuck. They are exactly the same thing!"

"This conversation is over!"

"Sure, this conversation is over but I'm far from over with destroying you, Blair – remember that!"

Blair finally got Audrey and herself into the elevator as Serena was headed towards the staircase. As the elevator doors began to close, Serena sticks her hand out to reopen the doors, just to enunciate some more garbage.

"One last thing Blair, now that you and Chuck are supposedly over, what do you plan to do? Are you just going to wait for Dan to make the same realization as you and end his engagement with Sienna? He waited on the sidelines for you for like a year, had his shot with you, and was shot down by you. Do you really think he is going to drop his happiness that he's been looking for since dating you, for a second chance that may end up hurting him more as a repeat performance from you? He's learnt the hard way because of me, that you should stop returning to the same person! That's all! You're dismissed!"

And with that, the elevator doors closed, sending Blair and Audrey down to the lobby from the 12th floor. The whole ride, Blair was filled with tears because Serena had a point about Dan. Blair was not patient like Dan and wouldn't expect him to leave Sienna for a "what if" scenario with her. Blair could care less about being destroyed by Serena but what fueled Blair was the thought of Serena coming anywhere near Audrey.

For now, Blair's thoughts of Dan would have to wait on the backburner. Right now, Blair has to do everything in her power to protect Audrey from the evil blonde wrath of Serena.

* * *

_Uh!  
Mmm, yeah.  
La la la la laaa  
Uh!  
_

_Hey, boy you never had much game  
Thought I needed to upgrade  
So I went and walked away way way  
Uh  
Now, I see you've been hanging out  
With that other girl in town  
Looking like a pair of clowns clowns clowns  
Uh  
_

_Remember all the things that you and I did first?  
And now you're doing them with her  
Remember all the things that you and I did first?  
You got me, got me like this  
Uh  
And now you're taking her to every restaurant  
And everywhere we went, come on!  
And now you're taking her to every restaurant  
You got me, got me like this  
Uh  
_

_Boy you can say anything you wanna  
I don't give a shh, no one else can have ya  
I want you back  
I want you back  
Wa-want you, want you back  
Uh  
I broke it off thinking you'd be cryin'  
Now I feel like shh looking at you flyin'  
I want you back  
I want you back  
Wa-want you, want you back  
Uh  
_

_Please, this ain't even jealousy (jealousy)  
She ain't got a thing on me (a thing on me)  
Tryin' to rock them ugly jeans jeans jeans  
Uh  
You clearly didn't think this through  
If what I've been told is true  
You'll be crawling back like boo hoo hoo  
Uh  
_

_Remember all the things that you and I did first?  
And now you're doing them with her  
Remember all the things that you and I did first?  
You got me, got me like this  
Uh  
And now you're taking her to every restaurant  
And everywhere we went, come on!  
And now you're taking her to every restaurant  
You got me, got me like this  
Uh  
_

_Boy you can say anything you wanna  
I don't give a shh, no one else can have ya  
I want you back  
I want you back  
Wa-want you, want you back  
Uh  
I broke it off thinking you'd be cryin'  
Now I feel like shh looking at you flyin'  
I want you back  
I want you back  
Wa-want you, want you back  
Uh  
_

_Ohhh, I thought you'd still be mine  
When I kissed you goodbye uh oh uh oh  
Ohhh, and you might be with her  
But I still had you first uh oh uh oh_

_Let's go! Astro!  
We used to be, but now there's a separation between you and me  
Baby I'm moving on to another girl that understands me more  
Dated her in front your place so you can see it all  
I remember the times, when we used to bond  
But I never realized that you wanted to be mine  
So I gave her the ring, instead of you, nickname too  
I can tell that you're upset, because it ain't you  
Met a new girl, and I gave her my heart  
Not noticing that you wanted me from the very start  
You want me back?  
We can just be friends, don't try this thing all over again  
_

_Ohhh-Oh-oh-oh  
Boy you can say anything you wanna  
I don't give a shh, no one else can have ya  
I want you back  
I want you back  
Wa-want you, want you back  
Uh  
I broke it off thinking you'd be cryin'  
Now I feel like shh looking at you flyin'  
I want you back  
I want you back  
Wa-want you, want you back  
Uh  
_

_(Let me know)_

_Ohhh, I want you back_  
_I want you back_  
_Wa-want you, want you back_  
_Uh_

_Ohhh, I want you back_  
_I want you back_  
_Wa-want you, want you back_  
_Uh_

* * *

When Dan left after their heated argument, Sienna fought for ways to occupy the many hours spent without Dan. They rarely fought, and when they did, it was never to this degree. They would sometimes disagree about certain aspects of Dan's writing, but in the end Sienna obliged to Dan's creative license.

So tonight, after hearing the door slam shut with a boisterous echo, she slumped against the wall and began to weep a river. Not knowing what Dan was like when truly cross, Sienna feared that Dan may get super wasted and do something reckless, that something reckless could potentially be seeking refuge in the arms of a brunette. Hopefully, in Sienna's mind, the worst Dan could do was to get a few drinks and end up at Brady's to crash and complain, and then the next day it would be all better.

After what she thought was a decent amount of time to weep, which was clocking towards an hour (who weeps a river for that long?), Sienna stood up and cleansed her face of any residual tears.

Breaking out from her teenage insecurity phase, Sienna knows Dan is not _that_ guy; he would not run to Blair. The thought however, does seem to haunt her, so she is going to make sure that potential does not occur. Cut their ties here and now.

Sienna wanted to call Serena and discuss the next stage of utterly destroying Blair Waldorf but didn't however. Having just dropped Serena off at her hotel, the blond goddess was clearly tired and jet-lagged so Sienna let her rest. Serena was not going to be of any use to her plan if she was not well-rested, anyways.

Sienna just watched _Rear Window_ on Dan's Netflix queue (his favorite movie) then called it a night. She needed to be well-rested as well. Going to bed without Dan lying next to her proved difficult but eventually she drifted off.

In the morning, as Sienna was scrubbing her features, the water – as if it were holy water – seemed to reinvigorate a new life in Sienna, one that did not include salty tears. Knowing Dan is not at all stupid and oblivious, Sienna realizes he will eventually have his suspicions in regards to the whereabouts to Blair's pathetic _Please forgive me, I love you_ letter (oh how Sienna just wants to hurl; cue Sienna's eye roll). Taking out the letter, stashed away safely in the box of her heels, she critically observes Blair's distinguishable handwriting.

After hours of memorizing the smoothness of Blair's elegant and classy writing, Sienna pulled out several sheets of scrap paper and began to mimic it all the way to how Blair dotted her "i"'s. Sienna thanked the heavens that she aced her calligraphy classes back at Knightly. That and the fact she and Serena would forge their guardians' signatures to skip class a couple times. Attempt after attempt, Sienna began to get the job done with more precision and accuracy; holding the pen as light as a feather, Sienna was pleased at her progress, seeing the words flow and glide harmoniously across the page, like Blair herself had written it.

The eighth attempt was for the real deal. Grabbing the most Blair-esque type of paper she could find amongst her assortment of stationary, Sienna rewrote Blair's letter. Of course, it was not going to be a pathetic letter like the original but it would be cruel and heartless to make Dan stay away from Blair once and for all. Cruel and heartless. The way Dan had painted Blair in _Cast Out_.

To Sienna, Blair Waldorf was like an annoying butt itch that you'd feel at the most inconvenient of times like when saying your vows on your wedding day. Distracting and aggravating.

Finally finishing the letter by dripping drops of water and drying them – to give affect as dried tears on the page, like Blair mentioned – it was placed inside Blair's envelope, sealed and was placed on the antique coffee table as if Sienna magically "found it." Blair's version was again stashed away in the shoebox. _Who knows, maybe it could come in handy to blackmail the Queen of Schemes?_

No sooner than that, Dan swoops inside the condo in between heaves of breathing and a flushed face.

"Dan! Where were you last night and why does it look like you just ran a marathon?"

"I had some drinks and crashed at Brady's. Don't worry, I took a cab last night and just now because I honestly have no clue where my car is. I ran up eight flights up stairs because the elevator was being uncooperative. I needed to get here right away to apologize to you and because I just remembered that I must've dropped Blair's letter in my pile of smelly laundry!"

"_Aha! I goddamn knew it, Dan_! You **lied** to me! I knew that letter was written by Blair but when you called to ask me if I ever saw it, you said it was from Jenny!"

_**Oh shit.**_

Dan totally handled the situation in the worst possible way in letting that fact slip. Now, he was in some serious shit and probably far worse than their fight last night.

"Look, Sie-"

"Please don't even try to explain your reasoning for lying to me! I'm not asking nor will I be listening. Last night you called me out for being insecure because of you and Blair. Each time you reassured me that you no longer have any feelings for her; yet you're here looking for some goddamn pathetic letter she wrote to you even though she's engaged to that guy you refer to as a _**motherChucker**_. I guess it's your turn to be in the hotseat, Dan."

Staring at Dan with a coldness Dan himself was unexpected to see from Sienna, she was expecting his predictable ramblings of an answer but was met with silence, instead. The only sound Sienna could find solace in was the now apparent trickle of rain that bestowed Paris.

Well, if Dan Humphrey learned anything from having been best friends and even lovers with Blair Waldorf, it's the art of denial. He's been denying over and over again to Sienna and himself, but he couldn't do it anymore.

"I do **not** love Blair…b…but even after everything, I still manage to wish her happiness. Even if that happiness is with Chuck and not me, I just want her and Audrey to be happy. I've been destroyed by her yet I still considered her as my best friend. But that doesn't change the fact that she's marrying Chuck and that I'm in love and marrying _you_, Sienna!"

"Wow! I finally get the fucking truth out of you! Is this supposed to make me feel better? You, mentioning Blair as your best friend? My impression of her is of a female Mafioso that could bury you alive in the unknown Las Vegas desert! If this is supposed to be your way of apologizing after disappearing last night, this is not the way to do so, Dan."

Dan opened his mouth about to respond before Sienna's hand shoots up to stop him.

"By the way, I found the letter Dan! I was doing laundry because when I'm upset about something, I do laundry. Like the Gods were playing a cruel joke on me, the force of luck worked its magic so that I'd come into possession of the letter. I have enough self-respect to not open the letter but it's sitting on the coffee table waiting for your eyes to view it."

"Dan, listen to me carefully. I'm not trying to make you hate Blair because you are way too good for that, but don't expect this letter to be sappy with _I'm sorry, I love you and I wish I was marrying you_ bullshit like that. It's probably going only going to hurt you as she tries to justify her previous actions and rehashing those emotions you felt a couple of years ago."

Dan tried to listen but ignored her as all he could do was stare at that letter. That piece of paper could either be his worst nightmare or sweetest dream. Forgetting all about his fiancé expressing her anger with him in the living room, Dan snatched the letter off the coffee table and was nearly about to read the letter… until his iPhone rang. He was planning to let the call go to voicemail without looking at his caller ID but the distinct ringtone he gave the caller let Dan know that he couldn't dismiss it.

Dan ended up being convinced by endless harassing to put Justin Bieber's "As Long As You Love Me" as his buddy's ringtone. _Oh, how he resented that now!_ Grabbing his phone, Dan settled into his room and shut the door, leaving Sienna behind in the living room, before accepting the call.

"Look, this is not a go-"

"We're here at the terminal of Charles de Gaulle Airport! You said to come ASAP, so here we are! Aren't you going to come and greet us, Dan?"

"Yeah, I'll meet you soon then. Wait. Did you just say "_we_"? Who else did you bring?"

"Yes, I brought someone with me. You know this individual Dan but I want you to see for yourself. We're hungry so why don't we meet at a restaurant we spotted not far from the airport?"

Like the night before, Dan walked past a badgering Sienna to grab his coat. Dan made sure the letter was securely placed on the inside of his jacket pocket.

"I'm going to catch a cab to the airport to pick-up my friends. Just because you brought Serena into our lives that doesn't mean I can't bring back my old friends, too!"

Only nodding, as to not pick another fight, Sienna just asked, "Won't Brady be pissed knowing that he's being demoted as your sidekick?"

Dan chuckled a bitter laugh, as he thought that question sounded something Blair would've asked him.

"At first, but he'll be chill with it. They'll get along because they are basically the same person!"

* * *

Stepping through the restaurant's door, it was a typical French restaurant. The class and finesse from its physical structure and lighting to the expensive and hard-to-pronounce options from the menu. There were beautiful paintings hung around the walls the accented the rest of the restaurant's décor in a meaningful and subtle way – not clashing and trying too hard. The diners whispered amongst one another and contrasted against the clashing of plates and pans of the hard-working chefs within the kitchen.

Dan brought Sienna to this restaurant when they first moved out to Paris, to celebrate. Dan's heard many great reviews about this specific restaurant. Because it's close to the airport, there is a lot of traffic. As well, it is very discreet, with soft music and romantic setting for that special someone. The service is impeccable, never seen, but always there when you need them and very attentive. The food is a gastronomic fantasia and delights all the senses. It's refined, varied, and delicious in all its aspects. The wine cellar is second to none and reasonably priced.

Glancing around the scene, he finally spotted them. Nate and Vanessa.

"Hey Dan!"

"Wow! It's good to see you… both! Nate and Vanessa! You guys have to tell me how this happened!"

"Wait. I thought you needed us? Wasn't that the whole point of your 911 call to me?"

"Yes, but that can wait a bit longer as long as you tell me how" Dan pointed between Nate and Vanessa "this all happened."

So, over some food and wine, Nate and Vanessa explained.

Nate had moved in and settled with Lola. They were doing fine but just naturally drifted apart and split amicably. Lola continued chasing her dream as an actress and Nate continued to build up his own legacy at The Spectator, without the help of his cousin Tripp or grandfather.

Vanessa, having been off the radar since sending Dan's manuscript for print, without his permission (he's forgiven her, by this point), has been travelling around Spain to film docu-dramas and being involved with helping the less fortunate kids in the area. Though she was flirting with a few Spaniards, those relationships didn't last long.

Nate and his fellow Spectator colleagues were covering stories during the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF), where one of Vanessa's films was being viewed. Nate sought a personal interview with Vanessa and you could say the rest was history, as here they are now together and deliriously in love.

"No we've told our story; it's your turn, Dan. Tell us what's got you so bothered that you had to get me to fly out across the pond just to talk."

So, Dan explained his predicament over more wine.

After listening to a mouthful from Dan, Nate and Vanessa, who barely interrupted, just shared a look before blurting out,

"You're still in love with Blair!"

Of course, Dan immediately rejected that statement.

"Dan, from what you've told us, Sienna is a wonderful woman and you're grateful to have found her and be marrying her. On the other side of that coin however, she sounds too good to be true. She's not Blair, nor will she ever be – from what Nate and I could gather – that's the problem! You're still in love with Blair but Sienna's not Blair!"

Nate, normally the unobjective one from his small circle of friends, chimes in, "Yeah, I agree with Vanessa, man. You need to figure what and who you want in life. You can't keep reassuring Sienna and marrying her under false pretenses when your undivided attention is on Blair, Chuck, and Audrey."

"You sound so… so Dr. Phil! Haha! Nate sounding like Dr. Phil!"

"Hey! I have my moments and I think of myself more as Socrates than Dr. Phil, though he does have good points!"

"Man, you would like my friend Brady and his wife, Evangeline; they are just like the two of you!"

"We should totally meet them, and maybe Nate and I could talk with Blair."

"Vanessa, you would do that? I thou-"

"I've had time to get past all of…that."

"Well, while you're at it, why don't you guys try talking to Serena, too?"

"Serena's here in Paris as well? Well, it looks like the Original 6 are conveniently in the same city together, without the manipulating of Gossip Girl. Well, the Original 6 with the additions of Sienna and Audrey of course."

After giving their thoughts on Dan's life crisis, Nate and Vanessa headed out to take in Paris before getting some early rest. Dan, insisting to pay the bill as he invited them to Paris in the first place, stayed behind.

Pulling out Blair's letter from his jacket pocket, he finally had time to read it. He tried in the taxi cab on the way, but it had been getting dark out. Besides, Dan didn't like reading while in a moving vehicle; it seemed to give him migraines. He opened the envelope as he ordered another glass of wine to the waiter.

_What were the words Blair had written that awaited Dan?_

* * *

_You make It hard for me to see somebody else  
I'm calling her your name  
Yea it's messed up, cause I'm thinkin 'bout you  
It's your fault babe  
I never wanted us to break up  
No not this way  
But you don't understand it girl  
When she touches me, I'm wishing that they were your hands  
And when I'm with her it's only 'bout the sex  
With you I had a bad romance  
And if I could, just trade her in I would  
Cause nobody compares to ya_

_I think I better let her go  
Cause I can't leave you alone  
Every day that I'm with her, all I want is you  
I wanna leave but I'm afraid  
That you don't even feel the same  
And now I realize that she ain't you  
Oh (no she ain't you)  
Whoa oh oh (Na na na)  
Whoa oh oh (Na na na)  
She ain't, no she ain't you_

_I've been sleeping out_  
_For quite some nights now_  
_It's not the same in my bed_  
_But if she found out what's going on in my head_  
_It'll be all bad, have me right back_  
_But you don't understand it girl_  
_When she touches me, I'm wishing that they were your hands_  
_And when I'm with her it's only 'bout the sex_  
_With you I had a bad romance_  
_And if I could, just trade her in I would_  
_Cause nobody compares to ya_

_I think I better let her go_  
_Cause I can't leave you alone_  
_Every day that I'm with her, all I want is you_  
_I wanna leave but I'm afraid_  
_That you don't even feel the same_  
_And now I realize that she ain't you_  
_No she a-ain't she ain't you__[x8]__  
_

_I think I better let her go  
Cause I can't leave you alone  
Every day that I'm with her, all I want is you  
I wanna leave but I'm afraid  
That you don't even feel the same  
And now I realize that she ain't you  
Oh (no she ain't you)  
Whoa oh oh (Na na na)  
Whoa oh oh (Na na na)  
She ain't, no she ain't you_


	12. What's a Man to Do?

_This is chapter 12 everyone!_

_I am planning to update a lot later than usual for the next chapter because I plan to upload 2 chapters at once. I'm somewhat superstitious so I don't want to end the chapter at the "unlucky number." _

_Don't worry, I have an idea of where my story is going and I have the ending and epilogue already written out. I just don't know how many more chapters I'll write to get to my ending. _

_I'm not planning to watch the final season. My hectic university life has disabled me from doing so anyways, even if I wanted to (which I don't)! However, the one thing I will miss from the show is: Dorota's hilarious remarks matched with her Polish accent! Man, I love Dorota! I wish I had my very own Dorota! _

_Song lyrics in this chapter: "Where Did We Go?" by Andrew Allen and Carly Rae Jepsen, "Foolin' Around" by Usher, and "What's a Man to Do?" by Usher._

_Disclaimer: Don't own GG, just this story and the mistakes that go along with it. _

_I love all of the support! As usual, R&R please!_

* * *

"Where is Blair?!" was all Dan boomed to the other side of the door that his knuckles had been bashing.

"How the he…hell did y-y-you get passsst ssssecurity?"

The response Dan was greeted with was a slurring bellow from Chuck Bass. Dan noticed that Chuck could barely stand-up straight; in order to support his own weight, Chuck had to lean against the doorframe.

With a certain air of arrogance and smugness to him, Dan simply stated, "I'm from Brooklyn, remember? I channeled my inner hoodlum."

"I'm not going to ask again Chuck – at least not without physicality – Where is Blair? I'm not in the mood for your egotistical bullshit with that damn creepy whisper of yours! Tell me where she is or so help me God I'll brutalize the answer out of you!"

Dan Humphrey, the level-headed man who can oftentimes be a judgmental prick, was never one to advocate violence. However, Dan couldn't constrain his resentment whenever he was around Chuck. Having just read Blair's "letter" practically listing off reasons why he was never good enough and why Chuck was, Dan was a little more than peeved at this point. Feeling slightly buzzed from his wine certainly did not help Dan calm down, either.

"H-how did y-y-you know w-we lived h-here?"

"You guys are ChuckandBlair. BlairandChuck. C'mon Chuck, you don't remember? You and Blair were interviewed on TV by interior designers on the decorum of your home. People wanted to know how to get that "mansion" look with limited space and without spending like a millionaire. You guys practically basically advertised your house! For several weeks, security teams had to weed out all of the burglars, creepers, and paparazzi on your property. There are people out there who basically worship you, as if ChuckandBlair were France's version of Will and Kate! It wasn't that hard to find where you guys lived – a simple Google search could attest to that!"

Apparently Dan's speech seemed to have woken Chuck up from his drunken stupor – at least a bit; instead of slurring, Chuck has worked to growling in that hideous and unnatural whisper voice.

"So what do you want, Brooklyn?"

"I already told you Chuck. It's quite simple: let me have a word with Blair then I'll be officially out of your lives for good! You can even celebrate with an endless flow of bourbon, afterwards."

"I do like that proposition but I'm sorry to burst your bubble and say that Blair is not here."

"What? Then where is she then? Evening stroll with Audrey? Late night drinks with other business-mommies?"

"I'm not sure. She could be doing all of those things or none of those things. None of that is of my concern though… at least… not anymore, Brooklyn." Chuck's voice had softened at the end, which did not go unnoticed by Dan.

"Ok, I get you're drunk but I have absolutely no clue what you mean, Chuck."

"What do you think it means, Humphrey? She left me dammit! And this time for good!" Chuck snapped.

Eyes widened in shock, Dan's facial expression was priceless. After a moment trying to swallow Chuck's admission, Dan still couldn't comprehend and needed reassurance.

"Wh-what did you just say?"

Chuck, punctuating each word as if he were speaking to a young child, reiterated his sentence.

"Blair. Left. Me. For. Good. I. Even. Have. The. Harry. Winston. Ring. To. Prove. It."

Chuck certainly did prove it as he took the engagement ring that just sat haphazardly on the bar, right next to a near empty bottle of scotch, and shoved it in Dan's face.

Regaining some of his Bass demeanor, Chuck continued, "Hmmm… and people consider you a writer? Ha! Can your Brooklyn simpleton mind understand that, now that I've broken it down as a master would to his dog?"

With the added commentary, Chuck's words finally registered to Dan.

**Blair finally let go of Chuck.**

With that thought however, a million questions seemed to arise in Dan's head.

_What will happen now? What will happen to Audrey? Could there still be hope for the two of us?_

**No!** Dan shook that last and unnecessary thought. He had to constantly remind himself that he was engaged to Sienna and that even with this new development of Blair leaving Chuck, nothing should or will change that! Dan just focused on the situation with Audrey, instead.

Knowing Blair the way he does, with all of her greatness, faults, and even her vulnerabilities, Dan knew this situation would be hard on everyone. Both Blair and Chuck have grown up without much guidance from their parents due to divorce or business; they both understand the affects that are strung along with the lack of parenting. Hell, Dan and Jenny have even experienced that first hand with their mom's absence. Dan knows that Blair would never ever want that for her child. Dan even knows Chuck doesn't want that either, because even if Chuck is a total tool, Chuck still has a capacity for compassion – it's just buried very deep inside of him.

"Blair's taken Audrey and herself to a hotel for a few days – so things will get arranged in as much peace as we can muster."

"Well… aren't you going to tell me where she is?"

"Why? So you can act as her knight in shining armor… or whatever it is you are, pauper? Need I remind you, that you are, shall I say… _preoccupied_ with someone else? A certain red-head, if I remember correctly."

"Of course! Just because the demise of ChuckandBlair has occurred that doesn't mean I'm going to save her… again. Whatever happened between us, that hasn't changed the fact that I still wanted her to be happy, even if it meant she was happy with" Dan cringed, "_Chuck Bass_." Well… I did think that… until a recent development occurred" Dan said vaguely, leaving out the crucial piece of information that was Blair's "letter. Which is why I need to speak with her, so I think it would be in your best interest Chuck that you tell me where her hotel is."

"Fine." Chuck blustered. "Only because I've seemed to accept my defeat – and that is probably because I've had more than enough to drink this evening."

Scribbling the details and handing the paper to Dan who was on his way out, Chuck had to get the final word in by stating,

"You know she still loves you. That's what ended us. I...I just can't believe I lost to a goddamn toad! If I had lost to another prince who could give her a fairytale then that's a different story… but…. But someone from Brooklyn?"

Chuck violently shakes his head while he heads back to that bottle of scotch.

As Dan walked down to flag another cab that evening, Dan's thoughts swirled of what everything meant. Chuck and Blair were finished and apparently her unwavering love for him was the root of it all; however the letter he just finished reading gave Dan a whole different impression of where Blair's heart truly lies.

_What the hell was going on?_

He needed to find out the truth once and for all from the only feasible source.

**Blair Waldorf herself. **

There was a great chance that she would just feed him more lines of bullshit, but what or who else could he go off of, right?

* * *

By the time Dan stood in front of what was supposedly Blair's hotel room, his wine buzz had subsided and was replaced with a mixture of anger and sympathy. He was cold and wet because Dan had been drenched in a shit storm. Paris was raining uncontrollably, reflecting the shitty evening Dan was already having.

Dan's knuckles rapped on the door gruffly,

_Once._

_Twice._

_Three times_.

Dan could hear that Blair was inside and scrambling to answer the door. In a last ditch effort to group his thoughts, he turned around so that his back was facing the door.

Blair, without looking through the peephole first, opened the door. As she did so, Dan slowly turned himself around and came face to face with Blair, once again.

The moment their gazes locked onto each other's, time stood still.

Blair's breath hitched as she examined a very handsome and a very _wet_ Dan Humphrey at her door.

Dan tried to still his beating heart, which was thumping loudly in his chest, afraid that Blair could hear it as well.

Breaking eye contact, Dan spoke first – a little hoarsely though.

"Blair…"

"Dan! What are you doing here? Oh my god, you're going to get hypothermia like this, come inside!"

He did what he was told but, begrudgingly. "I don't care if I get hypothermia or not, Blair."

Sitting on her ottoman, hesitantly, he was surprised how his demeanor had changed so quickly just by seeing her. He was pissed but somehow, staring at her calmed him down considerably. He was entranced by Blair grabbing a towel for him. Dan did not take notice of Blair's hotel suit for he had his eyes glued on her, and only for her.

Returning with a towel for Dan, Blair was not mistaken by the way their fingers lingered slightly longer than necessary as the towel was exchanged. She watched as his eyes made his way down her body and a blush rose to her cheeks. It was only know she became aware that her robe was somewhat undone, revealing a risqué baby-doll slip underneath. She realized in horror (or what she feigned as horror, though later she would think it was quite a turn on) that she was practically half-naked in front of Dan, who was fully clothed but sopping wet (which defined his muscles in all the right places – also a turn on).

Just as she was enjoying this "moment," things escalated to a serious tone rather quickly, thanks to Dan.

"I know."

"You know what, exactly?" Blair asked timidly, trying to remain innocent by fiddling with her robe.

"You know what I'm talking about, Blair. I know what went down between you and Chuck and the supposed factor being me. So by the looks of you setting up shop here in this suite, I guess it's true. You left Chuck."

"Yes I did." Blair answered with great confidence that it made Dan's heart nearly melt and almost made him forget his intentions of showing up. _Almost._

"Where's Audrey?"

"I just put her down for a nap."

"Ok good." Taking a deep breath, Dan had enough of the pleasantries and got down to the matter at hand.

* * *

_If I could read your mind  
I would of thought we're doing fine  
With no one better beside me  
No no  
So baby baby where did you go?  
_

_If you could read my mind  
I've been talking to my pillow every night  
Cuz I've been waiting for something more then  
The way that we've been going  
So baby now I'm going_

_Baby baby where'd you go?  
I-I've been waiting for you  
Maybe maybe you should know  
That I look back but you never look back  
And maybe we can talk it through  
Cuz' I'm still living my life for you  
Baby baby  
Where did we go?  
Ooo  
Oh oh  
_

_Well I don't see what's wrong (you were so so right)  
I never did and now it's gone  
But if it's not me it's not you  
Tell me how we got you  
The way that we've been going  
So baby now I'm going_

_Baby baby where'd you go?  
I-I've been waiting for you  
Maybe maybe you should know  
_

_That I look back but you never look back  
And maybe we can talk it through  
Cuz' I'm still living my life for you  
Baby baby  
Where did we go?  
Ooo  
Oh oh  
_

_I never saw the sign  
Open up your eyes and recognize me  
Would you recognize me?  
It's harder to define  
What it is inside  
That's what that guides me  
What is it that guides me from you?  
_

_Where did you go?  
If I could read your mind_

_Baby baby where'd you go?  
I-I've been waiting for you  
Maybe maybe you should know  
That I look back but you never look back  
And maybe we can talk it through  
Cuz' I'm still living my life for you  
_

_Baby baby where'd you go? (where did go)  
I-I've been waiting for you  
Where did we go?  
I-I've been waiting for you  
Where did we go?  
I-I've been waiting for you  
Baby baby  
Where did we go?  
Ooo  
Oh oh_

* * *

"I know supposedly everything, but I never wanted to know any of it, nor do I actually believe it. I went to the mansion because I needed to clear the air about a few things with you but my conversation with Chuck lead me here. I don't believe that I was what came between you and Chuck because of this letter that I had just finished reading," Dan solemnly states as he opens the inside pocket of his jacket and reveals the envelope with Blair's letter folded – but was previously crumpled in anger – inside.

"Wait…what? I thought you said you burnt that letter in the damn fireplace! You liar!"

"Yes, I lied! You know why? I didn't want to fess up to the fact that I had originally misplaced the letter to you, because you would get the impression that I was longing to read your words, which I wasn't! I finally found the letter and being the decent guy I am, I gave a moment to read it in respect to you taking time out to write it! And do you know what I found, you know what… why don't you take a look for yourself!"

"What the hell do you mean, Dan?" Blair responded curtly. As she began to read the contents of her letter, a bewildered look crept upon her face.

_Dan,_

_As you read this, you are probably thinking this is going to be some sappy letter about how much I miss you and me constantly trying to apologize for my actions. Well, I'm here to warn you that this letter is the complete opposite, so get over it! _

_What we had was fun but it was never going to be a serious relationship. I never had thoughts of us settling down or anything of the sort. You know full well, like everyone else, my destiny lies with Chuck, and only Chuck. If you thought otherwise, than you must have been in a state of delusion deeper than I had initially thought. _

_I was bored. I conjured up this little experiment to amuse myself, seeing how far you would go as my little lap dog. I may have acted selfish but I found satisfaction in destroying the remnants of your relationship with Serena. _

_You are a good guy, I will admit that much… but there's no excitement with good guys in comparison to the bad boys, like Chuck._

_You: too nice, plaid and flannel, unruly hair, and a Brooklyn pauper that will never fit in._

_Chuck: schemer, designer suits, can fit in at galas, and a Manhattan bred socialite._

_Can you spot the differences, Dan? Which of the two do you think I need in my life? _

_Although I appreciate the letter you had written to me, I think it is the best for everyone that we cut ties, here and now. This means we cannot be friends and that you may not contact me in any situation. I will miss our banter and the fact you think Carey Grant is better with Katherine Hepburn than with Audrey (which is so not true) but I need you to stay away. _

_And to answer your question Dan, my simple answer is "No." No, I don't think about you anymore and you should stop thinking about me… it's necessary. _

_I'm sorry, but this is how I feel and I know that you will respect my wishes. I can't have any distractions ruining my bet on Chuck and myself and Audrey. Do yourself a favor Dan, please… walk away with dignity and just let me be happy because that is where I am with Chuck… happy. _

_Blair_

Finishing the letter, Blair, with a snail's pace, turned to Dan. She was trying to decipher what he felt in that moment. Reading his face, it was apparent he was confused and enraged. The whole time she was reading, she could sense the dreadful silence that ensued, and occasionally glanced to observe Dan pacing hysterically.

"Do you really th-"

"What? Do I really think you wrote and meant every word of that damn letter? Honestly Blair, I have absolutely no clue what or who to believe in this instance. Conversing with Chuck revealed that you still love me and for that reason you returned his ring. On the other hand however, this letter, that piece of paper that is still in your fingers, represents Constance Blair. The Constance Blair that once thought I was some sort of leech that desperately wanted to be an insider just to get in Serena's pants. Constance Blair makes a reappearance in this letter by mocking how much of a fucking fool I was!"

As he made his little speech, Dan continued to pace around and only stopped when Blair ran up to him. Dan avoided meeting Blair's gaze and fought his male hormonal urge to do something really fucked up. Blair was having none of it this evening and made it clear to him. Her hand made contact with his jaw as she forcefully pulled it towards her so they could lock eyes, like they had done so earlier. Staring at him, she could see Dan was on the verge of tears, which broke Blair's heart having to see him in such a state.

"Listen to me, Dan Humphrey. I DID NOT WRITE THIS LETTER AND THESE WORDS DO NOT REFLECT MY FEELINGS FOR YOU!"

Pulling away from Blair's contact, Dan replies crossly, "If I were to believe you – I am not saying I am – then who do you think did? Some sort of Blair alter-ego, much like Nicki Minaj's trillions, including Roman?"

"I have an idea but you are probably going shut it down so when I say it, you can't judge me."

"Oh, I know exactly what this theory of yours is, but I can't promise I won't judge."

As if they reach each other's minds, they simultaneously said, "Sienna"

"I know you think she holds some sort of grudge towards you, Blair… but"

"But you can't see Sienna doing something so selfish and rotten. That's because you place her so high up on a pedestal that she can do no wrong."

"Whoa! I did not say or even imply that so stop putting words in my mouth."

"Why? I know that's what you think. You think you've finally found the perfect woman! Your fiancé, the red-head who doesn't scheme or lie like Serena or me, or even like Vanessa, certainly could not have done it! Like I've said before Dan, she's not all butterflies and rainbows!"

"But she's not some sort of evil and vindictive bitch, like…" Dan stopped before proceeding any further but Blair was no idiot and understood that reference was meant for her.

Blair brought her hand back far enough to where Dan knew the slap would sting… because Blair Waldorf never did anything half-assed. Without a moment's hesitation she flung her hand forward until it came in contact with his cheek. The noise that the slap had made radiated off of the walls and back to both their ears.

They stood in complete silence before Blair started to tear up and began to babble,

"I'm… I'm"

"Please don't apologize, Blair. I'm the one who is sorry and I certainly deserved that." Dan said this with his softest tone yet as he enveloped his arms around her to show that no real harm had been done.

Dan's simple gesture had changed the course of this evening.

Though Dan was not fully dry yet when he was hugging Blair, she did not mind at all. She reveled in the fact that Dan was wrapping himself around her, like all those times years ago.

Getting comfortable in his warmth even when Dan was actually freezing cold still, Blair mumbled into his chest,

"That letter is not the truth, Dan."

Replying into her hair with a melancholy tone, "Why should I believe you Blair? You've lied to me, ran behind my back, and left me. I felt as if I had been hooked up to an EKG and you just unplugged all the cords, leaving me to die."

"That was never my intention, Dan. You have to know that. You have to trust me know."

"Give me a reason to, Blair."

Pulling away slightly, Blair peered into Dan's eyes to see seriousness of his statement. Doing the only thing logical to her at the time, in giving Dan his reason, Blair crashed her lips with Dan's.

She could tell he was surprised and hesitant, but that didn't stop him from kissing her back with such heat that matched Blair's yearning. They were like that for several minutes – Blair's arms wrapped around Dan's neck; Dan's arm wrapped securely around Blair's waist and pulling her closer, while the other twirled within her hair; their tongues dancing for dominance; moaning and panting – until they needed to take a breath. As Dan pulled away however, he noticed Blair's swollen lips and that seemed to have reality crash down on him.

"That shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry, Blair… I…I should go."

Before he could make his way to the door though, Blair latched onto his arm and yanked him back towards her, which quickly led to another searing make-out session.

She wanted and needed him and knew for certain, Dan felt the same way; he just needed a push in the right direction.

Blair whimpered, as yet again Dan tried to move away.

"Please… please Dan… I want this… I need this. Please let me have this, at least for tonight?"

* * *

_I know I vowed to never do this again but I  
I guess this seems to be the only thing I'm good at  
Got something that you need to know  
You're the realest shit I never wrote  
Can't hold it gotta let it go  
Know, that I mean every note.  
Yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), listen baby.  
_

_Let me start by saying that the way I  
Feel for you has never once changed  
And the games I played, mistakes I made  
Leave me sorrier than you'll ever know  
We got a problem baby I can't lie  
Coz lately I realize that I  
Never knew that we was on the same (playing field)  
Knew that it was wrong but we (let it be)  
And I know you never knew when you said "I do"  
That you would have to face all the (pain you feel)  
_

_And it's killing me girl that you have to live with this  
Live with the lies I tell  
Live with the pain you feel  
Knowing the man you love is fooling around  
Oh baby said it's killin me girl  
Said I just don't understand  
Why you wanna be with this kind of man (ooh ho)  
Why would you love a fool  
With all the things I do  
I know it's hard for you  
Hard for you to live with this  
_

_Trade memories from moments  
Treat love to be lonely  
Guess that's just the man in me  
Blame it on celebrity  
When the night time feel like the right time  
And then spotlight feel like the bright light  
But it's really just my fears  
And it still don't dry your tears  
When I, say she ain't you  
When I, really love you more  
When you, say if it's true  
Why'd you do it for?  
And I, I really don't have no excuse  
I break you heart, make you cry  
I just wanna say goodbye  
_

_And it's killing me girl that you have to live with this  
Live with the lies I tell  
Live with the pain you feel  
Knowing the man you love is foolin around  
Oh baby said it's killin me girl  
Said I just dont understand  
Why you wanna be with this kind of man (ooh ho)  
Why would you love a fool  
With all the things I do  
I know its hard for you  
Hard for you to live with this  
_

_What I feel I don't even gotta write it  
It's like poison in my body and there's now way to deny that my heart  
Is a time bomb  
When seconds left to explode  
But I gotta let you know before it blows  
That it ain't on you, it's my fault  
All the gossipy talk, behind your back when you walk  
By the time you will know  
Before long you will see  
That you deserve more, you derserve more  
You derserve so much more  
That what I'll ever be  
_

_And it's killing me girl that you have to live with this  
Live with the lies I tell  
Live with the pain you feel  
Knowing the man you love is foolin around  
Oh baby said it's killin me girl  
Said I just don't understand  
Why you wanna be with this kind of man (ooh ho)  
Why would you love a fool  
With all the things I do  
I know it's hard for you  
Hard for you to live with this (uh)  
Live with this  
Can you, live with this, girl (ohh)  
I just want you know...  
_

_Got something that you need to know  
You're the realest shit I never wrote  
Can't hold it gotta let it go  
Know, that I mean every note. (yeah)  
Yeah __[x5]__, hhmmm_

* * *

He held his breath for a moment, wondering what he was going to do was the right thing to do. Dan made no attempts to leave this time and after locking eyes with Blair, Dan made a split-decision – throwing his inhibitions carelessly out the window, without another moment of thought. His head was spinning and he couldn't have cared. He was going to cheat on his fiancé with his ex (the same ex who left him even when he wrote a whole novel professing his love for her), and he was sure he wasn't going to have any regrets in the morning.

Moving backwards, Blair was thankful that Dan gladly took the hint as he picked her up – his body flush with hers – towards the bed, as she hooked her ankles around him.

Blair was also thankful that Audrey was a deep sleeper because she did not want to scar her daughter so early in life with her moans of appreciation.

They were lovesick teenagers, their hands all over each other while they giggled and laughed like school children, their fingers fumbling with their attempts to shed their clothes. Clothing was littered everywhere, but neither cared as their only thought that evening was becoming one.

Coming down from their high, Dan caught his breath slowly before he looked up into Blair's eyes, knowing that he had definitely done something wrong. But he couldn't have cared less.

As she drifted off to sleep, Blair felt as if the puzzle pieces of her life were slowly fitting in a manner that a happy picture would emerge, instead of just jumbled pieces being forced together.

As Dan succumbed to the night his thought was: Dan Humphrey was not the sort of person to go around sleeping with other women behind his fiancé's back. That was never his style or his personality, but this evening he couldn't help but find himself falling into bed with the sharp tongued brunette. Why did he do it then? The logic was quite simple:

_**It was utterly impossible for Dan Humphrey to simply say "no" to Blair Waldorf. **_

* * *

_Oh oh  
Oh oh  
Oh yeah_

_Listen  
I'd be a liar if I told you  
That I didn't see it coming  
Be more of a liar if I said  
Hey I didn't want it to be something  
You deserve much better  
For the love that you have shared  
I know you won't believe it  
But girl I swear  
That I got love for you  
Big love for you  
Even when I'm tripping  
The fact remains that  
You will always be my baby  
My baby  
_

_But dig the truth  
Baby, dig the truth  
I can't hide my feelings  
Especially when the whole world can see  
_

_That my heart is in two different places_  
_I got you in my life and I wanna do right_  
_But it's hard to let it go_  
_When my love has two different faces_  
_And I can't break ties cause they both look right_  
_Someone tell me what's a man to do_  
_When he's loving two_  
_And he don't wanna lie_  
_But he can't tell the truth_

_What's a man to do  
When he's loving two  
But he can't keep his heart  
In two different places  
In two different places  
_

_I know you feel it cause you stay  
There is much more to this story  
But I'd be a fool to say  
I trust her and I'm always gonna love her  
You know that you don't wanna hear_

_I been living on the edge baby  
So I guess yea baby  
She ain't nothing but she is real  
But why take her through it  
When I still got love for you  
Big love for you  
Even when I'm tripping  
The fact remains that  
You will always be my baby  
My baby  
_

_But dig the truth  
Baby, dig the truth  
I can't hide my feelings  
Especially when the whole world can see_

_What's a man to do  
When he's loving two  
But he can't keep his heart  
In two different places  
Not in two different places  
_

_I wanna tell you it's over_  
_That I ain't thinking of her_  
_I wanna really mean it_  
_That I want you to see it_  
_That I'm really trying to leave her behind_  
_And I'm trying not to make you cry_  
_I wanna tell you that_  
_I ain't playing games and I'm dedicated to receive a change_  
_But when I look in the mirror_  
_It's the same old man_

_What's a man to do_  
_When he's loving two_  
_But he can't keep his heart_  
_In two different places_  
_Not in two different places_


	13. Dan's Aftermath

_I know! I'm surprised myself that this is written a lot sooner than I had anticipated! I buckled down and was really trying to get this posted before the season premiere! This is chapter 13 and the chapter 14 is posted right after because I'm superstitious! This is actually a good thing because I probably won't be able to update for a while again because my mid-terms are in 2 weeks but I plan to study lots this week. _

_A big reason why this was done quickly was because my parents visited me up on campus, which took like 5 hours to drive. We celebrated a bit of an early Thanksgiving! For those of you from Canada, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!_

_Song lyrics in this chapter: Confessions Pt. 1" by Usher and "Let's Get Married (Remarquable Remix)" by Jagged Edge_

_Sidenote: I really want to see the new show Arrow, btw… OMG I LOVE KATIE CASSIDY, SHE'S AMAZING! MELROSE PLACE REBOOT, GG ARC, MONTE CARLO, AND NOW ARROW… FILMED IN VANCOUVER!_

_Don't own the shitty GG but the mistakes in this fic! Please R&R!_

_The next chapter is posted right after this so… please R&R that as well! _

* * *

Awaking from his deep slumber by the screams and cries that emanated from the corner of the room, Dan got out of bed. As he rubbed the grogginess from his eyes, he recognized that the noise was coming from Audrey and that Blair had been sleeping soundly next to him, as if they were some sort of uncomplicated happy family (sooo not true). It dawned on Dan what had transpired between Blair and himself only hours ago and inwardly cursed at how gullible he truly was.

Stealthily moving from within the sheets – not wanting to disturb Blair and having to face an awkward encounter – Dan shuffled across to Audrey's bassinet and decided to calm her down. He had no doubts that Blair was a great mother to Audrey, but he also knew from firsthand experience how immensely stressful parenting is. He wanted Blair to get as much rest as she needed so he gladly took on the responsibility for Audrey in the meantime; besides, this would be a good test to see if Dan still had the magic power to silence a child.

Although Audrey was a beautiful baby, she was quite rambunctious (a trait most likely endowed by Blair) and made Milo seem meek in comparison. Even the most rambunctious child such as Audrey however, would become introverted with a simple trick that Dan's father used on Dan and that Dan used on Milo – singing rock versions of traditional nursery rhymes. Forget about Elmo and the rest of Sesame Street or Ivy League preschool… the Humphreys' singing is the best way to get an early education nowadays. Dan could take _Row, Row, Row Your Boat_ and turn that into Rock, Rock, Rock the Stage and _Doggie in the Window_ into Guitar in the Window. There was never a better time when Dan praised Rufus for being a part of Lincoln Hawk as he learned how to sing (decently) and play the guitar because of it. Normally, he'd sing with the accompaniment of him strumming on his guitar but he doubted Blair would have an acoustic lying around in her hotel suite somewhere.

Dan wasn't so sure what nursery rhyme best suited Audrey, so he randomly made one up on the spot, which sounded more like a narrative story, than a song. That's the writer in himself Dan guesses… he practically bleeds words from his veins. A short story about a struggling musician finding his muse within an intellectually free-spirited brunette was quickly formed; Dan disregarded the obvious similarities to his story to that of his life. Audrey ate the story up in awe like any baby would; she was constantly cooing and happy gurgling, which urged Dan to continue as he paced around the suite, gently bouncing Audrey along.

With his back towards the bed, Dan didn't realize Blair had gotten up and was behind him until she uttered his name in that tone that was in between being asleep and awake; a tone that Dan found endearing in Blair.

"Dan…?"

Turning around with Audrey still bundled warmly in his arms, Dan saw Blair's features light up brighter than the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center. He knew Blair (though she may never admit this to him) drank in the sight of him holding Audrey so gladly, warmly, safely, and rightly. He never finished his story, but Audrey seemed satisfied as she returned to slumber once again. After Dan delicately placed Audrey back in her bassinet, he turned to find Blair just staring at him with those big doe eyes that she possessed.

"You're good with her, you know that, Dan?"

Instead of replying, Dan wanted Blair to answer his own question.

"Blair, what time is it?"

"It's 4:00 AM. Why?"

"Shit."

Dan swore under his breath and began to quickly fumble for his boxers and for the rest of his clothes, putting them on as he did so.

"Wait… Dan… wh-what are you doing? Where are you going?"

"What does it look like I'm doing Waldorf? I'm going home, which is not this hotel suite by any means," Dan replied, sounding annoyed.

Blair's voice reached octaves higher with one word: "What?"

Finishing the last button of his now rumpled, white Calvin Klein button-up, Dan took his arms and placed them firmly on Blair's bare shoulders making her look at him with direct eye contact.

Swallowing quietly, Dan had to admit that this was one of the most awkward moments that he had been faced with. Sure, there had been times when his own father had caught him jerking off in his teen years. But this, this was far more awkward.

"Look, Blair, about last night," He started, but he was promptly cut off by Blair's words.

"Don't! Just… please don't, Dan! Don't start apologizing or be an ass about this!"

"Look… Blair, I…I'm sorry." Taking his index finger and pointing it between Blair and himself, Dan continued, "This… this should have never happened. This hasn't changed anything, nor will it. I need you to understand that. I'm still engaged to Sienna even though you aren't to Chuck anymore; I shouldn't have let you play me again or taken advantage of you and acted on impulse."

Despite all of his faults, Dan knew he was still a gentleman in some regards. And he would have liked to think that he wouldn't take advantage of women, at all. But this was certainly something different.

"You didn't take advantage of me Dan. I…" She paused, swallowing quietly before continuing. "I never thought I would have the opportunity to be with you again."

Dan could tell that she was being brutally honest. And that was a side that he got to see when they were "friends." It was something that made him appreciate her more as a person and less as that girl he thought he knew back in high school. So he knew when she was being honest about something, and this was one of those moments.

"Blair…"

"No," She stated firmly, her eyes glazing over as she continued to look up at him. "No, you do not get to say anything. Because I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the way you used to flash me that stupid grin. I hate the way you make me feel like I can do whatever the hell I want. I hate the way you make me want to be a better person. I hate the way you tell me that I deserve more than Chuck Bass."

He knew she was getting emotional, and it was only going to get worse. He felt her curl her hand curl into a fist before hitting his chest and stepping away from him.

"Bl-Blair," He stuttered. He felt like a fish on dry land, flopping around helplessly. He didn't know what to do. His intention wasn't to give her any false hope and then dash all of her hopes away (even though Blair did exactly that to him). This wasn't right.

"Blair, I… I…" He couldn't even finish his sentence.

In this moment, Dan's heart sank. He swallowed hard, and tried to breathe. Because he knew this wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't supposed to happen at all.

Lips pursed, Dan shook his head slightly before looking around for his jacket, picking it up from the foot of the bed and putting it on.

"I have to go," He stated flatly.

"No, Dan…"

Without responding, he started to walk towards the door, but was stopped by Blair taking a hold of his wrist and pulling him back.

"Dan," She pleaded. He turned to look at her to see the sadness in her eyes.

"Blair, it shouldn't have happened," Dan almost whispered. "Last night was a mistake,"

Seeing the brunette swallow, he knew he had said the wrong words, but even as a writer, no long-winded speech would make the situation any better.

Feeling her grip loosen around his wrist, she averted her gaze from his before he finally turned to leave the brunette in the room. And as he exited the room and walked down the corridor, all he could hear were her sobs.

_God, he was so fucked._

* * *

Briskly walking down the hall to hail a cab, Dan didn't see a certain blonde goddess walking towards his direction until they touched shoulders.

_**SERENA. FUCKING. VAN. DER. WOODSEN. **_

_**FUCK.**_

_**SHIT. **_

As Dan was totally immersed into speaking with Blair, that when he arrived at the hotel in which Chuck instructed Blair was at, he stupidly failed to realize that Blair's hotel was the exact same one as the one he and Sienna had dropped Serena off at.

Well, things were going to get much worse and awkward having to run into Serena, especially since it was obvious by his disheveled appearance that he just had what he considered a "booty call."

"Dan? What the hell are you doing here? You're not here to see me are you, at this hour? Wait… OH MY GOD, DO NOT TELL ME YOU WERE JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD VISITING… BLAIR? DO NOT TELL ME THAT DAN! YOU HAVE A FIANCE AT HOME, WHO YOU AND I BOTH LOVE!"

This interrogation made Dan feel like he was a soldier at war – having to constantly dodge bullets and grenades and treading carefully for he may be killed by an IED. That analogy may be a harsh exaggeration but that's what Dan felt at the moment.

"I don't have time for your bullshit, Serena. I need to get home to my fiancé, which you seem to have no trouble constantly reminding me about. I was only here to console Blair… as a friend… that is all… nothing less and certainly nothing more. If we ever plan to be civil to each other again, Serena, it would be in your best interest to not utter a single word of this to Sienna."

"Are you threatening me all of a sudden? Someone needs to put you in your place. Don't get me wrong, Sienna is amazing and all, but she needs to keep you on a tight leash, especially when it comes to Blair! I know what went down between Chuck and Blair… I ran into her earlier. But they will find a way back, even if they have to scratch and crawl to do so. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU DAN? YOU ARE NOT THE SAME MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH ALL THOSE YEARS AGO?"

"WOW! THIS COMING FROM THE WOMAN WHO NEVER CHANGES! I GUESS OLD HABITS REALLY DO DIE HARD, RIGHT SERENA? Seriously, ODing in Tijuana? Taking a page out of Marissa Cooper's books, ODing in TJ, I see."

A quick slap from Serena was accompanied by, "GO TO HELL DAN!"

"I think I'm already in it, but if not, then if I'm going to hell, you will be damn sure I'm going to drag everyone else down there with me!"

Dashing out of the hotel, Dan could faintly hear Serena yell out, "She'll never choose you, Dan! She may think she wants you, but she will gladly return to Chuck when she gets a chance! By then, you will have already lost Sienna and me!"

Dan shares a quiet chuckle with himself because of her statement. Isn't that Serena's MO? Choosing a new guy but then returning to an old flame; wasn't that basically high school – Serena deciding between Nate and Dan?

* * *

The moment Dan left his hostile encounter with Serena, Serena began furiously texting Sienna.

Sienna was basically brought up to speed with current events and was just simmering and stewing for Dan's arrival and an imminent confrontation.

Sienna texted Serena with equal ferocity; her messages stated that their "plan" needs to be executed like ASAP. Chuck and Blair have to get back together and stay that way for the foreseeable future.

Sienna quickly glanced Serena's last text: _**Nther 1 of us can afford 2 let this BITCH win! DX **_

Just as she did this, Dan finally made his long-awaited return to very unpleasant Sienna.

"What the hell is going on between you and Blair?"

* * *

_Every thing that I've been doing is all bad  
I got a chick on the side with a crib and a ride  
I've been telling you so many lies ain't nothing good it's all bad  
And I just wanna confess 'cause it's been going on so long  
Girl I've been doing you so wrong and I want you to know that  
Every thing that I've been doing is all bad  
I got a chick on the side with a crib and a ride  
I've been telling you so many lies ain't nothing good it's all bad  
And I just wanna confess 'cause it's been going on so long  
Girl I've been doing you so wrong and I want you to know that_

_Everytime I was in L.A. I was with my ex-girlfriend  
Everytime you called I told you,  
"Baby I'm working." (No!)  
I was out doing my dirt (Oh!)  
Wasn't thinkin' 'bout you gettin' hurt  
(I) was hand in hand in the Beverly Center like man  
Not givin' a damn who sees me  
So gone (I know)  
So wrong (just listen)  
Acting like I didn't have you sittin' at home  
Thinkin' about me  
Bein' a good girl that you are  
But you probably believe you got a good man  
I man that never would do the things I'm about to tell you I've done  
Brace yourself  
It ain't good  
But it would be even worse if you heard this from somebody else_

_if I could turn back the hands of time and start all over I would_  
_stead of everything being all bad beby everything will be all good_  
_I don't wanna lose you but I know what I'm telling you ain't gonna' make you wanna stay, probably just make you run away or_  
_mad enough to punch me in my face_  
_I've been living like an idiot and I deserve every bit of it_  
_I know, today is the day that I end all the lying and the playing and the bullshit_  
_Girl, I'm sorry baby I'm sorry_  
_But I can no longer walk around with this stress on my chest_  
_I confess..._

* * *

The second that Dan had stepped inside, his fiancé had pulled him into their bedroom, slapped him firmly across the face and demanded that she give him answers. But at the moment, Dan didn't know how much she knew about his infidelity. He was going to have to play it down for now until she had proof.

"Wait. What are you talking about? Is this something that you thought of because I hadn't come home yet?" Dan probed.

"No. More about what Serena texted me and what she saw at the hotel."

He wasn't stunned… news travels fast… the fact that Serena had already spilled everything to Sienna made him question if Serena had been the face behind the infamous Gossip Girl all those years ago. Well, so much for his and Serena's civility.

"Look, there is nothing going on between me and Blair, if that's what you're sugge-"

"I know there's something going on between you and Blair. Do you really think that Serena would just jump to some kind of conclusion based on the fact that she had seen you walking out of the hotel suite that Serena knew she resided in?"

The feint lines on Sienna's forehead started to crease once more; Dan could see the irritation, anger, and hurt etched on her face. What was he supposed to do now? He was starting to become backed into a corner, and he wasn't sure if he was able to back out of this one so easily, like the previous times.

"Well it's Serena. She's done a few crazy things in the past," Dan trailed off, giving her a half shrug causing Sienna to scoff.

Dan didn't want to deny it, but neither did he want to be honest about what he did; his silence was the answer that she was looking for.

"I…I… just don't get it, Dan! Why? After everything I know about her and how she hurt you… why? You're just like them! I mean that as in you're like a permanent fixture in the UES douchebaggery and the fact you are like every other douchebag guy out there, which I thought you weren't!"

What happened next was the second slap that he received from his fiancé in the wee hours of the morning. This time, Dan didn't look up at her.

He could hear a faint sob, and from his lowered gaze, he could see her fiddling with the ring on her left fourth finger. He swallowed, clenching his jaw, not even flinching as she threw the ring at him, hearing it fall to the floor with a light clink.

Gaze lowered, Dan heard Sienna's heels clicking across the floor and slamming the door shut, his body flinching at the noise. Unfortunately the news of his infidelity had reached the ears of his fiancé. Now what was he was going do about it?

He was going to damn well beg.

Dan slumped to the floor, leaning against the door and rambled whatever he could spew to the woman on the other side. He may have thought he was in love with Blair… but that was just an illusion… a fantasy that could never be attained. Sienna was real… what they shared was real and he was going to damn well fight the way he should've done for Blair.

For about 10-15 minutes, Dan said anything and everything he could to regain Sienna's attention and trust. It all seemed futile except until Dan loudly muttered,

"Sienna, if you agree to marry me after all of this… we don't have to wait to get married. I know this sounds way too impulsive and that I'm probably only doing this in order to not lose you, but… I want to marry you, I really do! I want everyone to know that I want to marry you and that I do love you! We can even get married as soon as this upcoming week… if… " Lowering his tone Dan finished with "if that's what you want?"

And with that, Dan could hear the faintest of shuffling and the creak of the door as Sienna turned the knob and faced Dan, who was still slumped on the floor but with hope in his eyes. The same glint of hope he saw in Blair's not too long ago but hoping his hope wouldn't be dashed like Blair's.

* * *

_So So Def  
Remix  
Je yall  
Run-DMC  
To da beat yall  
Ahha ahha  
And me yall know my name  
Come on  
See first of all  
I know these so called playas wouldn't tell ya this  
But I'ma be real and say what's on my heart  
Let's take this chance and make this love feel relevant  
Didn't cha know I loved ya from the start? (yeah)  
When I think about  
All the years we put in this relationship  
Who knew we'd make it this far?  
When I think about  
Where would I be if we were to just fall apart  
And I can't stand the thought of losin' you  
_

_Meet me at the altar  
In your white dress  
We ain't gettin' no younger  
We might as well do it  
Been feeling you all the while girl  
I must confess  
Girl let's just get married,  
I just wanna get married  
_

_Meet me at the altar  
In your white dress  
We ain't gettin' no younger  
So you might as well do it (yeah)  
Been feelin' you all the while girl  
I must confess  
Let's get married  
Baby let's get married  
_

_Said I done it all  
And frankly girl I'm tired of this emptiness  
I wanna come home to you and only you  
'Cause making love to just anyone ain't happening  
I just gotta be with you  
_

_Do you think about  
Us finishing something we started so long ago?  
I wanna give you my all  
Do you think about  
Maybe us havin' some babies?  
Come on won't you be my lady?  
_

_Forever girl...  
_

_What's going on across the seas  
It ain't nothin'  
I ain't frontin'  
Shorty comin' with me  
Now I done already gave you the keys to tha Range  
And your last name 'bout to change  
Now you Mrs. Simmons  
Gotta a betta livin'  
What a difference the reverend made  
I used to be the snake type  
Hangin' out late night  
Girl you made me  
Change my life  
Ever since you met me  
Keys to the Bently  
Now they call you the preacher's wife  
I'm the type of guy that  
Take you out and buy that  
Ring with the rock that'll  
Break your arm  
Playa won't try dat  
Now you can't deny that  
Triple dub rev to the run dot com  
_

_Meet me at the altar  
In your white dress  
We ain't gettin' no younger  
We might as well do it  
Been feelin' you all the while girl  
I must confess  
Girl let's just get married  
I just wanna get married  
_

_Meet me at the altar  
In your white dress  
We ain't gettin' no younger  
We might as well do it  
Been feelin' you all the while girl  
I must confess  
Let's get married  
_

_All I want you to do  
Is meet me at the altar  
In your white dress  
We ain't gettin' no younger  
We might as well do it  
Been feelin' you all the while girl  
I must confess  
Girl let's just get married  
I just wanna get married  
_

_Meet me at the altar  
In your white dress  
We ain't gettin' no younger  
We might as well do it  
Been feelin' you all the while girl  
I must confess  
Let's get married  
Let's get married baby  
Let's get married baby  
_

_Baby baby baby baby baby baby  
_

_All I want you to do  
Meet me at the altar  
In your white dress  
We ain't gettin' no younger  
We might as well do it  
Been feelin' you all the while girl  
I must confess  
Girl let's just get married  
I just wanna get married_


	14. Blair's Aftermath

_This is chapter 14!_

_The previous chapter goes through the events in the aftermath from Dan's POV. Well, this chapter goes through the events in the aftermath from Blair's POV so the beginning part will be quite similar, then it will diverge. It is shorter than the previous chapter however but a past issue of Blair's will resurface in this chapter and will be addressed more so in the forthcoming chapters. Just thought I should mix things up a bit. As you can see, things are really starting to pick up now. It's only going to get better! _

_Song lyrics in this chapter: "Angels Cry (Remix)" by Mariah Carey ft. Ne-Yo and "90210" by Wale_

_Don't own the shitty GG but the mistakes in this fic! Please R&R!_

* * *

Waking up with a bit of a startle hearing Audrey's cries, Blair was pleasantly surprised with Dan's scent. This proved that what she thought happened, really did happen, I wasn't some sort of salacious dream. But when Blair's eyes opened she was disappointed to learn that his body wasn't next to hers. Taking her hand, she felt his side of the bed – it was still warm – which meant he just got up himself. Checking her phone for the time and any messages (the alarm clock fell during their hot encounter, which is going to make for odd conversation at the front desk), it read 4:00 AM and NO MESSAGES.

Blair's ears perked up when she could clearly hear her Audrey cooing and gurgling much to the thanks of Dan, who was telling a story through a sing-songy voice.

Getting up slowly, and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she just observed Dan. He hadn't noticed her presence yet, so she just studied him… well at the least his back side that was presented to Blair.

"Dan…?"

As Dan turned around with Audrey still bundled warmly in his arms, Blair's entire body lit up brighter than the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center. Blair just drank in the sight of him holding Audrey so gladly, warmly, safely, and rightly. Blair noted that he never finished his story, but Audrey seemed satisfied as she returned to slumber once again. With those big doe eyes that she possessed she continued to stare at Dan even as he placed Audrey back in her bassinet and turned around.

"You're good with her, you know that, Dan?"

Instead of replying her, Dan asked his own question.

"Blair, what time is it?"

"It's 4:00 AM. Why?"

"Shit."

Blair couldn't be sure but she was certain she heard Dan swear under his breath. Things were a blur to Blair soon after as all she processed was Dan quickly fumbling for his boxers and the rest his clothes and putting them on.

"Wait… Dan… wh-what are you doing? Where are you going?"

"What does it look like I'm doing Waldorf? I'm going home, which is not this hotel suite by any means," Dan replied, sounding annoyed.

Blair's voice reached octaves higher with one word: "What?"

Finishing the last button of his now rumpled, white Calvin Klein button-up, Dan took his arms and placed them firmly on Blair's bare shoulders making her look at him with direct eye contact. Blair has never felt Dan's palms to be so cold, until this moment.

* * *

_I shouldn't have walked away  
I would've stayed if you said  
We could've made everything OK  
But we just  
Threw the blame back and forth  
We treated love like a sport  
The final blow hit so low  
I'm still on the ground  
_

_I couldn't have prepared myself for this fall  
Shattered in pieces curled on the floor  
Super natural love conquers all  
'Member we used to touch the sky  
_

_And lightning don't strike  
The same place twice  
When you and I said goodbye  
I felt the angels cry  
True love's a gift  
We let it drift  
In a storm  
Every night  
I feel the angels cry  
_

_C'mon babe can't our love be revived  
Bring it back and we gon' make it right  
I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive  
As the angels cry  
_

_I thought we'd be forever and always_  
_You were serenity_  
_You took away the bad days_  
_Didn't always treat you right_  
_But it was OK_  
_I do somethin' stupid_  
_And you still stay with me_

_But you can only go for so long  
Doing the one you claim to love wrong  
Before too much is enough  
You look up  
Find your love gone  
And  
_

_We were so good together  
How come we could not weather  
This storm and just do better  
Why did we say goodbye  
_

_'Cause lightning don't strike  
The same place twice  
When you and I said goodbye  
I felt the angels cry  
True love's a gift  
We let it drift  
In a storm  
Now every night  
I feel the angels cry  
_

_C'mon babe can't our love be revived  
Bring it back and we gon' make it right  
I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive  
As the angels cry  
_

_Baby I'm missin' you  
Don't allow love to lose  
We gotta ride it through  
I'm reaching for you  
_

_Baby I'm missin' you  
Don't allow love to lose  
We gotta ride it through  
I'm reaching for you  
_

_Lightning don't strike  
The same place twice  
When you and I said goodbye  
I felt the angels cry  
True love's a gift  
But we let it slip  
In a storm  
Every night  
I feel the angels cry  
_

Oh babe, the angels cry

* * *

"Look, Blair, about last night," He started, but he was promptly cut off by Blair's words.

"Don't! Just… please don't, Dan! Don't start apologizing or be an ass about this!"

"Look… Blair, I…I'm sorry." Taking his index finger and pointing it between Blair and himself, Dan continued, "This… this should have never happened. This hasn't changed anything, nor will it. I need you to understand that. I'm still engaged to Sienna even though you aren't to Chuck anymore; I shouldn't have let you play me again or taken advantage of you and acted on impulse."

Despite all of his faults, Blair loved the fact Dan still aimed to be a gentleman in some regards.

"You didn't take advantage of me Dan. I…" She paused, swallowing quietly before continuing. "I never thought I would have the opportunity to be with you again."

She was being brutally honest. And that was a side that only Dan ever got to see when they were "friends."

"Blair…"

"No," She stated firmly, her eyes glazing over as she continued to look up at him. "No, you do not get to say anything. Because I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the way you used to flash me that stupid grin. I hate the way you make me feel like I can do whatever the hell I want. I hate the way you make me want to be a better person. I hate the way you tell me that I deserve more than Chuck Bass."

Blair was getting emotional, and it was only going to get worse. She curled her hand into a fist before hitting his chest and stepping away from him.

"Bl-Blair," He stuttered.

"Blair, I… I…" He couldn't even finish his sentence.

In this moment, Blair's heart sank. She swallowed hard, and tried to breathe. Because she knew this wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't supposed to happen at all.

Dan shook his head slightly before looking around for his jacket, picking it up from the foot of the bed and putting it on.

"I have to go," He stated flatly.

"No, Dan…"

Without responding, he started to walk towards the door, but Blair managed to stop him by taking a hold of his wrist and pulling him back.

"Dan," She pleaded. He turned to look at her to see the sadness in her eyes.

"Blair, it shouldn't have happened," Dan almost whispered. "Last night was a mistake,"

She swallowed… hard

Loosening the grip around his wrist, she averted her gaze from his before Dan left the room.

As he left, she was sobbing.

* * *

After her sobfest, Blair Waldorf did something she swore she would never do again since high school.

Looking at the room service menu that lay by the bedside table, Blair placed an order for almost every item on the menu. The staff never responds to requests at 4:00 AM and normally would have questioned such a large order for a single person, but this was no ordinary person… this was Blair Waldorf. No one questions or disregards Blair Waldorf… especially a Blair Waldorf that had been sobbing.

When the food was brought up (later than Blair's impeccable standards), Blair looked at a still sleeping Audrey and brought a kiss to her temple. As she kissed her daughter's temple Blair said, "Mommy's sorry for what she is about to do. I'm at least glad you are not awake to witness this. I'm sorry, honey. Everyone is right… I am a monster and you deserve a mommy better than me. I want you to know though; I do love you, Audrey."

With that, Blair spent the hours of the wee morning, stuffing her face with foods high in fat, sodium, and carbs. Immediately after, she would force it out of her system and into the pristine white toilet bowl.

Blair Waldorf did something she swore she would never do again since high school. Binge and purge. She was doing fine for years but in those early morning hours, with Audrey sleeping in her bassinet, she relapsed. Blair Waldorf was a bulimic…again.

* * *

_And she throws up whatever she eats  
She leave the bathroom wit a nose bleed  
Regular girl, Celebrity dreams  
She is...(90210)  
She live her whole life like tv  
And she would do anything for everything  
Regular girl, Celebrity dreams  
She is...(90210)_

_Ms. Rodeo, tell me where your day go  
Part-time waitress she really wanna make it  
In the "City of Lights", it's hard to see clear  
She don't really care about anyone advice  
Nothing here's real, and everyone's alike  
Cause everyone dreams of the millionaire's life  
She barely eats at all, if she do she eats light  
Indulging a meal when a toilets in sight  
Expose those fries, can't hold those down  
To be seven pounds, you must release several pounds  
This is Heaven on Hell  
This is how she wanna live  
She ain't really trippin', she's on Beverly Hills_

_And she throws up whatever she eats  
She leave the bathroom wit a nose bleed  
Regular girl, Celebrity dreams  
She is...(90210)  
She live her whole life like tv  
And she would do anything for everything  
Regular girl, Celebrity dreams  
She is...(90210)_

_Just another day out in Beverly Hills  
She sing, model, and dance, but can't sit still  
Believing the screens or anything there  
But reality shows ain't real  
So pretentious with no potential  
She goes to catch up, although her rents up  
In her defense-she part of the crowd  
She gonna borrow some money  
So she can party at Chows  
It's apart of her goal  
It's all she knows  
Graduated from rosay, addicted to blow  
Addicted to stardom, a wish to blow  
So she kisses the stars  
And gives them a blow  
After every show, a dream she hold  
Inhibition is gone, she just wanna be known  
She wanna be know, she just wanna be known  
Pulling down her skirt  
"I never done this before", Nah_

_And she throws up whatever she eats  
She leave the bathroom wit a nose bleed  
Regular girl, Celebrity dreams  
She is...(90210)  
She live her whole life like tv  
And she would do anything for everything  
Regular girl, Celebrity dreams  
She is...(90210)_

_You know big-breast girls  
Never ever pay rent  
They meet the Rich Boys  
Throw D's on that Bitch  
Lease on The Whip  
Beach on the weekend  
Hotel suite, room keys is a gift  
Dream of the fame or a ring on her finger  
Now you just a whore to the male entertainers  
Word spreads fast that your knees spread quick  
The sun's always out  
But It's clouds over here  
Look, cocaine addiction, apartment eviction  
To add to the list of Beverly Hills victims  
Hold on you can see my vision  
Next to you let down on a nigga_

_And she throws up whatever she eats  
She leave the bathroom wit a nose bleed  
Regular girl, Celebrity dreams  
She is...(90210)  
She live her whole life like tv  
And she do anything for everything  
Regular girl, Celebrity dreams  
She is...(90210)_


	15. A New Marriage and an Old Habit

_OMFG WTF IS UP WITH ALL THESE RECENT FINALE PICS AND VIDEOS?! CHAIR WEDDING, DERENA WEDDING, AND NOW THIS HENRY KID? WTF?_

_I am trying to hold a strong resolve in regards watching the abomination of this season. It is difficult because I watch 90210 on the CW 5 which airs before GG. My resolve has held up so far!_

_I have heard however that Katie Cassidy was spotted onset in NY, travelling in between her filming of Arrow in Vancouver. I wonder what Juliet is up to now? I am really curious because I loved Juliet, however shady she was. I also know Taylor Momsen and Connor Paolo are on set as well. I've missed Eric but not so much Jenny (maybe innocent Little J, but not raccoon eyes Jenny). I really wished Jessica Szhor would have come back though, I really liked Vanessa and I hate how Jessica is constantly bashed in real life just because she portrayed Vanessa!_

_ANYWAYS, ON TO A HAPPIER NOTE - OMFG I FINISHED MY MIDTERMS! WOOT! XD LOL ;p I FELL PRETTY GOOD FOR ALL OF THEM AS I STUDIED MY ASS OFF! BUT I'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE! BUT I DID GET BACK MY FIRST ESSAY AND I GOT AN (A-)! PRETTY HAPPY BUT I KNOW WHERE I COULD HAVE IMPROVED!_

_I'M CELEBRATING BY UPDATING THIS FIC… AS WELL, DRINKING A COUPLE CANS OF BEER (SHH… DON'T TELL ANYONE… MY 19__TH__ BIRTHDAY IS IN 8 MONTHS SO IT'S OK!)_

_OK I'M PROBABLY A BIT TIPSY AT THIS POINT BUT:_

_Sidenote: I JUST THINK THIS IS SO CUTE!_

_PENN + LEIGHTON = PEIGHTON (SOUNDS LIKE PEYTON FROM OTH)_

_I TOTALLY LOVE PEIGHTON AND I TOTALLY SHIP THEM IRL – THEY SHOULD PULL A "MILA AND ASHTON" BUT SOON, NOT LIKE 10 YEARS AFTER THE SHOW ENDS!_

_LUCAS + PEYTON = LEYTON (SOUNDS LIKE LEIGHTON) (BIG LEYTON SHIPPER) _

_I think this is so cute and funny, so everyone should laugh with me (Cue "aww…" and laughs). Everyone who has done so (and meant it) gets a really cheesy internet fist bump (or fist pump for Jersey Shore fans like me)! _

_Song lyrics in this chapter: "Fast Forward (FFWD)" by Jaicko Lawrence and "Oath" by Cher Lloyd feat. Becky G_

_I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! I'm not entirely satisfied with it but I thought I should get it posted for those who haven't forgotten about me! As always please R&R! I welcome the support! I'm not sure but I think I'm starting to get to the end of this fic. I'm thinking 4 more chapters and an epilogue, but we'll see!_

_Don't own GG but I do own the mistakes here (there's probably quite a bit… again… I'm tipsy)_

* * *

Sienna was much more forgiving than Dan realized. He wasn't so sure if that was a pro or a con. C'mon, he just admitted to sleeping with his ex. If the roles were reversed, Dan himself wouldn't give in so easily.

Well, if she felt any anger or disappointment, it was temporarily repressed.

Little did Dan know that Sienna was teetering over the edge in frustration, internally, for Dan's discretion. But she plastered a smile on her face at his need for a hasty marriage.

She could use this to her advantage, she thought.

If Sienna and Dan get married ASAP then Dan would never think of pulling away from her to run back to Blair – even if Blair broke off her engagement to Chuck.

Dan would never do that.

So... after a deep discussion with Dan, they decided to be married on Saturday, two weeks from now.

The next week Sienna was in deep wedding mode. She was so focused that she would make snide comments to Dan, whenever he teased her about it. This actually scared Dan a little, making the eerie comparison to Blair's high-strung OCD tendencies.

While Sienna planned the wedding, with the occasional input from the groom, Dan invested himself at work. Now that they were getting hitched sooner than originally planned, Dan needed to make sure the Humphrey's would be financially steady. He slaved away, night and day, at home and at his desk, pouring out words for this French newspaper. Any time that was available to him however, Dan was contacting as many French literary agents that would take an American – who was once praised with accolades – under their Baguette and espresso smelling wings.

By the end of the week, almost everything had been planned, down to the minute detail, which left Dan completely awestruck but praised Sienna nonetheless. Sienna had apparently asked Serena with help (which Dan didn't like but kept to himself) and she called in several favors for this shotgun wedding.

Sienna and Dan decided to celebrate with a night out on the town with their friends. It was a triple date that consisted of: Dan and Sienna, Brady and Evangeline, and Nate and Vanessa. Sienna really wanted to invite Serena but thought she was still a sore subject to Dan and decided against it. None of them knew of the pushed up wedding date, so Dan and Sienna were planning for the big reveal then as they ate dinner at a classy restaurant known as Thoumieux.

As they ate with chatter about them, Dan felt a sense of pride as Brady and Nate definitely hit it off. He did feel a bit jealous that they hit it off easily however, as Dan had taken longer to warm up to the Abercrombie and Fitch trust fund kid. Now he felt this bromance was headed for a threesome (something Dan did not want to visualize ever, but especially as he ate).

As the waiter brought some more wine and dessert menus to the table, Dan stood up and spoke.

"Well… as you all know by now Sienna and I are planning to get married. We initially opted for a spring wedding next year but after some consideration we've decided…"

"We're getting married next week!" in jumps Sienna with a squeal.

Silence and looks go around the dinner table.

This is not the reaction Sienna or Dan had anticipated from their friends.

After a minute that seemed to go on forever, their friends stood up and congratulated them with hugs. Both Sienna and Dan knew this was only out of sheer politeness of their news and most likely not genuine.

Before everyone parted ways and returned home, Sienna excused herself to freshen up in the ladies' room while Vanessa and Evangeline followed in typical fashion for women, leaving the men at the table to converse.

When Nate and Brady made sure the women were all out of earshot, they shared a look with one another and blurted to Dan,

"Dude, what the hell?"

"I have no idea why you guys can't just be happy for Sienna and I."

"We are." Brady answered

"We are, trust us" chimed Nate "but don't you guys think you're rushing this? Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"What about Blair, then?" Brady questioned.

Nate took his eyes away from Dan and looked at Brady. "Wait… you know Blair?"

"Yes, but who doesn't'? I met her in Dan's office a while ago" Brady was now locking eyes with Dan "and they were talking. Blair Waldorf is something, that's for sure."

"That she is Brady! She sure does have a flair for the dramatics and I mean that sincerely as one of her oldest friends and as an ex."

"Whoa. Wait a minute. You dated her too? So Chuck, Dan, and you have all dated her? Now that makes me feel out of this bromance you two have going on."

"Ughh… guys? I'm still here!" Dan said as he snapped his fingers in the air to get Nate and Brady's attention.

"I'm… Nate and I…We're happy that you and Sienna have found each other. We totally support your nuptials, but what we can't grasp is having it next week."

"It seems really rash and not something our friend Dan Humphrey would do."

"Yeah, I agree with Nate. There is a bigger issue that is hidden by this hasty marriage. Something is definitely amiss here," adds Brady.

"Look, I understand what both of you are trying to say and I'm grateful to have loyal friends in you both, but Sienna and I know what we are doing. Whether we get married next week or next year, our love for each other will still be the same, even when we are both old and grey."

"Your love is nothing less to Sienna, but that's not the issue at hand anyways, Dan. Something big happened and I have an inkling that in order to appease Sienna, you decided to move up the wedding date."

"Just stop pushing, both of you."

"No! We plan on finding out the tr-"

"Fine! You both want the truth?" Dan bursted.

Nate and Brady simply nodded in agreement.

Lowering his tone so none of the other patrons would hear, Dan continued,

"I…I made an error in judgment. And because of my mistake I sa-"

"Dan get to the point! You are not writing a novel right now!"

"Yes! Stop rambling!"

"I…I sl-… I had sex with Blair!"

"WHAT?" Brady and Nate both gasped, letting the other dinners glare at the three men.

"SHHH….SHUT UP! It didn't mean anything… it was just a heat of the moment event."

"I know, from personal experience, these events are anything but meaningless, Dan. Does Sienna know? Is this why you guys are rushing?" Nate asks.

"Yes she does know, actually Serena texted her, but that's a whole other story not worth mentioning. I found out that she broke off her engagement to Chuck… and other things… then one thing lead to another. And yes, I kind of gave her this idea to move up the date as an act of forgiveness, and she accepted."

"Seriously Dan, what the hell? This whole marriage isn't going to start off well!"

"Let Sienna and I decide that for ourselves."

"You can't go through with this. Not unless you've labeled what you're feelings for Blair are. Don't say there aren't any, especially now Blair is no longer planning to be a Bass!"

* * *

**Meanwhile…**

_In the ladies' room…_

Sienna was also getting the third degree burn. Vanessa and Evangeline were not buying any of it and let Sienna know they didn't.

"What's the rush Sienna? Are you pregnant?"

"I have grown to like you Sienna, and I love Dan; he is my oldest and closest friend, but I'm just not sure if this is a good idea, for either of you." Vanessa stated.

"Why can't the two of you just be happy for us?"

"We are… but we wonder why so suddenly, especially since you were planning for a wedding next year?"

"There have been some new developments in our relationship, and Dan and I figured the sooner we get married the better our lives will be!"

That seemed to shut Vanessa and Evangeline up as all they could do was look at each other in disbelief.

Rejoining the men at the table, everyone felt the awkward tension so each couple said their goodbyes and called it an early evening.

When Dan collapsed into the sofa of their condo as Sienna was removing her heels, Dan kept replaying the conversation he had with Brady and Nate. Before he realized it, his thoughts were heard by Sienna, as Dan asked (more to himself than anyone else),

"Are we really doing the right thing?"

* * *

_Wish that we could skip to the part when we was married oh  
Skip the walks in tha park_

_I wanna carry ya_

_Back to our own place  
Dont wanna waste another day  
You already know what you mean to  
I like tha things you like  
You like tha things i like  
So dont hesitate tonight  
I like the things you like  
You like the things i do  
So come one and come on lets go_

_Fast Forward into the future_  
_Cuz i can spend forever with you_  
_Fast Forward into our destiny_

_Cuz theres so many things we can do  
If you push my buttons we can go to the next scene  
If you push my buttons we can go to the next scene  
If you push mu buttons we can go to the next scene  
If you push my buttons ffwd_

_Sometimes it's like its kinda hard to see the future_  
_But i dont think we can fall any deeper_  
_Imma tell you once imma tell you twice dont let this slip away_  
_So baby push my green button make tommarow today_

_I like tha things you like_  
_You like tha things i like_  
_Yeah yeah_  
_So dont hesitate tonight_  
_I like the things you like_  
_You like the things i do_

_Fast Forward into the future_  
_Cuz i can spend forever with you_  
_Fast Forward into our destiny_  
_Cuz theres so many things we can do_  
_If you push my buttons we can go to the next scene_  
_If you push my buttons we can go to the next scene_  
_If you push mu buttons we can go to the next scene_  
_If you push my buttons ffwd_

_If you push my buttons_  
_If you push my buttons_  
_If you push my buttons_  
_Alright_  
_If you push my buttons_  
_If you push my buttons_  
_Ffwd_

_Fast Forward into the future_  
_Cuz i can spend forever with you_  
_Fast Forward into our destiny_  
_Cuz theres so many things we can do_  
_If you push my buttons we can go to the next scene_  
_If you push my buttons we can go to the next scene_  
_If you push mu buttons we can go to the next scene_  
_If you push my buttons ffwd_  
_If you push my buttons we can go to the next scene_  
_If you push my buttons we can go to the next scene_  
_If you push mu buttons we can go to the next scene_  
_If you push my buttons ffwd_

* * *

Since Dan's premature departure after their throes of passion, Blair has thrown herself into 3 things: Audrey, Waldorf Designs, and purging.

Surprisingly enough, caring for Audrey had been the easiest of the 3. Motherhood became easier for Blair without the stress and pressures of settling down and becoming Blair Bass. Audrey would rarely be fussy nowadays which helps Blair work on Waldorf Designs.

Being at work as head of Waldorf Designs after dissolving an engagement was not fun, just ask Blair.

As she walks through the building doors and heads to her office, she can hear the snickers and gossip being passed around. She can hear them now

"OMG! Blair Waldorf without her engagement ring? Who in their right mind would give up marrying Chuck Bass?"

To make matters worse, Waldorf Designs itself had started to plummet in sales. Sales would drop even further once word got out that Blair Waldorf broke off her engagement to Chuck. Blair was diligently working on another line that she thought may bring sales back up but found out that her old rival, Poppi Lifton, had the same idea for her line, much thanks to Nelly Yuki. It was going to be difficult to go back to the drawing board, but even more difficult with the disrespect of her underlings.

Whenever she had free time, in between her hectic work schedule and caring for Audrey, Blair was constantly stuffing her face, and then spending hours holed up in the bathroom purging and sobbing.

Everyone around Blair had their suspicions, which only fueled the fire even more in the rumor mill. They were all suspicions… until one afternoon, where she was caught by the one person in the world that shouldn't have caught her.

It was Saturday afternoon; Blair had just dropped Audrey off to spend time with Chuck. After making small-talk with Chuck in regards to Audrey, Blair felt she needed to do something to fill her time. What better way to kill the hours than with a trip to the museum!

Musée d'Orsay houses the world's most important collection of impressionist and post-impressionist paintings. Its light, airy rooms whir you through three floors of modern wonders, from Degas' ethereal dancers to Monet's water lilies, all the way to Gaugin's leafy jungles. Major works by Van Gogh, Delacroix, Manet, and others await at Musée d'Orsay. Today, the museum was having a fantastic special exhibition on Victor Baltard.

As she admired Baltard's work, she ran into no one other than Dan.

"Humphrey, what are you doing here?"

"Taking in art and culture. Baltard's exhibition using painting and architecture for Paris' Parish services is a good example of that. What are _you_ doing here, Blair?"

"Like you said, taking in art and culture."

Moving in sync throughout museum and admiring different works, Dan and Blair stayed silent. After admiring Manet's _The Luncheon on the Grass_, Dan spoke for the first time since they've encountered each other, with his arms crossed as he looked at another Manet painting.

"She knows."

"She knows what?"

"That I slept with you."

Blair slapped Dan's chest and he doubled over in pain.

"Why the hell did you tell her?"

"I didn't… she figured it out because Serena texted her."

"Ugh… I should've known!"

Dan hadn't looked at Blair once during their exchange until he looked her dead in the eyes and said,

"We're getting married a week from today."

At that, Blair's face deadpans. She opens her mouth thinking of a snide remark for their need to get married so fast, but… she just can't say anything. She feels she doesn't have a right to.

"I…I…I have to go."

"Blair…Blair... wait!"

Too late however, as Blair makes her escape through the museum, her heels incessantly clicking along the linoleum floors as she does.

Instead of making her way out however, Blair spots the ladies' room and takes a detour.

Dan stands dumfounded and rooted for 2 seconds before chasing after Blair.

As Dan is about to get outside, he passes by the bathroom and hears what sounds like a woman sobbing and wretching.

He stands by the door for a second and hears the wretching get louder. Knocking on the door harder than he would've liked, Dan feared that the woman inside was Blair.

"Blair?"

His tone was soft but there was no reply, so he yelled louder.

"Blair?"

Still no reply.

Dan was really worried by now and did what he thought was the right thing to do – kick down the museum door.

There was vomit all over the toilet and floor, but Dan couldn't have cared as all he thought was getting to Blair.

Dan's biggest fear came true – Blair was vomiting once again and now she was caught by the one person in the world who shouldn't have – Dan Humphrey.

Sprawled over one of the open stalls and not looking well at all was Blair Waldorf.

"BLAIR!"

* * *

_Yo, my best friend, best friend til the very end  
Cause best friends, best friends don't have to pretend  
You need a hand, and I'm right there right beside you  
You in the dark, I'll be the bright light to guide you  
'Member the times, times, times sneaking out the house  
All of the times, times, times that you had the doubts  
And don't forget all the trouble we got into  
We got something you can't undo, do_

_Laughing so damn hard_  
_Crashed your dad's new car_  
_All the scars we share_  
_I promise, I swear_

_Wherever you go, just always remember_  
_That you got a home for now and forever_  
_And if you get low, just call me whenever_  
_This is my oath to you_  
_Wherever you go, just always remember_  
_You're never alone, we're birds of a feather_  
_And we'll never change, no matter the weather_  
_This is my oath to you_

_I know I drive you crazy, mm, sometimes_  
_I know I called you lazy, and that's most times_  
_But you complete me, and that's no lie_  
_You are my tuxedo, and I'm your bow tie_  
_We in the car, sing, sing, singing our song_  
_Rocking the building, tear it down, like we king kong_  
_And in my eyes, you can't do, do no wrong_  
_You got the best friends sing, sing along_

_Laughing so damn hard_  
_Crashed your dad's new car_  
_All the scars we share_  
_I promise, I swear_

_Wherever you go, just always remember_  
_That you got a home for now and forever_  
_And if you get low, just call me whenever_  
_This is my oath to you_  
_Wherever you go, just always remember_  
_You're never alone, we're birds of a feather_  
_And we'll never change, no matter the weather_  
_This is my oath to you_

_I'll never let you go_  
_Woah, this is my oath to you_  
_Just thought that you should know_  
_Woah, this is my oath to you_

_Yeah..._

_Wherever you go, just always remember_  
_That you got a home for now and forever_  
_And if you get low, just call me whenever_  
_This is my oath to you_  
_Wherever you go, just always remember_  
_You're never alone, we're birds of a feather_  
_And we'll never change, no matter the weather_  
_This is my oath to you_

_Oh Ohh_  
_You should know, you should know, you should know, you should know_  
_Yeah Ohh_  
_Woah, this is my oath to you_  
_You're never alone, we're birds of a feather_  
_Woah, this is my oath to you_


	16. AN Rant

_Ok, this is a long A/N rant so I've posted this separately from the fic. I've been adding my thoughts throughout the whole week and trying to therapeutically rid my angst so I can live a normal life again. You can skip this if you want (but hopefully not).The next chapter is after this however. _

_So I've been off of Dair Tumblr for like a couple of weeks cuz of midterms and when I check the tags now…I just don't know what to think. But I was happy there were happy looking Peighton pics after those miserable looking wedding pics! _

_Why do Chair fans hate on our tags? Cuz they know their ship is shit and must bag on our legit ship! I'm also Natefused as to Chair fans accusing Dair plummeting the ratings while it continues to plummet now even though it's the Chair show once again. #Natefused _

_Yes, Penn shaved his head and totally looks hot! I've always liked men with short hair not an unruly mop head! But I can tolerate his hair in the beginning of this season. S5 hair was just NO, Penn. _

_**CONGRATULATIONS!**__ The actors are now free (especially Penn who wanted out years ago)! Whatever happens in their lives, I wish them all the best (but moreso for Leighton as I thought she was the whole show)! I just want Peighton to keep in touch though and it would be a bonus if they coupled IRL, though I still believe they are dating Zoe and Aaron, respectively (boo! I'm not familiar with Aaron, so who cares, if it was Sebastian then I'd think about it; I don't care if Zoe is Lenny Kravitz's daughter – still boo!)._

_I saw the pics from the wrap-up party and the food-fight and as much as I hate the show, I can't help but feel a __**speck**__ of sadness as I did spend 5 years around this show and the fact it is finally over for good (but it's for the best and long overdue IMO). Apparently Blake wasn't at the formal party as she was reported heading to China with Ryan for their honeymoon. But Sebastian was! _

_Yes, the Georgina/Blair bailout… whatever happened to that? TBH that was my theory for S6 and why Blair chose wrong. _

_CB's ship name sounds terrible in comparison to DB's. C'mon Chair? Ugh… why the hell would someone ever ship a piece of shitty built furniture? Dair just sounds more intense and hot as a ship name! __**DAIR IS THE SHIT! DARE TO DAIR BITCHES!**_

_Ok, just because Rihanna/Chris Brown have supposedly gotten back together (that is a whole other issue btw) that does not give writers a sense of justification for Chair! _

_And as much as I think Cabbage Patch is an endearing nickname, I never like calling Dan that because the initials are CB, which only reminds me of Chuck Bass or Chris Brown (Do you see a pattern?) and how much I want to assassinate Chuck._

_They have the handsome vacant one (saw the Georgina clip and I LOL) still sleeping with guest stars. They supposedly have characters incestuously marrying each other (I thought this show was classy not redneck… but it is SVDW after all.). And they always return to this bullshit of "epic love" involving games and pimping for a hotel. TO C'S UNCLE JACK. FOR A HOTEL. A HO-FUCKING-TEL! THAT IS SO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS! THEY CALL THAT CHARACTER GROWTH? _

_**CHARACTER GROWTH MY ASS! MOST EPIC FAIL! THE ONLY CHARACTER GROWTH WAS WHEN DAIR HAPPENED! IF THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS 6 YEARS HAVING SUPPOSEDLY GROWN OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL, JUST IMAGINE ANOTHER 6 YEARS FFWD! I WANT TO GOUGE MY EYES OUT!**_

_From Tumblr posts, I know about Blair's lowblow statement about Dan being an errand boy like her minions... BUT then we get the "Serena's bed is empty, make yourself at home." statement. Is it just me, or does that Serena statement sound like a double entendre? WTF? OMG Leighton seemed so emotional in that clip than anything with Ed. BUT, then I hear Tumblr rants of the writers toying with us with that same clip just to get a minute boost in ratings! _

_WTF was with the Freaky Friday shit? D and C switch? If I wanted to see Freaky Friday, I would have seen it on my dvd! Jamie Lee Curtis and not fucked up Lilo are more entertaining! WHEN I THOUGHT THE WRITERS COULDN'T DO ANY WORSE (STUPID THINKING), THEY DID IT! THEY REALLY DID IT! THEY RECYCLED DAIR TO ACCOMMODATE CHAIR MAKING CHUCK GOOD AND DAN AN ASS! SUCH AN INSULT! WTF? And Blair – WTF DOES "YOU READ ME LIKE TEA LEAVES" MEAN? And: "MY BACK IS UP AGAINST THE WALL, AND NOT IN A HOT CHUCK BASS KIND OF WAY." AGAIN… WTF?_

_BUT POOR NELLY YUKI __ SHE'S PROBABLY DROWNING HERSELF IN TAYLOR SWIFT OR ADELE AS WE SPEAK, JUST LIKE THE REST OF DAIR FANDOM. SHE WAS LOOKING PRETTY GOOD TOO!_

_The outfits still look horrendous, like they've raided the "high end" section of Kesha's closet! And that's saying a lot ppl! . _

_I saw the gif of the "hug" and __**FFS **__was that not awkward or what? EPIC FAIL! Sheldon and Penny's hug from the BBT Christmas episode was more meaningful than this shit! I felt like Alex in Children of Men movie (played by Ed Westwick oddly enough). Wow…just wow! LOL to the Voldemort and Draco comments, which really reminds me I should never venture out of the HP world. And the 1 time Chuck doesn't sex it up with Blair, she is wearing hot as fuck lingerie! Like, I'd tap that! What up with that… well he does love purple, bowties, and handkerchiefs… and the book series…. Chair fans are so hypocritical by saying Dair lying in bed and not having sex is boring and no chemistry, but when Chair does that it's sweet. And Blair's reference to Nicki Minaj – __**NO, NO, HELL NO! DO NOT BRING HER INTO THE SHOW'S SHIT! **__I need someone to hold my giant hoop earrings when I take em off and the writers and I, we gonna scrap like Minaj and Carey or Aguilera (Aguilera + alligator = Aguilator) and Levine! _

_Leighton said she was happy for Blair's last moments, when at the wrap-up party… so I'm not sure what to think! I love her acting but she has no feeling in it even with a higher and faster pitch and sounds as unfeeling as Blake throughout the whole series. (I'm kinda sad she cut her hair cuz I loved her long brunette locks __ but she still looks hot no doubt! – I think it's cute though that Peighton cut their hair to officially remove themselves from this disaster of a show!) I'm just waiting for Chuckstan's butthurt, in which I can happily reply by doing a DX crotch chop (WWE) and saying __**"SUCK IT BITCHES!**__" So tired of their arrogance! BUT SO HAPPY THAT PEIGHTON ARE TEAM DAIR AS WELL! _

_I JUST DON'T GET HOW THE WRITERS MADE SUCH AN AMAZING OTP FROM A SHIT SHOW ONLY TO FUCK THEM UP AS WELL (BASICALLY A COCK BLOCK – WELL A VAG BLOCK IN THIS CASE!)! YOU HAD SETH/SUMMER IN THE OC… AND NOW THIS? Ok, even if Blair doesn't end up with Dan (fingers crossed that she does, though probably pointless), she should at least be happy on her own and finding herself, not whining and having Chuck attached to her hip! I'd rather see her alone than with "Suck"! Why do the writers give in to Chuckstans and THEIR fan service? I understand it's a CW show but really… there's a line that you just don't cross! _

_O but I do love all the conspiracy theories on Tumblr, my fav being that someone posted their thought was that the whole series of GG was a Polish soap opera that Dorota had been watching and it ends with Dorota turning her tv off and badmouthing it in Polish! ;P LOL XD – Close second was a DBZ post and the Dair fandom going Supersaiyan! _

_Sidenote: As a Canadian, this goddamn NHL lockout sucks! C'mon I could be spending my Monday evenings watching hockey instead of tempting myself with GG! I understand why they are in a lockout and respect them, but still, I NEED HOCKEY! I watch a bit of the AHL however. GO VANCOUVER GIANTS WHO ARE BETTER THAN THE CANUCKS! IS ROBERTO LUONGO STILL A CANUCK CUZ I CAN'T STAND HIM! And in baseball, the Yankees are out of the World Series – NOOO! I guess I'm rooting for San Francisco! _

_Heads-up: I don't know when I'll end this fic but I might plan for end of November if I continue to be on schedule with updates. If I don't end by then as I either haven't updated on time or have extended this fic, I will still continue to update until end of November. I WILL NOT update in December because I'll be in FINALS MODE AND CHRISTMAS/FAMILY MODE! If I continue, I will pick up in January. I hope everyone understands this. I'll make a reminder the as the weeks go on._

_I will now focus on PLL! The Halloween special was awesome! But sad to hear Secret Life of the American Teenager will end as well. _

_I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE WHO HAS CONGRATULATED ME ON MY STUDIES! _

_THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO IS STILL READING THIS FIC AND IS STILL PART OF THE DAIR FANDOM! __**KEEP CALM AND DARE TO DAIR ON!**_

_ENJOY this rant and the next chapter, which is posted after this. Please comment on next chapter and feel free to comment on this rant as well (but I don't accept flaming by Chair shippers)! _


	17. Caring for the One You 'Ought to Forget

_Song lyrics in this chapter: "You Found Me" – The Fray, "Six Degrees of Separation" – The Script, and "Red" – Taylor Swift_

_Don't own GG, Dair would've so been endgame if I did. Mistakes are mine. As always, R&R plz! Enjoy chapter 16! I'm really sorry for my long (but true) rant!_

* * *

Blair awoke to the murmurs of strangers hovering over her, the constant blaring and bleeping of machines that she was hooked up to, and the blinding effects of the bright fluorescent lights.

A woman who resembled Headmistress McGonagall came forth and spoke with a heavy French accent.

Hey, as much as Blair loves classic Brit lit such as in the cases of Austen, the Bronte sisters, Chaucer, Keats, Tennyson, and Wordsworth, or watch movies such as _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ or _Nights of Cabiria_, that doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy fantasy novels such as Rowling's _Harry Potter_ series or its movie adaptations. _50 Shades of Grey _and _Twilight_ were nowhere near her radar of good reads or good movies, however.

"Ms. Waldorf, please sit back and rest. You have been heavily sedated so you will not have much energy."

Ever the persistent woman, Blair was unwilling to take orders from this inept French nurse who probably slept with all the men during medical school, and whose accent was indecipherable.

"It would probably help if you took a mint or two… or the whole package," Blair thought to herself.

With all of Blair's strength that was found in her petite frame, she jutted forward to an upright position as she fended off the nurse that insisted she lay back down.

With all of the ruckus and commotion Blair was creating in that moment, a balding mid 40's man in a doctor's coat rushed in to quickly diffuse the situation. As he simmered the nurse and Blair down, Blair got a good look at the doctor. She noticed he was similar to Cyrus and sounded sweet and gentle like her father and Roman, with the faintest hint of an accent.

"Ms. Waldorf, I am Dr. Savant. Please, you must lie down and reserve your strength. You've already been heavily sedated but I can see you fighting it, which isn't the best idea."

Opening her mouth to respond, Blair found nothing was coming out. Her throat was dry. Dr. Savant realized Blair's struggle and handed her a paper cup filled to the brim with cool refreshing water. As soon as her parched lips felt the cool sensation of water, she felt a surge of energy rush throughout her body, like a broken down computer that had been rebooted.

Placing the now empty paper cup on the side table, where a stack of magazines with photos of The Wanted on the front cover lazily laid, Blair wondered how or why she was at the hospital with an IV probing her body.

As if the doctor had read her mind, he answered,

"You are currently being treated in the hospital after a Good Samaritan dropped you off having found you sprawled over a toilet with vomit everywhere. You seemed to be in and out of consciousness at the time but were treated with sedatives as you began to act hysterical, Ms. Waldorf."

"Da-" Blair tried to say, as she knew Dan was this Good Samaritan who brought her in, but instead she ended up coughing.

Blair finally relented and Dr. Savant and the French nurse quietly exited to let Blair get comfortable in order to doze off.

Tossing and turning in the limited space of her uncomfortable, rigid, hospital bed, Blair observed with scrutiny at the confines of her overwhelmingly bright eggshell white room. The room had this suffocating mixture of death and antiseptic spray, which Blair obviously turned her nose up to. Her room was stark and empty, devoid of anything bright or cheerful, except for a vase full of lavender colored peonies to the right of her. Looking at the beauty of the peonies, there was a note scribbled on a card attached.

_Waldorf,_

_I don't know what's going on and why you felt the need to resort to bulimia again, but I can't let you continue to do this to yourself or to Audrey. I know it's not really my place but I really think you should contact a professional and ask for help. But you have to know that this is NOT YOUR FAULT._

_As Dickens once said, "Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."_

_Remind yourself that you're Blair Waldorf. _

_And the Blair Waldorf I know, no matter what my feelings are: is fiercely strong, independent, outspoken, beautiful, intelligent, intuitive, and most importantly, capable of anything._

_I know I've said this before and you can argue all you want that I never stayed true to my word (although you know why), that no matter what happens and as much as it pains me to say this…_

_You'll always have me._

_D_

With that, Blair closed her teary eyes with the hastily written, but meaningful card hugged against her chest, as she heaved breathes lulling her to sleep and forgetting about her bulimia and the fact she was in a disgusting hospital bed.

* * *

_I found God_

_On the corner of First and Amistad_

_Where the west_

_Was all but won_

_All alone_

_Smoking his last cigarette_

_I said, "Where you been?"_

_He said, "Ask anything"._

_Where were you_

_When everything was falling apart?_

_All my days_

_Were spent by the telephone_

_That never rang_

_And all I needed was a call_

_That never came_

_To the corner of First and Amistad_

_Lost and insecure_

_You found me, you found me_

_Lyin' on the floor_

_Surrounded, surrounded_

_Why'd you have to wait?_

_Where were you? Where were you?_

_Just a little late_

_You found me, you found me_

_In the end_

_Everyone ends up alone_

_Losing her_

_The only one who's ever known_

_Who I am_

_Who I'm not, who I wanna be_

_No way to know_

_How long she will be next to me_

_Lost and insecure_

_You found me, you found me_

_Lyin' on the floor_

_Surrounded, surrounded_

_Why'd you have to wait?_

_Where were you? Where were you?_

_Just a little late_

_You found me, you found me_

_Early morning_

_The city breaks_

_I've been callin'_

_For years and years and years and years_

_And you never left me no messages_

_Ya never send me no letters_

_You got some kinda nerve_

_Taking all I want_

_Lost and insecure_

_You found me, you found me_

_Lyin' on the floor_

_Where were you? Where were you?_

_Lost and insecure_

_You found me, you found me_

_Lyin' on the floor_

_Surrounded, surrounded_

_Why'd you have to wait?_

_Where were you? Where were you?_

_Just a little late_

_You found me, you found me_

_Why'd you have to wait?_

_To find me, to find me_

* * *

Dan paced around for hours in the waiting room, with several cups of the most horrific tasting coffee. Since he wasn't family, the doctor couldn't give him any specifics, but since he did bring Blair in, the sympathetic nurses tried to update him as much as they could, seeing how worried he was as if he knew this woman for forever (oh, if they only knew).

He called Nate and Vanessa who solemnly showed up and tried to calm Dan – to no avail. Although Vanessa and Blair never got along, she would never wish this upon anyone, not even Blair Waldorf. And seeing her boyfriend and her oldest friend both worried over Blair, how could she not feel the same way.

After calling Nate and Vanessa, Dan even tried calling Serena. His taut body couldn't dial her number at first, still feeling bitter, and when he finally did, she didn't bother to pick up on his two attempts. At least she relented on the third. Even after the bullshit they've all been through in this love-square (pentagon?), Dan knew Blair would have wanted Serena here and that Serena would come in a heartbeat if asked.

Thankfully, Serena did. She showed up face devoid of any make-up or other beauty products and her blonde locks in a loose ponytail, with a sweater and worn-out jeans. Serena faced Nate, Vanessa, and Dan with genuine concern that matched her friends'. Dan and Serena made small talk, which would be the start of them righting their wrongs with each other.

Dan thought to call Sienna and tell her what transpired over the past hours, and maybe asking her to join and comfort him. He eventually decided against making the call because that last thing his fiancé needs to hear is that he was the knight in shining armor for his ex, saving her in the nick of time, a week before he was marrying Sienna.

He asked the front desk if they had called Chuck. The receptionist replied vaguely,

"Mr. Bass would be arriving shortly."

It sounded really strange to Dan. C'mon, even if they aren't engaged anymore, Chuck spent most of his years winning Blair's love, Dan would have at least thought Chuck would hear this and come-a-running with Audrey in tow. To Dan, the response was more like a business meeting being delayed as they wait for a board member to arrive.

To fill the void of the wait, Dan was vigorously texting Brady about Blair. Dan felt relief that he could tell someone about his worries and wouldn't necessarily be judged by them, as Brady was his only friend that wasn't part of the UES. Though there was once a time when Dan was fascinated by the NJBC, he became familiar enough with them to know the NJBC was S-T-U-P-I-D.

He looked over at Nate comforting Vanessa in an embrace, and Serena looking a mess but vigorously texting someone, as well.

A while later, Nate, Vanessa, and Serena went to for a walk around the hospital but Dan stayed behind. 12 minutes after asking the receptionist for the 5th time where Chuck was, the Basstard finally showed up. He had what only Dan could assume was a nanny trailing hurriedly behind him with a stroller with Audrey securely strapped in and bubbling with giddiness, unknowing that her mother was far from giddy.

" 'Bout time Bass."

Addressing Dan with a tone of indifference, Chuck asked,

"How is she?"

"I don't really know; I'm not family. From what the nurses have told me, she's been sedated from earlier hysterics and needs to rest. Where have you been, Chuck?"

"I don't have to answer you."

"No, but you will have to answer to Blair when she demands of your whereabouts."

"Davika, please take Audrey for a stroll around the building, while I have a word with this disheveled bohemian. The outside of the building, I don't want my daughter getting sick here."

The nanny did as she was told.

Due to the circumstances, Dan let that backhanded insult slide.

"How long has she been here?" Chuck questioned.

"3-4 hours… I think."

"Chuck, how…how… long's it been since…since…?"

"Since she last, you-know-what?" Chuck finished Dan's question.

Dan swallowed a lump that had been stuck in his throat and nodded.

"This is her first relapse since the whole hotel fiasco with my Uncle Jack… at least from what I know."

Dan's face hardened at that memory but slowly nodded.

A beat passed, and then Dan spoke.

"I think you should call Eleanor and Cyrus and Harold and Roman."

"I did, right after I got the call from the receptionist. They are all on their way as we speak."

Another moment of silence.

"I know you don't think much of me Humphrey and my actions towards Blair over the years have basically proven case and point of that, but… but in my own fucked up way, I loved her…"

Dan noted the past tense with a raised eyebrow, which made Chuck continue.

"Don't get me wrong… I still love her Humdrum, but I've finally realized our "epic love" has always been and forever will be considered toxic. Our love may have been epic and maybe that's what Blair wants… but it's not the type of love that she needs."

"Look who's getting all philosophical."

"It's true. An "epic love" is not what she needs. Blair has always asked for the fairytale but her royal prince was not as suave as he made us all believe. Nate… well Nate was Nate, the dream of the childhood romance that would be forever… but really wasn't. Me, with my Bruce Wayne voice, you already know. You however Humdrum… the Brooklyn Benedict frog… you are the love that she needs. Whether romantically or just as her friend, you give her everything that none of her previous suitors ever could… a meaningful give-and-take friendship… and a heart. That is something no amount of money could ever compare to; it's priceless, Dan."

After Chuck's omission, all Dan could do was chuckle.

"Why are you laughing? Do you know how difficult that was for me to say? I had to suck up all my pride for that."

"Oh, I know that was difficult for you, but I also know how serious you meant by it. I remember telling you that you never had a heart, outside the coffee shop a while back – I guess you've finally done something right and proved me wrong, Chuck. By the way, you called me Dan."

"What? No, I did not."

"Keep telling yourself that, Bass. Keeeep telling yourself that and maybe you'll believe it."

Like clockwork, or a corny, predictable primetime show, where everything magically happens… Davika with Audrey, Nate, Vanessa, and Serena, magically reappear after the heart-to-heart.

"Please tell me that World War III didn't occur while we were all away." Vanessa warily states.

"Ha-ha, very funny." Dan responds dryly.

Chuck's face still falls flat and his eyebrows knit together.

After sharing a small chuckle with almost everyone, Dr. Savant appears before the group.

"Ms. Waldorf may now have visitors. She is doing fine but I would like to keep her overnight for observation. One person at a time for a few minutes; however she may still be groggy under the influence of the sedatives. So… who's seeing her first?"

Everyone looked around and just assumed Chuck would proceed first but to their astonishment, Chuck mumbled, without the disdain he usually carries for his name,

"Humphrey."

Needless to say, that made everyone in the waiting room catch a breath, especially Dan.

"What are you waiting for, Humphrey? I said you can see Blair first; don't make me regret that decision."

Following behind Dr. Savant and the nurses, Dan looked back on the faces of Nate, Vanessa, Serena, Chuck, and finally Audrey. He took another two steps forward, before turning once more and looking at Chuck square in the eyes and stuttering,

"Th..Thanks."

When Dan was off, Nate, trying to lighten the mood joked, "It looks like I'm getting the shaft in this bromance."

That didn't really help as Nate could hear awkward chuckles all around.

* * *

_You've read the books,_

_You've watched the shows,_

_What's the best way no one knows, yeah,_

_Meditate, get hypnotized._

_Anything to take from your mind._

_But it won't, ohhhh ohhh_

_You're doing all these things out of desperation,_

_Ohhh ohhh,_

_You're going through six degrees of separation._

_You hit the drink, you take a toke_

_Watch the past go up in smoke._

_Fake a smile, yeah, lie and say that,_

_You're better now than ever, and your life's okay_

_When it's not. No._

_You're doing all these things out of desperation,_

_Ohhh ohhh,_

_You're going through six degrees of separation._

_First, you think the worst is a broken heart_

_What's gonna kill you is the second part_

_And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle_

_And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself_

_Fifth, you see them out with someone else_

_And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little_

_(Oh no there ain't no help, it's every man for himself)_

_(No no there ain't no help, it's every man for himself)_

_You tell your friends, yeah, strangers too,_

_Anyone who'll throw an arm around you, yeah_

_Tarot cards_

_Gems and stones,_

_Believing all that shit is gonna heal your soul._

_Well it's not, wohhhh_

_You're only doing things out of desperation,_

_Ohhh ohhh,_

_You're goin' through six degrees of separation._

_First, you think the worst is a broken heart_

_What's gonna kill you is the second part_

_And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle_

_And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself_

_Fifth, you see them out with someone else_

_And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little_

_No there's no starting over,_

_Without finding closure, you'd take them back,_

_No hesitation,_

_That's when you know you've reached the sixth degree of separation_

_No there's no starting over,_

_Without finding closure, you'd take them back,_

_No hesitation,_

_That's when you know you've reached the sixth degree of separation_

_First, you think the worst is a broken heart_

_What's gonna kill you is the second part_

_And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle_

_And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself_

_Fifth, you see them out with someone else_

_And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little_

* * *

"Are you ready to see her?"

"Yes."

Dan couldn't really remember how it was he ended up standing outside the door, just steps from Blair's room, but there he was.

"Mr. Humphrey?" Dr. Savant's voice called out as he waved a hand in front of his face.

"Sorry," he offered a small smile. "I must have zoned out."

Pushing away from the wall, and wiping his misty eyes, Dan followed Dr. Savant through the door; the low hums of machinery greeting them. Dan couldn't help the anxiety and fear that had crept into his body. He sucked in his breath and willed his strength.

Dan was certain his heart stopped beating as he took in the sight. Blair – lying on a hospital bed. Blair – with her long brunette locks splayed every which way on her pillow. Blair – looking so fragile, but not broken. Blair - with Dan's heart in her hands. He felt every emotion; relief, shame, adoration, regret, happiness, heartbreak, fear, guilt, love, and unbelievably thankful…all of it, all at once.

As Dr. Savant took another look at Blair, Dan stood absolutely still. He couldn't move; he was scared to move, scared to breathe.

His eyes scanned her pale and thin body as he finally took a step towards her. As he moved closer it was as though his stress and anxiety pulled away from him; inch by inch. And when he reached her side, he was breathing again; really breathing again. He still wasn't completely sure what to do or what to say, but he did know that by her side was exactly where he should be – forgetting about his fiancé sitting at home worried, forgetting he was getting married next week to a woman who wasn't lying in this hospital bed, and forgetting the woman who was lying in this hospital bed, destroyed Dan.

He debated for only half a second before he took her hand in his and as he did so, Dan realized Blair was tightly hugging the card against her chest. Feeling her hand in his and seeing her reaction to his card, made Dan feel those feelings about Blair he had long repressed. But he pushed those thoughts off to the side as this was neither the time nor place to contemplate these "Natefused" feelings. He leaned back into the chair and allowed his eyes to flutter, allowing himself, for just a moment, to rest his eyes, to rest his mind, to rest his heart.

Not even 5 minutes have passed and Dan jostles his eyes open. His eyes met hers and however groggy she was she managed to smile up at him, which he returned appreciatively.

"Hey…" was all Dan could say, losing all his articulation as a writer.

He could see the outline of tears forming underneath those doe-eyes of Blair's as she profusely apologizes.

"I'm… sorry… I'm so sorry, Dan. I don't know what I was thinking, or why I was the insecure little girl I was back in high school. For God's sakes, I'm a mother now, myself! It's just that when you said you were marrying Sienna next week, I just couldn't handle that blow."

"Hey, hey, hey… do not start apologizing or blaming yourself for any of this. Did you not read my little card that accompanied the bouquet of peonies, Waldorf? Besides, I shouldn't have ambushed you with that info, so I should be apologizing."

"Well, your handwriting is not very legible so…"

"See, that's the Blair Waldorf and I know and lo... and look forward to seeing more of as my friend."

Blair doesn't say anything but just raises an eyebrow, as if challenging him.

"Nice save, Dan Humphrey" Dan thought to himself.

"Anyways, the card basically says that Blair Waldorf is capable of anything and that her friend, Dan Humphrey, will always be there for her. This is all true."

"What about Sienna?"

"Don't worry about that… just worry about getting better for yourself and for Audrey."

A moment of comfortable silence ensues.

"I should get going; I'll let everyone know that you're fine."

"Who's here? And are you going to visit me?"

"You'll see who's here and I'll try to stop by, but I should really get going, Blair."

Dan leaves to update everyone else, but not before he hears Blair whimper,

"Thank you, Dan."

* * *

_Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street_

_Faster than the wind, passionate as sin ending so suddenly_

_Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall_

_Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all_

_Losing him was blue like I'd never known_

_Missing him was dark grey all alone_

_Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met_

_But loving him was red_

_Loving him was red_

_Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you_

_Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song_

_Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer_

_Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong_

_Losing him was blue like I'd never known_

_Missing him was dark grey all alone_

_Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met_

_But loving him was red_

_Oh red_

_Burning red_

_Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes_

_Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go_

_But moving on from him is impossible_

_When I still see it all in my head_

_Burning red_

_Burning, it was red_

_Oh losing him was blue like I'd never known_

_Missing him was dark grey all alone_

_Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met_

_'Cause loving him was red_

_Yeah, yeah red_

_We're burning red_

_And that's why he's spinnin' 'round in my head_

_Comes back to me, burning red_

_Yeah, yeah_

_His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street_

* * *

Opening the door to his condo, Dan expects Sienna to interrogate his whereabouts.

She did not disappoint as she angrily says,

"Why were you at the hospital with Blair?"


	18. Efforts & Understanding

_So along with other shows like 90210 and Hawaii Five-0, GG too, was postponed due to Hurricane Sandy. Episode 6x04, the episode that gets postponed just happens to be the one with a Dair moment in it. Go figure! I guess Sandy had the same idea, with this Frankenshitstorm. Well... the episode should've just aired… CW, nobody is going to watch it either way… with the exception of Dair fans watching the foyer scene and ONLY that scene._

_I HOPE EVERYONE IS SAFE, WARM, AND SURROUNDED BY LOVED ONES, WHETHER THEY ARE DAIR SHPPERS OR NOT!_

_This… is chapter 17! The NEXT 2 CHAPTERS are the ones EVERY SIENNA HATER HAS BEEN WAITING FOR. The shit will hit the fan. _

_Song lyrics in this chapter: "Take Care" by Drake ft. Rihanna, "If I Knew Then" by Backstreet Boys, and "Keep Your Head Up" by Andy Grammer. _

_OMG, I was sitting in English Poetry/Drama class and reading and discussing Othello. My prof says something I don't remember but all I heard was "all in." I was like WTF! Then, later that day, in between classes I was listening to my iPod to "Worldwide" by Big Time Rush and I heard the lyrics "…don't you worry, cause you have my heart" and I got FEELS EVERYWHERE! WHY CAN'T I GET AWAY FROM IT ALL? THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH SUCH AN AMAZING SHIP! _

_And another thing: I'm doing research for my sociology paper about how young women are portrayed in teen dramas such as GG (you know like being pimped for a hotel to your bf's uncle and being compared to an Arabian horse and whatnot) and I found an article about the CW. Apparently in 2009, the CW's top 3 shows in order were: Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, and Supernatural. I don't watch Supernatural so I wouldn't know, One Tree Hill yes, and GG at the time yes! Reading this now… WTF?! IN A SPAN OF 3 FUCKIN YEARS GG WENT FROM REAL OMG MOMENTS TO OMG WTF IS THIS GOSHIT GIRL SHIT? I NEED A GIF ON TUMBLR NOW TO EXPRESS MYSELF!_

_Anyways, I heard GG series finale on Dec 17 will be two hours, with a retrospective prior to the finale hour like OTH. I'm looking forward to the actors' highlights with the show (if there are still any). But like a comment on Tumblr, they should spend the first hour apologizing for this season. I just hope for everyone's sake, they will do it justice like OTH (though probably not). _

_Speaking of OTH, someone on Tumblr posted about the scene when Nathan gets kidnapped and the whole "Are you Chuck? No means no." LOL Yes! _

_I WILL NEVER NAME MY CHILD CHUCK, CHARLES OR ANY OTHER FORM OF THE NAME BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE THE NAME. IT BRINGS BAD MEMORIES OF CB (I still get nightmares of C in his onesie tracksuit) AND CHUCKIE, THE STUPID DOLL! I SAW THE MOVIE BY ACCIDENT AS A LITTLE KID AND I'VE NEVER LIKED ANY DOLLS SINCE! _

_I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A PLEASANT HALLOWEEN! I didn't do much but that's ok!_

_Sidenote: Yes, San Francisco won the World Series! Sad about the riots though… but nothing in comparison to the Vancouver riots after the Stanley Cup loss. _

_Don't own GG, Idk if I should be happy (no responsibility for goshit girl) or pissed (Dair would've been endgame) but I do own the mistakes here._

_HOLY SHIT THIS FIC IS MORE THAN 65,000 WORDS! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS FIC IS AT 100 REVIEWS! I NEVER IMAGINED THIS WHEN I STARTED IN JULY! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO'S EVER READ AND/OR COMMENTED THIS FIC! I WANT TO HUG EACH AND EVERYONE ONE OF MY LOYALISTS BUT I CAN ONLY GO AS FAR AS HUGGING MY LAPTOP! THANK YOU! I HOPE TO SEE EVEN MORE COMMENTS! _

_When this fic ends, I may start another one about our bbs, either AU S1 or a crossover with OTH or PLL, not sure but we'll see! _

_As always, R&R please!_

* * *

"Why were you at the hospital with Blair?" With her arms crossed as she stood, she expected an answer – a damn good one.

"Seriously, does Serena tell you everything that happens in my life? It's like the two of you are attached to the hip and are the ones getting married! Didn't Serena text you the juicy details?"

"Yes, but I want to hear it from you. I wouldn't have to keep getting these updates from Serena if my fiancé had bothered to pick up the damn phone and tell me himself! But of course you didn't Dan, because you know I'd react negatively."

"This is exactly what you're doing now, might I add."

"And whose fault is that? I wouldn't be happy about it but I'd at least understand the situation at hand, but you not even taking the time out to call me hurt more, especially since I found out that you called Serena and Nate and Vanessa."

"Even if I did call you, what would you have done, Sienna? Hmmm…? You wouldn't come the hospital to comfort me or share your sadness; you'd probably show up and accuse Blair of plotting just so I'd come to her aid, like you know I always would."

It was a long day and Dan did not want to start another yelling match, but he couldn't help it. It seemed to be in his innate nature to defend Blair.

"Wow. It's nice to know how low you think of me!"

"You're shoving your anger down my throat! Am I supposed to believe you'd understand?" Dan growled as he rigidly sat on the sofa.

Joining Dan on the sofa, she took her hand and placed it on Dan's thigh. He normally loved Sienna's little gestures but was only disgusted at this point. Dan got a bad case of déjà vu at Sienna's attempt of understanding; the memory of him holding Blair's hand on Valentine's Day after watching Chuck and Raina flashed in his head but discreetly shook it off to face Sienna.

"Then help me understand, Dan. It seems ever since your first encounter with Blair in like 2 years in our condo, you have been slowly closing yourself off to me."

"I'm really trying not to Sienna but every time I feel like I want to talk to you about Blair, you shut me down with your anger towards her. One way or another, if we really want this marriage to work, you have to trust me when it comes to Blair. She will always be a part of my life as my friend but nothing more; I can't erase her from my history but she isn't my future, at least not romantically."

Taking a moment to digest what Dan had said, Sienna was mentally grinning from ear to ear, but in order to stop pushing Dan further away and sinking into Blair's arms, she needs to play the role of perfectly understanding fiancé.

"Ok. Just know that I'm not pressuring you to reveal anything about Blair. As a writer, I know it'll take you some time to find the right words to express yourself. I want you to know I'm here for you, always."

Those words were a variation of what Dan has always said to Blair. Dan cringed and hoped that Sienna didn't catch it. Thankfully, she didn't.

"I know." Dan says, doing his best to hide the discomfort in his voice, when his phone alerts him of a new text.

**_Dan, Blair's parents are here and say she is doing better. She is asking for you, though. Vanessa_**

"Who was that?"

"Ugh… Vanessa. Blair's parents are at the hospital and are saying she is doing better."

"Why do I sense a 'but'?"

"But... Blair has been asking for me."

A moment and a sharp intake of breathe later, Sienna responds.

"Ok. Would you like me to come with you?"

"Sure… I'd really like that."

Sienna notes the hesitance in his answer but chooses to ignore it.

* * *

"Brady, Evangeline, how long have you two been here?"

"We just got here 15 minutes ago. Nate called Bray to cancel their Call of Duty match and Brady and I rushed here when he told us about Blair." Evangeline explained.

"Well, it's good to see the both of you, well not exactly, but you know what I mean."

"Yeah we do. Likewise, Dan."

After having a chat with Nate, Vanessa, and Serena on Blair, Sienna and Dan learnt that Chuck talked to Blair. Apparently their private talk made even Chuck emotional, that he left afterwards, claiming to send Davika home and put Audrey to bed.

Dan and Sienna walked to the adults. Reaching Eleanor, Cyrus, Harold, and Roman, all with worried expressions, Dan suddenly felt as if he shouldn't have come back but his own worries were forgotten however, when all four of them approached him with open-arms. Introducing Sienna felt awkward to Dan, given the circumstance, but they seemed to have appreciated some good news and grew fond of Sienna immediately.

Breaking away from the group to check on Blair, Dan was held back by Sienna who asked if she could go in first. Looking at Eleanor and Harold for permission, they nodded their heads in approval, so Dan did as well.

* * *

The crack of the door opening seemed to have perked up Blair's ears as she called out, "Dan is that you?"

"Not exactly, Blair."

Blair's face went from giddy to shock to disappointment in 10 seconds flat.

"Sienna, what are you doing here?"

"Your parents allowed me to see you. They are really nice people when you get to know them, which I can't say for their spawn of a daughter."

"If you're here only to make rude comments about me, then you can just leave before I call the nurse to escort you out."

"Whoops! That must've slipped. My reason for being here however is to say Dan and I are getting married next week."

"Yeah, I already know that. That's what led to this situation – Dan told me at the museum and it was all so overwhelming for me."

"I've convinced Dan that I've come to an understanding about his non-existent relationship with you, so I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? For my bulimia relapse?"

"No. I'm sorry that you didn't have enough faith in your relationship with Dan those years ago, leading you to choose Chuck instead. Thing's could've been so different."

"Get out!"

"Gladly. I know you'll tell Dan about this little spat, but he's not delusional about you anymore, so don't think that he will believe you. For the record Blair, I know you are a lot of things but I've never pegged you to be so desperate. But that letter you wrote to Dan proves otherwise.

"I knew it was you this whole time, you conniving little bitch!"

"What? Can't handle being outsmarted by a redhead? It would have been worse if it was Serena. I guess Chuck really is your "epic love" because both of you are pathetic and desperate. According to Dan's novels, Charlie Trout is desperately seeking approval from his daddy, while Clair Carlyle continues her pathetic attempts to domesticate Charlie. Life imitating art, I suppose. How sad, really."

Enjoying the moment of getting under Blair's skin, Sienna had to quickly compose herself as being sullen before meeting everyone else in the waiting room.

Sharing a weak smile with Dan, Dan nodded and gave Sienna a quick squeeze before he headed into Blair's room.

* * *

_I know you've been hurt by someone else_

_I can tell by the way you carry yourself_

_If you let me, here's what I'll do_

_I'll take care of you_

_I've loved and I've lost_

_I've asked about you and they told me things_

_But my mind didn't change_

_And I still feel the same_

_What's a life with no fun? please don't be so ashamed_

_I've had mine, you've had yours we both know_

_We know, they don't get you like I will_

_My only wish is I die real_

_Cause that truth hurts, and those lies heal_

_And you can't sleep thinking that he lies still_

_So you cry still, tears all in the pillow case_

_Big girls all get a little taste_

_Pushing me away so I give her space_

_Dealing with a heart that I didn't break_

_I'll be there for you, I will care for you_

_I keep thinking you just don't know_

_Trying to run from that, say you're done with that_

_On your face girl, it just don't show_

_When you're ready, just say you're ready_

_When all the baggage just ain't as heavy_

_And the party's over, just don't forget me_

_We'll change the pace and we'll just go slow_

_You won't ever have to worry,_

_You won't ever have to hide_

_You've seen all my mistakes_

_So look me in my eyes_

_Cause if you let me, here's what I'll do_

_I'll take care of you_

_I've loved and I've lost_

_Yeah_

_It's my birthday, I'll get high if I want to_

_Can't deny that I want you, but I'll lie if I have to_

_Cause you don't say you love me_

_To your friends when they ask you_

_Even though we both know that you do (you do)_

_One time, been in love one time_

_You and all your girls in the club one time_

_All so convinced that you're following your heart_

_Cause your mind don't control what it does sometimes_

_We all have our nights though, don't be so ashamed_

_I've had mine, you've had yours, we both know_

_We know, you hate being alone_

_You ain't the only one_

_You hate the fact that you bought the dream_

_When they sold you one_

_You love your friends but somebody shoulda told you somethin' to save you_

_Instead they say,_

_Don't tell me, I don't care_

_If you hurt, I don't tell you_

_You don't care, if you're true_

_Don't tell me, I don't care_

_If you hurt, I don't tell you_

_You don't care, if you're true_

_I know you've been hurt by someone else_

_I can tell by the way you carry yourself_

_If you let me, here's what I'll do_

_I'll take care of you_

_I've loved and I've lost_

* * *

"Hey – Blair, what's going on and why does it look like you're going to brutalize a French nurse with that TV remote? Please put down the remote."

"Ugh! It's Sienna."

"Wait. What? What did she say? She was pretty emotional when she came out."

"Can't you see that she's putting on an act in front of you and everyone else? I know as much as you are a judgmental ass at times, you like to believe that you can see the best in everyone. That is something about you I respect, but as your friend Dan, you need to remove those rose-colored glasses you wear."

"Blair, I'm not going to have this conversation with you, especially in the state you are currently in. Sienna and even I have come to understand that despite you choosing Chuck in the end that I've missed you. I've missed my friend. When you had no one I was there for you. Both of us have realized we've made mistakes, Blair, and I'm willing to put the past in the past. I kind of need you to do the same for me right now by being happy for my upcoming nuptials."

"Of… of course, if that's what you really want."

"It really is."

A silence ensues that is neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, it's just silence.

"I'm going to get help Dan. Dr. Savant gave me a number to call. I know that you've always said I am fiercely strong, independent, outspoken, beautiful, intelligent, intuitive, and capable of anything… but Dan..."

"It's ok. Like the end of the card says, you'll always have me. I meant every word, so whatever you need me for, whether it be holding your hand as you dial the number, walking or going to sessions with you, helping you with Audrey, or even just to grabbing you a cup of coffee – I'll do it."

"Thank you."

"Of course, what are friends for?" Dan says while flashing Blair his toothy smile that has her heart melt.

"Ugh… yes… friends, of course." Blair seemed to be flustered, in between Dan's smile and his use of the word 'friend.'

"An intuitive woman gave me some great advice recently, and I feel you should hear it too. _'Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you… yet, someone survived… You can do anything you choose to do._'" *

"Who gave you that advice?"

A small chuckle escapes Dan's lips before his eyes grow serious again.

"Blair, it was your mother."

* * *

**Flashback – 20 minutes earlier**

_Everyone was talking amongst themselves, except for Dan who was sitting and twiddling his thumbs, while Sienna was in with Blair._

_Eleanor, who had been talking to Harold as Roman and Cyrus were talking to each other, excused herself and joined Dan on the uncomfortable hospital chairs._

_"Daniel, I would really like to thank you for helping Blair. How are you?"_

_"It's no problem at all, but I've been better. How are you holding up, Mrs. Waldorf-Rose?"_

_"Please Daniel, you've known my family for years, call me Eleanor."_

_"Only, if you call me Dan."_

_"Fine, Dan. I'm as good as any mother in this situation would be which in other words means I'm a nervous wreck."_

_"You don't have to be. You, Cyrus, Harold, and Roman all being here is giving Blair reassurance that she's going to be ok."_

_"I guess… but I just don't know what else I can do for my baby girl. I wasn't worthy for the motherly award, hell, I wasn't worthy of being a mom in general, during Blair's first bout with bulimia. Now… now, it's just breaking my heart to see her going through this, for her again but the first time for myself. Now, Blair is a mother herself and I can't just sit idly by and let her make the same mistakes with Audrey that I made with her. You know, I might've been the problem, pushing her to take over Waldorf Designs."_

_"You're here. That's all that you can do and from personal experience, or lack thereof, that's all that matters. She knows this and Audrey will know this as well. If only my own mother could put in the effort that you're putting for Blair, then maybe things wouldn't have been so screwed up."_

_"Daniel. Dan, why do I get the feeling we are drawing away from my parenting skills to your problems."_

_"Because I am talking about me. For most of my life, I've wondered how life could've been if I had fought for my mother to stay in the lives of Jenny and myself. Even the simple things, like what would if I took the time to add an extra spoonful of sugar into my cup of coffee, I'd think about the rewards or consequences to that. I just feel like such a screw-up and often I'd blame my mother but that just proves how screwed up I am!"_

_"Dan, you can't blame your mom for the mistakes you've committed and you can't blame yourself either, just as much as I like to blame myself for Blair's bulimia. Everyone's mistakes is no one's fault, they are simple errors in judgment."_

_"Thanks… I guess."_

_"I'm going to tell you something Dan and I want you to listen very closely. Now I know you're engaged to Sienna, who seems like a nice woman, but from the array of Blair's suitors, I always believed you were the right guy for her."_

_Dan just chuckles at Eleanor's omission. _

_"Well, it's nice to know one person believed in Blair and me."_

_"It's true. It's not just me however, Cyrus saw it and even Harold and Ramon saw glimpses of it, when Blair would call them. Blair and I talked once, of her difficult decision between you and Chuck and I joked by saying how she always loved Jane Austen novels. But as she rattled off pros and cons between the two of you - at which I'm not at liberty to say as her mother – I realized the strong presence you have in my daughter's life. You and Blair couldn't have been any more opposite – at least that's what I thought at first, but over the years knowing you, and connecting with Blair, the two of you are much alike than anyone would like to acknowledge. You are her true prince, Dan, and I don't doubt that for a second."_

_Getting a lump caught in his throat, Dan just had to ask, "Wh-Why are you telling me this, Eleanor?"_

_"I have grown to care a great deal about you and I could only imagine how heartbroken you were. Your second novel gave a pretty good visual, but I know there was much more raw emotion than any amount of print pages could amount to. You deserve to know the truth… and the truth is I still believe in you and my daughter forging a life together, and I think you do, too." _

_"What am I supposed to do? I'm getting married next week and Blair is here in the hospital. I love Sienna but these feelings for Blair haven't been resolved."_

_"I can't tell you that… that's something you need to figure out on your own."_

_"Easier said than done."_

_"Dan, I always thought Harold would be my forever and always but as you well know that's not true. I know Blair wants to be happy with only one man, like her fairytales and in her mind she believes it's Chuck, because he happens to be her first love. Well, technically it was Nate… but Nate is well… Nate."_

_Dan laughs through a couple of tears._

_"But like me finding Cyrus, it's not the quantity of love, but the quality of the love. You may be one of many of Blair's suitors but you stand out as being the most loving of her suitors. Don't get me wrong, Charles has his moments, but his faults outweigh those moments. I may have been oblivious to Blair when she attended Constance, but I have never turned a blind eye to her relationship with Chuck. But don't even get me started on Louis! Even though I preferred Chuck to Louis, I still had hope that there was another option out there, and that option is you, Dan. I think even at your worst Dan, you are still far more suited for Blair, than Chuck is at his best." _

_"From everything happening, I really just wanted answers as to why. Why she chose Chuck – did she not have faith in our relationship? Why couldn't she tell me straight-up? Why did she keep trying to reassure me then just blow me off? Just why? Blair and I were going to Rome that summer, who knows where we'd be if that plan had followed through?"_

_"I can't answer any of those questions, but if I could've, I would, to spare you the pain that you underwent. However, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. So what do you want in your present that will eventually lead to the mystery of tomorrow?"*_

_"That's reassuring, but I'm not entirely sure anymore."_

_"I'll leave you with one last thought, Dan: 'Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you… yet, someone survived… You can do anything you choose to do.'"_

_As Eleanor got up and began walking towards Cyrus, she turned around with a smile as Dan said, through tears,_

_"Thank you."_

**End flashback**

* * *

_Life should be like a game of cards_

_You make a mistake_

_Shuffle the deck and start over_

_It should be just like driving in your car_

_Get lost and your navigation system_

_Gets you closer_

_But there ain't no handbook_

_You're on your own_

_Got no instructions_

_When it comes to love_

_Cause once you do something_

_Can't be undone_

_Wish I could take back_

_Letting you go_

_If I knew then_

_What I know now_

_I wouldn't have said_

_I don't need you around_

_Alone in this mess_

_Silence is so loud_

_So I would treat you the best_

_Baby if I knew then_

_What I know now (What I know now)_

_What I know now (What I know now)_

_What I know now (What I know now)_

_Yeah I would treat you the best_

_Baby if I knew then_

_What I know now_

_Life should come with remote controls_

_Then I just rewind it to_

_The time it was better_

_It should have a restart button_

_So, I could travel right back_

_To the day that I met her_

_Cause there ain't no handbook_

_You're on your own_

_Got no instructions_

_When it comes to love_

_See once you do something_

_Can't be undone_

_Wish I could take back_

_Letting you go_

* * *

"My mother said those words?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you, I really needed to hear that."

"Well, thank your mother as well."

"I will."

"I think you should get some sleep, Blair. You've had a rough day and I could only imagine the energy you've drained listening to every talking to you, especially my ramblings."

"This reminds me of this girl I briefly met while working at W. She wanted to become so much in a short amount of time. In accomplishing that, she took on way too many projects at once and had barely any time to eat or sleep. I heard she even showed up to a party with two different pairs of shoes on and had a Freudian slip of sorts. But in order to save herself from entirely imploding, she had help from a guy who was her friend and not an underling; he ended up becoming her best friend. I wonder what happened to them." Blair finishes with a smile.

"Ah, I think I've met this girl before. According to the guy helping her, he saw her as fiercely strong, independent, outspoken, beautiful, intelligent, intuitive, and capable of anything… or something to the effect of those lines. From what I've heard they had a falling out…"

Blair glances down and fiddles with the hospital sheets as she frowns.

"BUT… they both want and try to rebuild their friendship."

Blair's eyes light up and meets Dan's gaze for a moment before Dan clears his throat and begins to head out.

The last thing Dan hears is a low mumble from Blair that sounds like,

"I hope they do."

* * *

_I've been waiting on the sunset_

_Bills on my mindset_

_I can't deny they're getting high_

_Higher than my income_

_Incomes bread crumbs_

_I've been trying to survive_

_The glow that the sun gets_

_Right around sunset_

_Helps me realize_

_This is just a journey_

_Drop your worries_

_You are gonna turn out fine._

_Oh, you turn out fine._

_Fine, oh, you turn out fine._

_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_You gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_I know it's hard, no it's hard,_

_To remember sometimes,_

_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_I've got my hands in my pockets,_

_Kicking these rocks._

_It's kinda hard to watch this life go by._

_I'm buying into skeptics,_

_Skeptics mess with, the confidence in my eyes_

_I'm seeing all the angles, starts to get tangled_

_I start to compromise_

_My life and the purpose._

_Is it all worth it?_

_Am I gonna turn out fine?_

_Oh, you'll turn out fine._

_Fine, oh, you'll turn out fine._

_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_You gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_I know it's hard, no it's hard,_

_To remember sometimes,_

_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_Only rainbows after rain_

_The sun will always come again._

_It's a circle, circling,_

_Around again, it comes around again._

_I said,_

_Only rainbows after rain_

_The sun will always come again._

_It's a circle, circling,_

_Around again, it comes around,_

_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_You gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_I know it's hard, no it's hard_

_To remember sometimes,_

_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_Keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_Keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_Keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down._

_I said oooh_

* * *

Meeting everyone out in the waiting room, Dan and Sienna say their goodbyes and head home, after an eventful visit. Walking out those doors, Dan takes one last glance in the direction of Blair's room and shares a smile with Eleanor.

* * *

_* Words Eleanor spoke to Dan, who in turn says to Blair – inspirational quote on moving forward by_ _Maya Angelou. _

_* Words about past, present, and future – amazing quote from my favorite and greatest animated films: Kung Fu Panda. I love the first and second, my other favorites would be Up and Ratatouille. _

_Reminder: The NEXT 2 CHAPTERS are the ones EVERY SIENNA HATER HAS BEEN WAITING FOR. The shit will hit the fan. _


	19. Say Life is Giving You Signs

_This is Chapter 18… the start of Sienna's downfall! Well it was… but it got long and clunky so I split it up. But the next chapter is posted right after! Reading this chapter, you'll understand why I couldn't possibly include the beginning of her downfall. It's very tell-y and summary-like however, but hopefully the next chapter is better!_

_OMG ONLY SAW THE LAST 2 MINUTES AND THE PROMO! APPARENTLY THE REST WAS SHIT BUT FEELS FOR DAIR. I'M TRYING SO HARD NOT TO FALL FOR IT BUT IT'S SO HARD WITH PEIGHTON DOING THEIR THING SO FUCKING FLAWLESSLY! WATCHING FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, THE SMILES N EVERYTHING LIKE OSMFOSJDF! OMG HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF! WTF DOES THAT MEAN PPL?! HAVING MENTAL BREAKDOWN, HELP DAIR FANDOM! I NEED AN IV, REHAB, INTERVENTION, SUPPORT GROUP, PRAYER CIRCLE, PLEASE ANYTHING DAMMIT!_

_OMG WAS WATCHING GLOZELL ON YOUTUBE AND I SAW HER VID CALLED "MY BOOTLEG CABBAGE PATCH DOLL" AND I GOT FEELS EVERYWHERE! LOL THE VID IS HILARIOUS THOUGH!_

_ALSO SAW THE VID OF ELLEN DEGENERES' HALLOWEEN SPECIAL, WHERE SHE DRESSED UP AS SOFIA VERGARA – ROFFL! SHE TOTALLY GOT HER DOWN, THEN TO HAVE SOFIA SHOW UP OMG LOL _

_WHY DO ALL THE GOOD SHOWS CONTINUE TO GET CANCELED? SECRET CIRCLE, RINGER, SECRET LIFE OF AMERICAN TEENAGER, AND NOW POLITICAL ANIMALS! NO! HOW DARE THEY? AND THEY STILL MANAGED TO DRAG ON GOSHIT GIRL FOR 10 EPISODES? WTF? _

_GG writers need to learn the difference between TRAUMA AND DRAMA! I SWEAR, POD-BLAIR ENJOYS LISTENING TO EMINEM AND RIHANNA'S "LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE"! AND ENJOYS DOMINIC AND MEGAN'S RELATIONSHIP IN THE VID!_

_Sidenote: Had the best dream ever! My 3 weaknesses: Chocolate, Usher, and Leighton/Penn/Dair. I had a dream that Usher and Leighton randomly showed up at my dorm room with a chocolate fountain! Um… Yes please! I had apparently won some sort of contest that I never signed up for… but I won nonetheless and I had a date with Usher, Leighton, and a chocolate fountain! OMG YES! THEN I WOKE UP AND REALIZED IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM! DX_

_Sidenote 2: HOW DOES TAYLOR SWIFT (AND ADELE) DO IT? SHE WRITES THE MOST AMAZING/HEARTBREAKING SONGS! I KNOW IT'S CUZ OF HER FAILED RELATIONSHIPS…. BUT WHY WOULD U EVER LET TAYLOR GO? AH! DX_

_Sidenote 3: For those who watch WWE: I don't believe AJ and Cena are having an affair! I have faith that Cena is faithful to his wife (although he previously filed for divorce but reconciled), and I just think AJ has a crush! Vickie Guerrero is a hypocrite when it comes to fraternizing! AJ should again be GM, she was awesome! _

_Shoutout to scrappy12 for giving me some very insightful advice on her vid blog, when she answered my question! Thnx! _

_Song lyrics in the chapter: "I Need a Girl" (English translation - KPop) by Taeyang, and "Hate That I Love You" by Rihanna ft. Ne-Yo _

_Don't own GG but I do own mistakes here!_

_As always, R&R please!_

* * *

Not much occurred within the week, except for Dan keeping his promise to Blair about being her friend and helping her, once she was discharged from the hospital. Holding her hand as she dialed the number, walking or going to sessions with her, helping her with Audrey, or even just grabbing Blair a cup of coffee – Dan did it all, and with a sincere smile on his face that Blair reciprocates.

Dan even offered to call Dorota in New York and have her fly out to Paris and assist Blair. As much as Blair loved the chance to see her Polish housekeeper, her oldest and most loyal of friends, she declined. Her explanation to Dan is that Dorota is needed much more by Vanya and Anna; Blair was not going to let Dorota be away from them for even a moment, learning that firsthand with Audrey. Part of that was true of course, but the other part which she failed to mention to Dan – for fear of embarrassment and judgment – was that after losing herself over and over again, being Robin to Batman Chuck, it was time to be Miss Independent.

Blair is a Waldorf; she is BLAIR WALDORF: the woman who wanted Yale; the woman who glared and frightened even Medusa; the woman who trademarked "tights are not pants"; and the woman who used her ambition, and intelligence to gain her internship at W, not her mother's connections or simply by the Waldorf name.

Blair wants and needs to be the woman Dan described her as. Although her relapse was not the wake-up call she would've liked, it was a wake-up call, nonetheless. She was not going to let her clueless minions or even Nelly Yuki for that matter, be the woman Blair Waldorf is meant to be.

* * *

Well, as uneventful as the week passed (well in comparison to Blair's hospital visit), Dan felt as confused and unsure of his identity since Blair left him back in New York.

Sienna, being more "understanding" of Dan and Blair's platonic relationship, didn't mind Dan helping Blair out.

Dan thought of a few things from this:

A) Sienna was genuinely trying

B) Dan was in an episode of The Twilight Zone

C) Sienna was pretending to try as to not fight with Dan

D) Options B and C apply.

Dan's final answer was set on D.

Sienna offered to join Dan a couple of times, but he politely declined each time. He didn't want there to be any awkwardness or tension even though he knew they were all well past that. Dan felt if Sienna joined, she would make him do things that would leave Sienna and Blair alone.

Dan formulated a simple equation: Sienna + Blair + alone = catfight

Knowing both women pretty well, Dan knew they would each hold their own and would not falter before the other, which would be like WWIII or like Chuck vs. himself.

So each time Dan would leave, he gave Sienna a smoldering kiss that would leave both breathless, as if to signify that he wasn't going anywhere and was in it for the long haul.

What made Dan question himself however, was the little things that happened throughout the uneventful week, mostly when he was by himself or with Blair.

On Sunday afternoon, Blair filed her discharge papers and planned to be back into her hotel suite. Eleanor and Cyrus, Harold and Ramon, and even Chuck offered up all their homes to her but none was accepted. Blair couldn't walk about in their homes and have to see their worried faces; she reassured everyone multiple times that she was going to be fine.

After dropping off Blair at her hotel, Dan did her a favor and picked up Audrey at Chuck's. During normal circumstances Chuck would disapprove Humdrum anywhere near his daughter but knew that this wasn't about either man, this was for Blair, and so Chuck relented and said:

"If you could live with Georgina and take care of her offspring for a summer without jumping off the Empire State Building, I guess you are fit to be around Audrey."

In his mind, Chuck knows Blair doesn't need Batman in her life… hell… she doesn't even need Bruce Wayne… Blair needs Peter Parker… and Dan Humphrey was her Peter Parker, however much Chuck hated to admit that.

On that Sunday afternoon, Dan experienced confusing moment number 1: Blair stared at Dan as if memorizing his every feature.

He was showing his paternal instinct naturally and flawlessly with Audrey, which gave Blair ammunition to give Dan goofy, secret smiles meant for those only who were truly and madly in love. Dan could've delved more into those looks but ignored them instead.

On Monday, Sienna had a class to teach and Dan had work and a lunch meeting with Paulo Le Cord, a prospective agent, so neither saw each other for most of the day. Dan's meeting went surprisingly well and he was quite hopeful of landing a new agent and a new book deal. His excitement led him to call Sienna, but went to voicemail as she was teaching. He texted Nate and Brady to have a beer filled evening with his buddies.

Dan, not letting anything ruin his excitement, even shared a conversation with Serena, who was happy to hear from him. Since meeting at the hospital, their friendship began to thaw. Dan saw the bubbly blond that he was once in love with and Serena saw the sensitive guy she remembered.

Dan shared his news to Blair in person, as he met up with her at her first appointment with Dr. Pearson. At the waiting room, confusing moment number 2 occurred: Blair stood up and gave Dan a hug, which was normal between friends, but this hug felt beyond friendship for Dan.

Instead of a standard hug, Blair wrapped her arms around Dan's neck and pulled him close, she stood on her tippy-toes as if she was about to kiss him, and held on tighter and longer than most hugs should. This time, Dan doesn't ignore it; he actually acknowledges and responds to this. Dan's arms automatically snake around her waist as his head makes contact with her hair and whiffs the scent of Chanel No. 5. And he lets and dare he say _enjoys_ the fact Blair held on tighter and longer. His grip around her was fairly strong and he was pretty sure he could've picked her up off the ground and spun her around, like some cheesy airport scene in a Rom-Com. He fights that urge… and thankfully Dr. Pearson's presence disrupts before things went any further…but the thought of what could've transpired gnaws at him, even throughout the 6 beers he drinks with Brady and Nate later that evening.

3 things transpired confusing moment 3 on Tuesday: Cedric, _Pride and Prejudice_, and _Breakfast at Tiffany's_.

Dan was re-shelving his novel collection during the evening when he accidently knocked Cedric over to the floor. As he walked to grab Cedric, Dan tripped over a stack of his books that his foot bumped into. A book that cushioned his fall dug into Dan's back and as he turned over to grab it, he was disappointed to find a hardcover copy of _Pride and Prejudice_.

_Of course Blair's favorite novel would be the one stabbing me in the back… how fitting._

That wasn't his only thought about the book however. Dan, as he picked up Cedric, thought about the time Blair came over to the loft with her own Cabbage Patch Doll in hand, Holly. It was a couple of days after she showed up to his loft wearing sexy as fuck lingerie that hid underneath her trench coat. Not being able to "utilize" her attire – or lack thereof – and getting Dan into an awkward situation with Rufus that day, Blair brought Holly to keep Cedric and Dan company as her way of apologizing. Blair sat Holly in between Cedric and that same edition of _Pride and Prejudice_ that he had just fallen on.

The third thing, _Breakfast at Tiffany's,_ happened later on when Dan and Sienna snuggled on the sofa. They were scrolling through his Netflix queue and all of the movies listed were of movies Dan would normally watch with Blair, including the first title: _Breakfast at Tiffany's_. Although Sienna's a teacher, she was not very fond of classics and thought they were pretentious, and preferred flicks like _Dear John _or _The Vow_ in which she would fawn over Channing Tatum. Of course Dan was offended, but a part of him liked that Sienna wasn't into the classics because that would still be the one thing that would connect him to Blair; the one thing of his relationship with Blair that wouldn't be tainted.

Confusing moment number 4 happened on Wednesday, when Dan was at work; this moment was a big one: the figurine that Blair gave Dan that continuously sits on his desk.

Blair stopped by his office that day, with Audrey gurgling in her stroller. She simply wanted to thank him for everything he's done for her… not just for the past week… but for being there at times when no one else was those years ago. She gave him a wrapped gift.

As Dan unfurled the Tiffany's blue tissue paper, a simple white cardboard box was revealed. First, his brows knitted, and then he simply lifted one up to Blair. In response, Blair's hand gestured for him to continue. The box slowly opened and revealed a figurine that was similar to the one that currently sat on his desk. This one was of a young girl reading a book. Like the first figurine Blair gave him, Dan was speechless. Blair explained that when she was yelling at him in his office, she noticed the figurine of the young boy had been repaired. She wasn't sure why he repaired it or even kept it for that matter… but thought the perfect way to thank him was to get another figurine to accompany the first. She contacted some people and somehow a figurine of the young girl reading was the end result.

After finding the courage to finally thank her, he positioned the girl right next to the boy, as Blair simply leaves. Doing this, Dan laughs because he sees the parallel to when Blair placed Holly next to Cedric; the figurine was a thank-you gift while Holy was an apology gift.

The rest of the day, Dan could barely focus on work as he just sat staring at his new figurine.

Since Dan was getting married on Saturday, he was given Thursday and Friday off to enjoy his last days of bachelor life. Dan was left alone in the condo because Sienna was teaching once again.

Confusing moment number 5 was purely Dan's own doing: he was writing his own vows.

Dan had been trying to write his vows but because he was helping Blair throughout the week, he couldn't find time. At least, that's the excuse he continously tells himself that he thinks he'll believe. Dan was finding it difficult to write his vows, which he couldn't grasp as to why. This was his OWN wedding and he's a WRITER for God's sakes! He wrote vows for Louis (who was a real douche) that peered into Blair's SOUL!

_What is going on? Why is this happening? Why is this affecting me so much?_

Giving up on his vows for 69th time, Dan opens up a new word document and purges every feeling he has about Blair Waldorf.

_- Smells nice_

_- One 95-pound, doe-eyed, bon mot tossing, label-whoring package of girly evil_

_- Evil dictator of taste_

_- Made to feel like a princess_

_- Fiercely strong, independent, outspoken, beautiful, intelligent, intuitive, and capable of anything_

_- If you could only see what I see…_

_- I don't want to be your friend __Blair_._ I want more, I want you…_

_- No, no, no...I'm...I'm not. I'm not in love...with Blair..._

_- Yes, yes, yes… I'm… I am… I still am… I'm in love… with Blair… _

_- I want you to be happy…_

_- You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy…_

_- You'll still have me…_

_- How do you kill a feeling?_

* * *

_I'm tired of being alone Sick of being single I think I need a girl I need a girl like_

_One that speaks without thinking_ _Not a little child, but one that will embrace me_ _Not a girl that plays around sometimes when she's bored_ _But one that will only love me_ _Even if she stays still and guys hand her their phone_ _That kind of girl that will proudly take out and show my picture_

_Girl, I need a girl_ _Pretty no matter what she does_ _A pretty body, too_ _Girl, I need a girl_ _Baby, I need you_ _Girl, you need me, too_

_A kind of girl that looks better in jeans than a skirt_ _A girl that will eat the kimchi fried rice that I make instead_ _A girl who looks young even though she's old_ _I like that kind of girl_ _(Know what I mean)_

_A girl that acts shy, but knows how to be bold_ _Always pretends to careful of her behavior_ _But when you're with her_ _Hmm, y'all know what I'm talking about_

_Girl, I need a girl_ _Pretty no matter what she does_ _A pretty body, too_ _Girl, I need a girl_ _I like this kind of girl_

_Looks are not an issue_ _But a cute girl who knows style_ _Even though our hobbies are different_ _Our tastes are the same_ _A girl that I can relate to a lot_ _When we watch movies or listen to music_

_(Yes!) I love girls, girls I do adore_ _In front of people, she has principles as she plays_ _In front of me, she's like "Aing, I don't know"_

_A voice that wakes me up in the morning_ _(Morning Kiss) I want to start the day_ _I'll learn on your knees at night_ _As I listen to a lullaby_ _I want to dream of you_

_Make my heart race again_ _Make me able to create sweet songs again_

_You know don't need no more_ _It's just not like that_ _You're the person I want to give my heart to_

_Girl, I need a girl_ _Girl, I get, gotta make you're mine_ _I'm treat you right, baby_

_Girl, I need a girl_ _Pretty no matter what she does_ _A pretty body, too_ _Girl,, I need a girl_ _Baby, I need you_ _Girl, you need me too_

_Girl, I need a girl_ _Girl, I need a girl_

_Girl, are you listening to me?_ _Baby, I need you_ _Girl, you need me, too_

_Girl, I need a girl_

* * *

Dan saves this document and buries the file on his laptop where he hopes no one but he will see it. Dan leaves those thoughts where they are for the rest of the day and goes to bed that evening with part of a weight lifted off his shoulders; yet he still finds himself confused as ever.

Dan tried hard to make Friday a Blair-thinking free day. Most of the day was a success as he spent a carefree day with beer and playing COD with Nate, while Sienna was teaching. This was basically his bachelor party; Nate would've set-up a whole extravaganza but this was Dan… so playing COD was the alternative. Brady was stuck at the office taking the brunt of the work Dan left behind for his days off. Evangeline took Vanessa to some of Paris' greatest attractions that like to remain underground. Nate… well… Nate has his perks at times. With The Spectator soaring to new heights, Nate can afford to take time for himself; although he does make note of the happenings in Paris that he can relay for future articles.

After bragging to Sienna about kicking Nate's ass at COD, when she walked through the door, the two spent a few romantic hours just talking about their future and how perfect their married life will be. Then she took her overnight bag and headed to Serena's hotel suite, where she and her wedding dress were crashing for the evening because of the whole superstitious belief of not seeing each other before the wedding.

Helping Sienna into her car, Dan tried to convince Sienna to stay with him for the night with a showering of kisses laced with desire and urgency. It almost worked. Almost.

When Dan got back inside the condo, there wasn't much for him to do so he started to write his vows. He finally writes a decent draft on cue cards. Dan moves on to type an outline for a new and dark story about an outlaw on the run. The outlaw meets a waitress and manipulates her to go on the run with him. Of course they get caught, but the outlaw uses the waitresses as a sacrificial lamb; she takes the fall and manages to help the outlaw escape.

Looking through his recent files for any other inspiration, Dan spots the document made yesterday and after wrestling with himself… he opens it. He reads over what he had down and adds:

_Really, how do you kill a feeling? I need to decide what's more important to me, keeping my pride and getting nothing, or taking a risk and maybe having everything; the way it should've been._ _Life seems to have been giving me signs this week, and I keep trying to ignore them because I'm afraid of what I'll do. But, then I think – what if these signs are here for a reason and ignoring them just makes me a coward?_ _Friendship can be used as an excuse, a cover, when there's something more that I don't want to admit, or too scared to explore, I know that from the first time around._ _We run from the things that truly scare us, afraid of something more. __One all-consuming, paralyzing thought: Plausible deniability. The question of whether we can fight fate will always remain a mystery. But the bigger question is what happens when we stop fighting it._

Dan simply goes to bed afterwards. He needed to get as much sleep as he could. Dan Humphrey was getting married in the morning.

* * *

_That's how much I love you  
That's how much I need you  
And I can't stand you  
Must everything you do make me wanna smile  
Can I not like you for a while? (No...)_

_But you won't let me_  
_You upset me girl_  
_And then you kiss my lips_  
_All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)_  
_Can't remember what you did_

_But I hate it..._  
_You know exactly what to do_  
_So that I can't stay mad at you_  
_For too long that's wrong_

_But I hate it..._  
_You know exactly how to touch_  
_So that I don't want to fuss…and fight no more_  
_Said I despise that I adore you_

_And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)_  
_I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)_  
_And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)_  
_But I just can't let you go_  
_And I hate that I love you so (oh..)_

_You completely know the power that you have_  
_The only one makes me laugh_

_Said it's not fair_  
_How you take advantage of the fact_  
_That I... love you beyond the reason why_  
_And it just ain't right_

_And I hate how much I love you girl_  
_I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)_  
_And I hate how much I love you girl_  
_But I just can't let you go_  
_But I hate that I love you so_

_One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me_  
_And your kiss won't make me weak_  
_But no one in this world knows me the way you know me_  
_So you'll probably always have a spell on me..._

_Yeah... Oh..._

_That's how much I love you (as much as I need you)_  
_That's how much I need you (oh..)_  
_That's how much I love you (oh..)_  
_As much as I need you_

_And I hate that I love you so_  
_And I hate how much I love you boy_  
_I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)_  
_And I hate how much I love you boy_  
_But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)_  
_And I hate that I love you so_

_And I hate that I love you so.. so..._


	20. Wedding Bells? Pt 1

_Chapter 19! This is the REAL beginning of Sienna's downfall! I could've worked more on this chapter I know, but I felt like I couldn't because I'm so engrossed in the second half of Sienna's fall from grace. I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I had fun writing it… because I know the majority has made it clear that Sienna needs to learn karma is a bitch! Like JT sings, "What goes around… comes around" (true believer in that!) Ok so after this, there are 3 more posts left: second half of Sienna's downfall, our bbs, and an epilogue! This is written in Dan's POV and may be a little vague but it'll be clarified in the next chapter! _

_Song lyrics in the chapter: "Half of My Heart" by John Mayer ft. Taylor Swift and "Good Goodbye" by Diana Degarmo_

_Don't own GG but I do own mistakes here!_

_As always, R&R please!_

* * *

Waking up this morning, I know it's an important day. Today would be the turning point in my life… although not exactly the way I thought it was going to go… but that would come later.

"I'm getting married. I'm ready."

In a mere 4 hours, I would officially be a married man and Sienna would officially be a Humphrey.

"I'm getting married. I'm ready." _Right?_

_Yes._

Ding.

I perk up to the arousing aroma of Folgers' French Roast that awaits me.

I browse through the cue cards as I sip the scalding liquid from my favorite blue ceramic mug.

_I, Dan Humphrey take you, Sienna Vattani, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward._

_I promise to run out and get ice cream for you in the middle of the night._

_To always put the toilet seat down when I'm done._

_To pick up my dirty socks every day. _

_To occasionally miss a game of COD with Nate and Brady when we have something else to do._

_I promise I will be true and loyal, and cherish you for all the days of our lives._

_All this and more I vow to you, from this day forward until death do us part._

* * *

_I was born in the arms of imaginary friends_  
_free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been_  
_then you come crashing in, like the realest thing_  
_trying my best to understand all that your love can bring_

_oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation_  
_half of my heart takes time_  
_half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you_  
_that I can't keep loving you (can't keep loving you)_  
_oh, with half of my heart_

_I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else_  
_I made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself_  
_lonely was the song I sang, 'til the day you came_  
_Showing me another way and all that my love can bring_

_oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation_  
_half of my heart takes time_  
_half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you_  
_that I can't keep loving you (can't keep loving you)_  
_oh, with half of my heart_  
_with half of my heart_

_your faith is strong_  
_but I can only fall short for so long_  
_Down the road, later on_  
_you will hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart_  
_but I can't stop loving you_  
_I can't stop loving you_

_[x3]_  
_but I can't stop loving you with half of my..._

_half of my heart_  
_half of my heart_

_half of my heart's got a real good imagination_  
_half of my heart's got you_  
_half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you_  
_that half of my heart won't do_

_half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring_  
_And half of my heart is the part of a man who's never truly loved anything_

_half of my heart_

* * *

It's decent and heartfelt enough, but I know it didn't pour my heart and soul out.

I… I love Sienna… I really do… but I just couldn't.

I still clearly remember the original vows I wrote for Blair and Louis' wedding, the unedited version, which I plugged my name into the lines.

_I, Dan Humphrey take you, Blair Waldorf, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward._

_Looking back over the many years, I always thought you'd be the death of me. And you are… you are the death of me Blair Waldorf, but in the sweetest way possible._

_Blair, you're amazingly talented, fiercely strong, independent, outspoken, beautiful, intelligent, intuitive, and capable of anything. And those are just the bare minimums to the many sides I see of you._

_I will love you for you and all your purses and shoes._

_I will love you through shopping splurges and days you consider "bad hair" days, which I think is never._

_I will love you when I sleepover at Nate's after we argue about watching Breakfast at Tiffany's… again._

_I will take "Cabbage Patch" as words of endearment and not be entirely offended when you criticize my writing. _

_I will love you even as you go through my plaid infested closet and set fire to my clothes, whether or not you are under PMS…_

_I will love you and be by your side every minute through our families' crazy visits…_

_And…_

_I will cherish our life together as lovers and as best friends for as long as we both can stay sane._

I've decided to change at St. Joseph's, our chosen venue. Sienna and I were extremely thankful they let us hold our wedding there in such short notice.

Receiving a text from Nate and Brady, who were waiting to drive me up to the church, I grab my belongings and grab one last item from the closet.

My wedding gift to Sienna.

Sienna mentioned how adventurous she was but always regretted never keeping a scrapbook filled with her adventures. Well, I got her a giant maroon colored scrapbook, hoping we'd fill in the pages of our adventures together. Because of the material, I was allowed to stitch words on the cover.

The cover was stitched with the Italian words:

"La Nostra Avventura Libro" *

The scrapbook was carefully hidden behind a few books of my stuff that was on the top shelf of our closet.

Pulling the scrapbook out, I, being the clumsy man I am manage to knock over some of Sienna's boxes of shoes that were adjacent to me.

From the scattered heels I try to match up and place back in their boxes… I find a letter that fell and landed at the corner of the room.

Unsure of what to do with the letter and being pressed for time, the letter gets placed in the inside of my suit jacket, along with my cue cards.

"Dude, what took you so long? Don't tell us you had second thoughts because the girls are already at the church!"

"No, of course not! I just wasn't expecting either of you to be so… punctual… seriously, when have you guys ever been on time for anything? Uh… I think never!"

"When our best bud is getting married, we thought: To hell with it! Let's break tradition!"

"Haha. Very funny."

"Are you ready to get married, Dan?"

"Yes. I'm ready. I'm getting married and I'm so ready!"

My voice is filled with nerves and hopefully they take that in context of standard pre-wedding jitters… not because I'm doubting myself… which I am most certainly not.

The three of us dress to our charming selves from head to toe. Stepping out to check on the girls, I was left on my own to gather any last minute thoughts.

"I'm getting married. I'm ready."

I hope our scrapbook will be filled with many adventures and will lead to several volumes, as I flip through the current blank pages. To go over my vows one last time, I pull out the cue cards.

Again, like earlier, the letter which I had actually forgotten landed on the ground, when I pulled the cards out.

"I'm getting married. I'm ready."

I know it's completely rude and inconsiderate to be reading the letter but my curiosity took over and won, as I wondered why Sienna needed to hide it within a box of her heels, if it weren't so important.

I was expecting a gushy letter directed to me or an intimate letter to or from an ex…

What I was not expecting however, was a piece of paper to be the turning point of my life.

I thought that special moment was meant to be the wedding ceremony… but I was clearly mistaken.

This piece of paper... these words…I… I don't know what to make of them.

What I do know though, is that I need clarification and I needed this clarification before I end up at the end of the aisle, vowing my love and life to a woman, who may have manipulated our whole relationship.

"I'm NOT getting married. I'm NOT ready."

Bursting through the door was Nate and Brady.

"Hey, so are you rea-"

"WHERE IS SHE?"

"Who? Sienna? You know you ca-"

"WHERE IS SHE?"

"Dan, are you ok? You need to calm down man!"

"Yeah! Like Brady said calm down. Dude you're gonn-"

"SOMEBODY JUST TELL ME! WHERE ARE THE GIRLS? BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T THINK THERE'S GOING TO BE A WEDDING IF WHAT I JUST LEARNT IS THE TRUTH!"

So they told me. Not without confusing looks and pleading to calm down. But they told me.

Heading to the room where the girls were changing, I had enough common courteousy to acknowledge my presence by knocking on the door, despite my uncontrollable rage.

"Sienna, we need to talk!"

"Dan, what are you doing out there? We can't talk. We're getting married in less than an hour!"

_Not if I have anything to say about that._

"Just open the door Sienna; this is a conversation that can't wait until after the ceremony!"

Serena, Vanessa, and Evangeline open the door and wore expressions that matched Brady and Nate's. With the seriousness plastered over my face though, the three women scattered double-time, leaving myself alone with Sienna.

In hindsight, Sienna looked immaculate.

She truly was… but I couldn't have cared less.

"How long?"

"Dan, are you ok?"

"Just answer the question! How long?"

"How long, what?"

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MANIPULATING OUR RELATIONSHIP?!"

* * *

_Here we are again_  
_All alone_  
_Standing here with you_  
_Now I see Oh_  
_We fought so hard_  
_Now there's just one thing left to do_

_This is our good goodbye_  
_Been coming around for sometime_  
_We gotta let go of the the lies_  
_We gotta move on with our lives_  
_This is our good goodbye_  
_But it's never a good goodbye_

_Here we are again_  
_And we both don't want to face it_  
_'Cause we know the end_  
_Is standing at the door_  
_We ran so far_  
_Now there's just one thing left to do_

_This is our good goodbye_  
_Been coming around for sometime_  
_We gotta let go of the lies_  
_We gotta move on with our lives_

_'Cause I know, I know_  
_That we are both not meant to be together_  
_I know, I know I guess I just love you more_

_This is our good goodbye_  
_Been coming around for sometime_  
_We gotta let go of the lies_  
_So we can move on with our lives_  
_This is our good goodbye_  
_But it's never a good goodbye_

* * *

_So of course I had to end this chapter at this point!_

_* Our Adventure Book_ – _note: I took the idea of the adventure book from the animated movie Up._


	21. GG Finale AN Rant

_I'm so sry for those expecting an update for Do You._

_I had to get those off my chest, however._

_IDK if I can work on this or my other fics bc I jus don't know how to when the show puts this out. They made Seth/Summer and Ryan/Taylor FFS! _

_Hopefully I will bc I need it and I know that many others do too, so we'll see. Hopefully if I do, Dairlings will still be reading this!_

_But in the meantime..._

_R&R plz! N let me know if I should really continue my fics... they motivate me... esp at this point! _

_THNX PEIGHTON THNX DAIR THNX DAIR FANDOM ON TUMBLR, FANFIC, LJ! KEEP US ALIVE! _

* * *

**DEAR GG WRITERS (ESP. SABOTAGE)/ CHAIR/ CHAIRSTANS**

W T F ? LIKE SRSLY DAFUQ DID I WATCH?

DERENA AND CHAIR AS ENDGAMES SRLSY?

(NOT SUPRISING IN DICTIONARY DEFINITON BUT SURPRISING AS HOW THE SHOWS PASSES NO MORALITY WHATSOEVER)

LELHWAHFOWEHIRFPOH23QEWJIU R31 I\=T

THE POTENTIAL! THAT N PEIGHTON MAKE IT SO MUCH WORSE! COULDN'T THE WRITER'S STRIKE MAGICALLY HAPPEN DURING THIS SEASON?

ACTING LIKE DAIR NEVER HAPPEND IS COLD... JUST COLD EVEN BY GG STANDARDS!

I WOULD LOVE TO GO OVER THE SHITFEST THAT IS THE PAST N CRITICIZE THE PAST… EVERYTHING FUCKED UP WITH CHAIR… AND THE PLOTHOLES ABOUT DAN AS GG…BUT I CAN ONLY TYPE SO MUCH! SO I WILL STICK TO THE FINALE AS MUCH AS I CAN!

DAN AS GG? DAFUQ? K I KNEW THIS SINCE DIANA'S VID BUT SO MANY PLOTHOLES NONETHELESS! PART OF ME IS LIKE "HE DA MAN U BITCHES!" ANOTHER PART SAYS: DID HE REALLY LOVE BLAIR…WAIT… YES DAMMIT YES! IDEGAFF ABOUT ANYTHING…. DAIR HAPPENED BITCHES!

FUCKING PLOTHOLES… I KNEW IT WAS DAN BUT I DIDN'T WANNA BELIEVE IT BC THAT WUD MEAN HE LEAKED B'S DIARY ENTRIES (HE HAD ACCESS AT THE TIME) TO RUIN DAIR!

WHY WOULD B THINK IT WAS DOROTA? B BITCHED HOW GG DESTROYED HER LIFE, SO WUD U REALLY THINK IT WAS UR LOYAL HOUSEMAID N CONFIDANTE? BITCH PLZ! WARPED LOGIC AT ITS FINEST PPL!

LOL TO CHAIR WEDDING N BASICALLY EVERYTHING ELSE RUSHED… BUT THE FACT DERENA N DAN AS GG OVERRULED CHAIR IS SORTA A CUSHION.

BUT SERENA ACTUALLY MARRYING HER LIFE STALKER? THAT JUST SHOWS HOW MUCH SHE LOVES HER SPOTLIGHT! AND HOW MUCH SHE NEEDS A MAN IN LIFE BC NOTHING SCREAMS INSECURE THAN MARRYING UR STALKER… WELL THE ONLY THING WORSE IS MARRYING PIMP/MURDERER/ATTEMPTED RAPIST/ABUSER/GUY CALLING U WET HORSE… BUT WAIT… THAT HAPPENED TOO! FUCK!

POINTS FOR DAN FOR PULLING THIS RABBIT SHIT OUT OF THE FUCKING HAT THAT WAS THE ASS FOR 6 YRS BUT U LOSE THOSE POINTS FOR MARRYING S. UGH! LONELY BOY IS STALKER BOY.

CHUCK AND BLAIR NOT GETTING REPRECUSSIONS INSTEAD BEING REWARDED FOR A QUICKY WEDDING… AS QUICK AS THEIR SEXCAPADES BC HOW LONG CAN U GO FOR A GUY WHO KEEPS HIS CLOTHES ON?

OK… HENRY WAS CUTE… BUT DAMN I FEEL SO BAD FOR THE KID…C'MON FURNITURE AS PARENTS? LOLZ

NATE RUNNING MAYOR? #NATEFUSED…. SAGE/STEVEN? WHAT HAPPENED… O IDEC! I WAS HOPING FOR IVY/JULIET/OR VANESSA

BTW THOSE ONE-LINERS CAMEOS WERE JUST UGH… EXCEPT FOR KRISTIN BELL N RACHEL BILSON CUZ HOW CAN U HATE THEM? THEY R AWESOME N WAT HAVE THEY EVER DONE… BESIDES BEGRUDGINLGY ACCEPT THE CAMEOS! BUT MAYOR BLOOMBERG? WOW

ADULTS… BORING…. BUT JANGINA THAT IS SOMETHING. BUT WTF HAPPENED TO MILO? DID U DISPATCH PHILIP IN THOSE 5 YRS BTW G?

HOW MUCH DID THEY PAY LEIGHTON TO TROLL EVERYONE WITH HER "THRILLED" REMARK AND HER WORDS ON RETROSPECTIVE?

WELL WE RARELY SAW PENN/LEIGHTON DISCUSS CUZ THEY HAVE NO POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT (WHICH MADE ME SAD CUZ I MISSED THEIR PERFECT FACES).

CHACE'S MILF COMMENT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THAT ULTIMATE BS

DAIR WAS ACKNOWDLEGED BUT USED A CLIP OF B SHUTTING D ON V DAY! REALLY?

WHY DID I FUCKING WASTE 6 YEARS OF LIFE ON THIS SHIT FULL OF PLOTHOLES AND GLAMORIZING THE WORST OF A PERSON'S CHARACTER?

IF I WANTED SHIT LIKE THAT WOULDN'T TEEN MOMS AND HONEY FUCKING BOO BOO BE BETTER SHOWS?

I'M TOTALLY DRUNK RAGING/LOLING

I'M FREE…. THEY'RE FREE…

I'M NEVER MENTIONING THIS SHOW TO ANYONE… THEY'RE NEVER MENTIONING THIS SHOW ON THEIR RESUMES

O PEIGHTON MY BBS! WHY MUST THEY HAVE U ASSASINATED YOU IN POINT BLANK RANGE? Y DID U 2 HAVE TO B SO BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER AS ACTORS/CHARACTERS ON GOSHIT GIRL? I RAISE A GLASS FOR FUTURE ENDEAVOURS AND…. FUTURE *WINK* *WINK*

ONLY FOR PEIGHTON BC THEY FUCKING RULE. ED I DON'T REALLY CARE… CHACE WILL BE CHACE… N BLAKE… HONEY UR MARRIED TO RYAN FRICKIN REYNOLDS, U DON'T NEED ANYMORE EXPOSURE… ALTHOUGH I SUGGEST ACTING CLASSES!

LIKE SHELDON: O HOW I WEEP FOR HUMANITY! (AND SCOTT!)

SURE… THEY HAVE CHAIR/DERENA FINALE AS CANON ESP WIT THOSE 5 YRS FORWARD... BUT JUS WAIT TILL THEY HIT 30'S/40'S WHEN (IF) THEY GET WISE… A WHOLE NEW TUNE WILL B PLAYED!

ADELE… IF YOU WANT TO SET THINGS ON FIRE, LEAVE THE RAIN ALONE N TAKE JUSTIN BIEBER, CHAIR, CHAIRSTANS, GG WRITERS, AND GIVE AN EXTRA SOMETHING FOR SABOTAGE!

O M G (I WILL NEVER B ABLE TO SAY OMG WITOUT LOZ/RAGE OR EVEN A STAPLER) I CAN FINALLY GIVE DEUCES TO THIS SHITFEST N ACTUALLY LIVE!

MY HEAD CANON IS DAIR ON MET STEPS, GOING TO ROME HAVING KINKY SEX AT VATICAN MUSEUMS, SPANISH STEPS, SISTINE CHAPEL, FONTANA DI TREVI, N OF COURSE ROMAN COLLEOSEUM. THEY WILL SETTLE DOWN BY BEING HAPPILY (NOT BC WE KILLED SOMEONE N DON'T WANNA TESTIFY HAPPY) MARRIED WITH LITTLE HUMPHREY-WALDORF'S THAT R INTELLECUTAL SNOBS, RUNNING AROUND WITH AMAZING HAIR AND THEIR VERY OWN CPKS! D WILL STILL BE A GREAT NOVELIST AND BLAIR WILL STILL BE A DICTATOR OF TASTE AS A FASHION JOURNALIST!

_**I REGRET NOTHING! DAIR IS FLAWLESS SO… DEAL WITH IT BITCHES!**_

_**DAIR FTW**_

_**PEIGHTON FTW**_

_**DEUCES**_

_**HUNGRYEATER**_


End file.
